What Really Happened Aboard The Mary Celeste?

July 31, 2007 at 3:10 pm (TV Commercials)

 What Really Happened Aboard The Mary Celeste?

My friend Sapna has observed that I like to make up my own
joke one-liners.

That is very true!

I also like to write my own TV commercials.

And it occurred to me that I hadn’t done that in a while.

So I decided to write one tonight.

TV Commercial Written
by Christopher
aka Dracul Van Helsing
July 28th, 2007
Name of commercial:
What really happened aboard the Mary Celeste?

Scene: As a ship is shown tossed to and fro in the
midst of a terrible storm, the narrator’s voice spookily intones:

On November 7th, 1872 under the command of Captain
Benjamin Briggs, the ship Mary Celeste set sail from Staten
Island, New York to Genoa, Italy…


She never reached her destination…

(spooky organ music hits crescendo in background)

The narrator’s voice continues to spookily intone:

On the evening of December 4th to 5th, 1872, she was found adrift
in Atlantic Ocean waters headed straight towards the Strait of Gibraltor.

No one was found aboard the ship save a single cat.

The ship had been abandoned for some mysterious reason…

(Voice of ghostly laughter is heard in the background)

(Scene: A huge burly sweating perspiring sailor of a man
can be seen boarding a ship marked Mary Celeste)

Voice of TV commercial announcer: Have you ever considered
what might happen if your underarm deodorant protection breaks 

Voice of narrator: The ship Mary Celeste set sail… never reached
her destination… the ship had been abandoned for some mysterious

Voice of TV commercial announcer: Please use Old Spice underarm
deodorant… the kind made for men of the sea…


  1. sarejess said,

    LOL Old Spice is of course well known as the only deodorent used by selfrespecting saliors Rumor has it even the flying Dutchman uses it keeps him fresh God knows he needs it.

  2. draculvanhelsing said,

    The Cape of Good Horn would be getting pretty gamey in odour by now if the Flying Dutchman didn’t use Old Spice! 😉

  3. sarejess said,

    Patent number one of the year 1601 Old Spice but back then it was known as Just Spice.

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