O, What CAN This Poem Be About?

January 19, 2009 at 4:16 pm (Humour, Poetry, Politics)

Said the little engine that could,
I think I can, I think I can
and he did to the top of the hill.

Said Barack Obama,
“Yes, we can, yes we can”
and he did-
he’s being sworn in on Capitol Hill.

Said the Moulin Rouge owner to the show girls,
“Do the can-can, Do the can-can”
and now Paris gentlemen
are pole vaulting up the hill. 😉

                                     -Dracul Van Helsing
                                       January 19th, 2009

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If A Bollywood Movie Were Filmed In A Canadian Snowstorm

January 15, 2009 at 5:17 pm (Humour)

A friend of mine, Natalie from Sydney, Australia recently
posted a YouTube video in which she said her
favourite movie of all from 2008 was a film called
Slumdog Millionaire.

In last night’s newspaper here, they gave a write-up
on the film in which they noted Slumdog Millionaire
won 4 Golden Globe Awards including Best Motion
Picture Drama.

The Golden Globes of course are a good
predictor of the Oscar winners.

The plot of Slumdog Millionaire 
is about a teen-ager who lives in the
rougher districts of Mumbai who lands a
spot on the Indian equivalent of the quiz
show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

Anyways this started me thinking about an 
ezBlog post Soni Kudi wrote in the past week-
something to the effect about “If life were
like a Bollywood movie…”

One of the amusing things she
mentioned was about being stuck in 
a traffic jam in the middle of Mumbai
in the middle of the pouring rain
and jumping out of the taxi cab 
you’re in and breaking into song.

I found this highly amusing.

If anyone has actually done this in real life
and has taken a photo of this, please post it
so I can see. 😉

Anyhow this started me thinking what it
would be like if they filmed a Bollywood movie
here in Canada in the middle of winter in the
middle of a typical Canadian snowstorm.

Our hero would be stuck in a taxi in a traffic
jam in downtown not in the middle of the
pouring rain but in the middle of a blizzarding

He would have trouble opening the door of the
back seat of the cab to break out in song in
the middle of the street because he would be
trying to open the door against 80 kilometre
an hour wind gusts.


The taxi driver would be shouting at him,
“Close the door you idiot. You’re letting snow
into the cab.”

When our hero finally succeeds in opening the cab
door against the 80 kilometre an hour winds,
he bursts into song as he’s pelted with rapidly
falling snow flakes.

As he’s singing, the taxi driver angrily gets out
of the cab, “You idiot. You let a ton of snow into
my cab” and proceeds to start strangling our hero
who never misses a note of the song he’s singing.

As our hero is bravely singing and bravely
being strangled at the same time in the midst
of the ferocious blizzard, Aishwarya Rai wearing
a multicoloured sari struggles in her spiked stiletto
high-heeled shoes through the 40 foot snow drifts
running down the middle of the snow covered street
and shouting, “God, it’s freezing cold out.”

A singing policeman who’s over here on a
Mumbai-Edmonton police exchange program
manages to get the fingers of the strangling
taxi cab driver off the throat of our hero.

Our hero and Aishwarya Rai are about to run
into each other’s arms when suddenly they are both
scooped up by different snow ploughs driving in 
opposing directions.

Our hero sings to Aishwarya Rai, “Don’t worry,
darling. I’ll find you in whatever snowpile you’re in.”

The entire city then bursts into a chorus of

“Oh, the weather outside is frightful
but the weather inside’s delightful,
let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…”

The End.

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