The Heart of Atum-Ra

February 16, 2011 at 9:12 pm (Vampire novel)

Renfield R. Renfield put down the phone.

“That was the Boss’s chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher phoning from the lab,” Renfield spoke to Amadeus, “he’s called about that meteorite with the DNA of the Boss’ great-grandfather Atum-Ra”.

“Has someone tried to steal it again like those two Italian secret agents tried to do last night?” Amadeus asked as he munched on a Salt and Vinegar potato chip.

“No,” Renfield shook his head.

“That’s the second time they managed to break into the Boss’ lab,” Amadeus noted as he dipped the chip into Sour Cream and Onion chip dip, “remember that this duo of Antonio and Giuseppe tried to break into the lab once before to steal the DNA extracted from the members of a Middle East Emir’s under-age harem for Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. Only they were stopped by the Boss’ guardian hybrid T-Rex Giraffe. Speaking of which, how did they manage to slip by Julius last night?”.

“Well, apparently Julius has a weakness for Nabisco Barnum’s Animal Crackers,” said Renfield, “which I don’t know where he got it from…”

Amadeus who had been reaching for his box of Nabisco Barnum’s Animal Crackers from under the sofa decided not to pull it out.

“And somehow these secret agents Antonio and Giuseppe found out about Julius’ weakness for Nabisco Barnum’s Animal Crackers I don’t know how…” Renfield went on.

Amadeus picked up his lap top, went to his Facebook page and deleted the section where he talked about his Pets’ likes and dislikes.

“So anyhow Antonio and Giuseppe managed to get ahold of a giant box of Nabisco Barnum’s Animal Crackers and threw it to Julius after they jumped over the Set Enterprises’ fence…” Renfield continued.

Amadeus googled the term Where can one buy a giant box of Nabisco Barnum’s Animal Crackers?.

“And they would have made it all the way to the lab too if I hadn’t been working late and caught them before they stole the meteorite,” Renfield beamed with pride.

“How do you know they were going to steal the meteorite?” Amadeus asked as he started signing up for a membership in eBay.

“They confessed to the whole thing after I swiped the bottles of red and white wine from their respective coat jackets and refused to give them back unless they talked,” Renfield grinned.

“Their bottles of wine didn’t break after jumping over the fence?” Amadeus looked up from the lap top.

“No, they held on to their respective bottles tightly as they jumped over the fence,” Renfield explained, “although Giuseppe was whining and snivelling about splitting his pants after he jumped over the fence.”

“I see,” Amadeus bit into another potato chip.

“And I discovered they weren’t working for Berlusconi in trying to steal the meteorite either,” Renfield smiled a broad smile, “you’ll never guess who they were working for?”.

“The Vampiress Isis perhaps?” Amadeus took a sip of his Cream Soda.

Renfield’s face looked downfallen.

“Was I right in my guess?” Amadeus asked.

“Yes,” Renfield grimaced, “how did you know?”.

“I didn’t,” Amadeus shrugged, “I just took a guess like you told me to.”

“You totally ruined my element of surprise,” Renfield harrumphed as he reached into his lunch bag for a tuna fish sandwich.

* * *

“Why is there a huge band aid on your finger?” Dr. Cadbury Rocher asked Renfield as the evil shapeshifter and Amadeus showed up in the Set Enterprises’ lab.

“I caught it in a mouse trap when I reached into my lunch bag to pull out a tuna fish sandwich,” Renfield fumed.

“At least you discovered what became of the mouse trap,” Amadeus smiled, “I couldn’t remember where I put it last night. Although I did remember to bring the cheese.”

Amadeus produced a huge package of cheddar cheese.

“Why did you call us down to the lab?” Renfield asked.

“Well I tried cloning Atum-Ra from that sample on the meteorite you gave me,” Dr. Rocher explained, “and it was a curious thing. After I extracted a miniscule quantity of DNA, the rest of the DNA just mysteriously disappeared without a trace off the meteorite.”

“What a bummer,” Renfield had to admit, “so were you able to do anything with the little DNA you had?”.

“Behold…” Dr. Rocher flicked a light switch on in the lab…

10 feet above a table with test tubes… suspended in the air by itself… was a live beating heart.

“The Heart of Atum-Ra,” Dr. Rocher smiled.

To be continued.

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