Amadeus’ Surprise

April 27, 2011 at 9:12 pm (Humour, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield was feeling depressed.

He still had not received an invitation to Prince William and Kate Middleton’s Royal Wedding at Westminster Abbey this coming Friday and time was running out.

He still had not picked up a tuxedo not wanting to spend any money unless he was definitely going.

Then to top it off the guy he had killed last Friday (as an act of vengeance for the fellow stealing the last tuna fish sandwich on a plate that Renfield had wanted at a party two years ago) the Death Heavy Metal Lord Stryker had apparently risen from the dead this past Easter Sunday morning according to the radio broadcast of Coast To Coast AM With George Noory he had heard on short wave from the U.S. last night.

He did not bother opening the mansion front door when he heard a knock.

Instead Amadeus Emanon who was still busy eating all the chocolate Easter Bunnies and chocolate Easter eggs he had got last Sunday was forced to go answer it.

It was the post man with a registered letter for Mister Amadeus Emanon.

Amadeus signed for it with his chocolatey fingers to which the Royal Mail letter carrier harrumphed before leaving.

He then opened the letter with his chocolate covered fingers and smiled.

“What is it?” Renfield asked out of curiosity.

“It’s from Buckingham Palace,” Amadeus smiled a most alluring smile, “they apologized for being so late but here’s my personal invitation to William and Kate’s wedding this Friday.”

“What the F—?” Renfield’s face turned redder than a Communist lobster in heat and the throes of sexual passion, “how the Hell did you get an invitation to the Royal Wedding and I didn’t?.”

“Remember a few weeks ago,” Amadeus calmly bit into another chocolate Easter Bunny, “when I was invited to give that Johann Sebastian Bach piano recital at St. Martin’s Church in the Lincolnshire city of Stamford?”.

“The one you invited me to go with you and I turned it down because I said who wants to visit some hick place in the sticks of England?” Renfield started involuntarily sprouting his hamster whiskers.

“That’s the one,” Amadeus then bit into a chocolate Easter egg, “anyhow it turns out Kate Middleton’s parents were in Stamford that day and they dropped into Saint Martin’s Church for my recital of Bach. They were so impressed with my virtuoso performance they said they would try to get me an invitation to their daughter and Will’s wedding. Then they asked me if I had any friends with me that would like to go. Athelstan was with me so they said they would try to get him in.”

Athelstan was the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

As Amadeus finished the story and finished his egg, Athelstan came in from the kitchen looked pleased as punch.

“I just got a registered letter at the kitchen back door,” Athelstan beamed so highly that it looked like his smile reached the beams of the high-ceilinged living room of the colossal mansion, “I’ve been invited to the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.”

Renfield started banging his own head on the table next to him.

An hour later he finally knocked himself out.

To be continued.

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