Renfield Awakens

June 22, 2011 at 5:27 pm (Vampire novel) ()

Renfield R. Renfield was finally awakened by the smell of tuna fish sandwiches coming from the next room.

For almost 2 months now, he had lain comatose and unconscious in the neurosciences unit of King’s College Hospital London after he had knocked himself out when he discovered he wouldn’t be getting an invitation to the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

Renfield pulled the intravenous feeding tubes out of his arms and then went to the hospital room next door where he swiped the tuna fish sandwiches and ate them all.

“Ah, this tastes much better than having liquid shoved through the arm,” Renfield belched.

He then left the hospital and went home to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion.

No one was home.

Neither his boss Set nor Amadeus Emanon nor Athelstan the butler.

Renfield checked his email to see who had left him get well messages.

None had.

He seemed to have a lot of fair weather friends he reckoned.

Renfield then brought out all his machine guns and his ammunition.

He then wrote down a list of all his supposed friends.

He then jumped into Set’s red Ford Mustang sports car and drove to the addresses of said friends.

On the BBC News that night, BBC was reporting the greatest number of mysterious shootings and killings of various individuals in London in a single day.

Renfield laughed as he looked at the television, “Don’t claim to be a friend of mine unless you really mean it. If you’re one of my worst enemies posing as a friend, you’ll die. Rest assured of that.”

To be continued.

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