The Rhino Was A Wino

June 27, 2011 at 10:14 pm (Humour, Poetry) (unusual wine connoisseurs, wino rhino)

The rhino was a wino
he drank wine so fine
sparkling from the Valley of the Rhine
and dry- a Napa Valley high
whose bouquet was like the sky.

A little Chardonnay here
occasionally a glass of beer
for he was the most interesting rhino in the world
and many an interesting tale he unfurled
in a Milan bistro
or a London disco
or a Paris cafe
or with a San Francisco gay.

His adventures he told
with a little Merlot
and when he got on the Cabernet
with some oysters flambe
he slept in the next day.

With Riesling and Pinot Noir
his nose danced quite far
as he sniffed the aroma
like a winetasters’ diploma.

And then one fine day
while he baked his souffle
his kidneys and liver gave out
he fell over on his snout.

But he died one happy Rhino
unlike his pallbearer
a polar bear called Albino
who developed a hernia- kindo
or maybe kinda
that came from carrying
the intoxicated reminda
of the rhinoceros finda’
of many a fine wine-a.

-A poem written by Christopher Van Helsing
Monday evening June 27th 2011.