Vampire On The Beach

August 18, 2011 at 5:53 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dracul Van Helsing was taking a break from vampire hunting and vampire slaying and was taking a refreshing night time swim in a lake.

The only thing he had on the beach was his towel.

The vampire flew on to the beach in the basking glow of the full moon.

He smiled and licked his lips.

There was renowned vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing without a wooden stake or Holy Water or a Cross.

The only thing he had on the beach was a towel- a very beautiful towel judging from the intricate woven patterns on it- but a towel just the same.

He, the vampire smiled, would be known as the vampire who slayed Dracul Van Helsing.

“Greetings, Dracul Van Helsing,” the vampire said as the vampire slayer emerged from the water, “so here you are without a Cross or Holy Water or a wooden stake. Prepare to meet your Maker, oh foolish one.”

Van Helsing hit the vampire with the towel and the vampire started to disintegrate.

“This,” Van Helsing calmly explained as the vampire disintegrated, “is a towel woven by a Malaysian Iban woman. It was hand woven on a back-strap loom which is called Pua. In Iban culture, weaving is considered sacred and is able to mediate between man and the spirit world. Spiritual power is woven into the designs. The designs on this patterned towel convey in its intricate designs the story of Christ’s Death on The Cross and His Resurrection.”

“Now you tell me,” were the vampire’s last words before his head disintegrated.

Further on down the beach, a TV commercial was being shot and filmed for Canada’s Dairy Queen Restaurants (Dairy Queen is famous in Canada for its ice cream cones and ice cream sundaes and banana splits and a special ice cream dessert called an Ice Cream Blizzard).

“Well,” said the TV Commercial spokesman for Dairy Queen Restaurants, “here at Dairy Queen, we don’t just give you a great tasting Ice Cream Blizzard Sundae for only $2.99, here at Dairy Queen, we show you a vampire hunter slaying a vampire with only a wet towel…”

To be continued.

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