Renfield Frolics In Nevada While Blizzard Hits Northeastern U.S. And Canada

February 9, 2013 at 6:15 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The following blog entry is taken from a vampire novel I’m currently in the process of writing. In fact, it’s the particular vampire novel chapter I wrote today:


As a huge blizzard paralyzed the northeastern U.S. and Atlantic Canada, Renfield R. Renfield was busy frolicking on the Cottontail Ranch in Nevada.


Amadeus Emanon sat in the ranch house’s waiting room quietly sipping tea while a group of scantily clad, topless and short skirted women asked him, “Is there anything else we can do for you, sir?”.


“No, I’m quite happy with the tea, honey and lemon you’ve served me,” Amadeus smiled as he sipped his tea.


A huge banging sound could be heard coming from the room upstairs.


“Are you doing some renovating?” Amadeus asked the short skirted topless blonde woman who was sitting on top of the registry desk with her legs uncrossed.


“No, that would be your friend banging upstairs, sir,” was the woman’s reply.


“I didn’t even know Renfield had studied carpentry,” Amadeus looked quizzical.


“Are you sure you wouldn’t like to do some banging yourself?” a topless slit skirted Asian woman with spiked stiletto black leather leather boots asked Amadeus.


“No, I never studied carpentry,” was Amadeus’ answer.


The women in the room sighed.


“Did you even study high school biology?” a short skirted woman with a Jamaican accent asked Amadeus.


“No, I never went to school having been genetically cloned in a lab,” was Amadeus’  reply, “I taught myself by reading the books in my boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s library but I never got around to looking at the biology section.”


The women looked at one another in huge disbelief even though what Amadeus said was the complete truth.


“And was your friend genetically cloned in a lab as well?” asked the woman from Mumbai, India who was only wearing a red lingerie slip and black silk nylons.


“He was,” Amadeus nodded.


“But it sounds from the noise coming upstairs he got around to reading the biology section of your boss’ library,” the topless short skirted blonde asked him.


“He did,” Amadeus smiled as he finished his tea.


“Oh God, oh God,” a woman’s voice from upstairs screamed in sure ecstasy.


“Renfield must have done a wonderful job renovating your friend’s room from the response your friend gave upstairs,”  Amadeus looked in the direction of the ceiling.


“No doubt,” the slit skirted woman from Shanghai said.


“But he must be charging an arm and a leg for his work,” Amadeus stated sympathetically, “as you seem not able to afford much clothes to pay for his renovations.”


All the women just stared at Amadeus in shock.


“I’m finished,” Renfield came bounding down the stairs while putting on his clothes at the same time.


“I never knew you did carpentry work,” Amadeus put his tea cup down on the registry counter, “and what’s more I never knew you did carpentry work in the nude.”


Renfield looked at Amadeus in confusion, “What the fuck are you talking about?”.


“Well, he wasn’t talking about what you just mentioned,” the red lingerie clad Indian woman replied, “he was talking about carpentry.”


To be continued.

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