Renfield And His Rendition of The William Tell Overture

March 4, 2013 at 10:46 pm (Humour, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The following is the chapter in my vampire novel which I wrote today Monday March 4th 2013.


I decided to post it here because the chapter is pretty well self-contained and one doesn’t have to know what’s happened previously in the novel to (hopefully!) enjoy this chapter in and of itself.



Renfield And His Rendition of The William Tell Overture

A vampire novel chapter written by Christopher

Monday March 4th 2013.




Renfield R. Renfield had been ordered by his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set to fly back to London, England.



Renfield decided to make a pit stop in Chicago, Illinois before flying home as he heard the Chicago Symphony Orchestra was going to do a performance of Rossini’s William Tell Overture.


Renfield had always wanted to conduct the William Tell Overture plus he had an idea on how to make the performance even more spectacular.


According to the original story of William Tell, the Swiss gentleman who was a master crossbow archer had been ordered by enemy soldiers to shoot an apple placed on top of his son’s head splitting the apple in two and do so without managing to harm his son.


William Tell was successful in his feat.


Renfield’s idea was to place apples on the heads of the musicians in the Chicago Symphony Orchestra and during the most exciting part of the Overture, the musicians would stand and a group of crossbow archers that Renfield had hired would shoot arrows through the apples on the heads of the musicians splitting the apples in two without harming the musicians.



                          *       *     *


It was performance night and maestro Renfield stepped up to the podium with his baton and started conducting the Chicago Symphony Orchestra in its performance of the William Tell Overture.



At the most critical moment of the Overture, Renfield waved for the apple on head-wearing musicians to stand…




                                            *       *    *




The next morning a Chicago radio station reported in its news broadcast, “And in the news today, the call has gone out for musicians to appear for auditions to replace the 95% of the members of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra whose positions suddenly became vacant last night as a result of last evening’s disastrous rendition of Rossini’s William Tell Overture.


“And in other news, Renfied R. Renfield has admitted that the archers he hired for last evening’s performance could probably stand to use a lot more archery lessons…”




  1. Hyperion said,

    Bwaa haa haaaa! Renfield has such great ideas. Execution needs some work, LOL! 😀

  2. Dracul Van Helsing said,

    Yes, the execution of his ideas definitely needs some work. 😀

  3. ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

    Oh! That is funny. I thought I read this (perhaps) at that time when I was at Xanga? I am not sure but I have to lie. Perhaps I did read this and not really remembering. But the apple part is the one that stir my memories on some parts of Renfield story of which I did read not so long ago.

    The execution work was a total disaster. Reminded on the part where the evil King Geofrey in Westeros (Game of Throne) shot a prostitute tied to his bed and killed her in doing so. Evil boy! 😛

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, I suppose I would have posted this at Xanga as well.

      It was about the summer of 2013 that Xanga tanked.

      Awfully mean of King Geofrey.

      He needs to be tied to a tree with an apple on his head while Renfield practices his archery lessons. 😀

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        Yes, awful Geofrey! Well … he got hell of an evil mother! 😛

        Alright, Chris! Got to go now. I’ll return after the shopping and am going to bake some Christmas cookies this late afternoon. And I will bake mushroom muffins too – with some think slices of onions & brocollis in it. Really, really nice! 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        All right.

        Stay safe on the snow and ice.

        Those Christmas cookies and mushroom, onion and broccoli muffins sound really good. 🙂

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