Halloween Trick For All Time

October 31, 2013 at 8:13 pm (Poetry, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , )

Halloween Trick For All Time




It was the night of Halloween

there stood the Pirate Queen

on the deck of a ship of ghosts

where heads decorated the masting posts.




The ship’s captain was a vampire

lust for blood was his desire.

Into port they sailed

as whalers wailed

for no whale was in sight

here on this night of fright.



The ghostly crew leapt on to shore

in search of mere mortals galore

but the sights they encountered on the streets

caused their undead hearts to skip some beats.



For there were ghosts and ghouls

princes,  jesters and fools

all were out walking

and zombies were talking

the werewolves were mocking

a vampiress’ stocking

for it was hole- y unholy pantyhose

“This town is undead,” the saying arose.




The ghostly crew returned to their ship

carrying their gold and not leaving a tip.

For there was no service in this town

not a mere mortal was around.



For the ship of ghosts it was Fate’s trick sublime

they had landed at the wrong time

for tonight mortals had dressed up as ghouls

turning the ship of ghosts into the ship of fools

for they had landed at Halloween

now on deck weeps the Pirate Queen.





-A Halloween poem

  written by Christopher

  Thursday October 31st


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Haiku About Halloween Pumpkins

October 29, 2013 at 6:39 pm (Poetry) (, , , , )

Carving large pumpkins 

turning these gourds into ghosts

Happy Halloween!

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Haiku About Saint Crispin’s Day

October 25, 2013 at 3:12 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

It’s Saint Crispin’s Day

King Hal leads at Agincourt

men those happy few

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Haiku For My Friend Sherrie And Her Oak Tree

October 24, 2013 at 6:57 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The great mighty Thor

stands at friend Sherrie’s oak tree

asking Where’s Odin?

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Is The U.S. Spying On German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s Mobile Phone?

October 23, 2013 at 8:11 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Is The U. S. Spying On German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s Mobile Phone?

“The United States is not monitoring and will not monitor the communications of the Chancellor,” White House spokesman Jay Carney told the media assembled in the White House briefing room.

. . .

“That’s very true,” Renfield R. Renfield said as he looked at the TV screen.

The shapeshifting hamster/human chief of security for the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set suddenly noticed a red button light up in the computer monitoring room he was in at Set’s colossal West London mansion.

“Ah, another call coming in,” Renfield smiled.

Renfield put on his headphones.

It was Russian President Vladimir Putin phoning the German Chancellor asking on behalf of the Kremlin chef if he could have Mrs. Merkel’s personal recipe for homemade German sausages and sauerkraut.

Mrs. Merkel gave the Russian President the recipe.

When the conversation ended, Renfield stopped the recording.

Since he could not speak German himself, Renfield phoned a lusty, sexy and voluptuous blonde German dominatrix he often visited whenever he was in Berlin.

Renfield played the recording for Helga.

Helga translated.

Renfield wrote everything down.

He then phoned the NSA (U.S. National Security Agency) in Washington D.C. and passed on the pertinent information.

“It’s fun being a freelancer now and again,” Renfield smiled as he looked at his cheque from the U.S. government.

He better hurry out and cash it down at the bank just on the off-chance that the U.S. Congress might do something extraordinarily stupid in the next 24 hours and send the American economy into a tailspin and dry up U.S. government revenues.

. . .

America’s First Lady Michelle Obama was on the phone talking to the White House chef making final arrangements for a special upcoming dinner at the White House.

“Oh and one more thing,” Mrs. Obama looked at the piece of paper in front of her, “I just got this new recipe for homemade German sausages and sauerkraut…”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 23rd

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Haiku About Walking Through A Park In The Fog

October 22, 2013 at 11:45 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Walking Through A Park In The Fog




A fog filled park

I expect Hamlet’s dad’s ghost

to rise from the mist


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Haiku About A Foggy Mist-Filled Evening In Vancouver

October 21, 2013 at 7:15 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , , , )

Fog grasps the city

embracing like tale shrouded

in dark mystery

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The Wreck of the Armstrong Custer

October 15, 2013 at 7:01 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , , , )

The Wreck of The Armstrong Custer




It was a ship whose name most ship captains often laughed to scorn

named by an oil executive whose ancestor died at Little Big Horn.

This ship often sailed into Vancouver’s port

a tanker they called the Floating Fort.




This tanker carried oil to China and Hong Kong

where it sold for billions not a pittance of a song.



While in port absorbing oil from a pipeline

the captain went for a walk in autumn sunshine.



Through trails and trees he walked

while squirrels frolicked and seagulls squawked

and there in the clearing he stumbled upon a totem pole

where thunderbird rose with the sky as his goal.



The captain looked at the ancient artifact

while removing a cigarette from its pack

he lit a light with his match

and from his fingers did dispatch

without bothering to put it out

soon fire covered the ground about.




The totem pole burned to the ground

and thunderbird perished without sound.

The captain walked on without a care

only ancient spirits did despair.





Days later out on the high seas of the Pacific Ocean

the tanker Custer was tossed to and fro with great commotion

and swooping down from the skies

with great ferocious cries

a huge black bird with vast wing span

picked the ship up like a girl with a fan

and soared into the heavens like a bat out of Hell

and from its beak dropped the ship into the ocean swell.




That was the end of the Armstrong Custer

a ship whose end came without much bluster.

When other ships came upon the wreck

there with his feet nailed to the deck

was the captain now skull and bones

having come face to face with Davy Jones

he had entered that gentleman’s locker without much stealth

in his hands clutched a pack that said

Cigarettes are hazardous to your health.





-A narrative poem

  written by Christopher

  Tuesday October 15th



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Haiku About Actor Vincent Price

October 13, 2013 at 3:37 pm (Poetry) (, , , , )

Mister Vincent Price

a voice so soft and mellow

bespeaks such terror

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Haiku About Canadian Thanksgiving Weekend

October 12, 2013 at 4:28 pm (Poetry) (, , )

It is Thanksgiving 

eat pumpkin stuffing gravy

don’t be a turkey

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