Halloween Trick For All Time
Halloween Trick For All Time
It was the night of Halloween
there stood the Pirate Queen
on the deck of a ship of ghosts
where heads decorated the masting posts.
The ship’s captain was a vampire
lust for blood was his desire.
Into port they sailed
as whalers wailed
for no whale was in sight
here on this night of fright.
The ghostly crew leapt on to shore
in search of mere mortals galore
but the sights they encountered on the streets
caused their undead hearts to skip some beats.
For there were ghosts and ghouls
princes, jesters and fools
all were out walking
and zombies were talking
the werewolves were mocking
a vampiress’ stocking
for it was hole- y unholy pantyhose
“This town is undead,” the saying arose.
The ghostly crew returned to their ship
carrying their gold and not leaving a tip.
For there was no service in this town
not a mere mortal was around.
For the ship of ghosts it was Fate’s trick sublime
they had landed at the wrong time
for tonight mortals had dressed up as ghouls
turning the ship of ghosts into the ship of fools
for they had landed at Halloween
now on deck weeps the Pirate Queen.
-A Halloween poem
written by Christopher
Thursday October 31st
2013
Haiku About Halloween Pumpkins
Carving large pumpkins
turning these gourds into ghosts
Happy Halloween!
Haiku About Saint Crispin’s Day
It’s Saint Crispin’s Day
King Hal leads at Agincourt
men those happy few
Haiku For My Friend Sherrie And Her Oak Tree
The great mighty Thor
stands at friend Sherrie’s oak tree
asking Where’s Odin?
Haiku About Walking Through A Park In The Fog
Haiku About Walking Through A Park In The Fog
A fog filled park
I expect Hamlet’s dad’s ghost
to rise from the mist
Haiku About A Foggy Mist-Filled Evening In Vancouver
Fog grasps the city
embracing like tale shrouded
in dark mystery
The Wreck of the Armstrong Custer
The Wreck of The Armstrong Custer
It was a ship whose name most ship captains often laughed to scorn
named by an oil executive whose ancestor died at Little Big Horn.
This ship often sailed into Vancouver’s port
a tanker they called the Floating Fort.
This tanker carried oil to China and Hong Kong
where it sold for billions not a pittance of a song.
While in port absorbing oil from a pipeline
the captain went for a walk in autumn sunshine.
Through trails and trees he walked
while squirrels frolicked and seagulls squawked
and there in the clearing he stumbled upon a totem pole
where thunderbird rose with the sky as his goal.
The captain looked at the ancient artifact
while removing a cigarette from its pack
he lit a light with his match
and from his fingers did dispatch
without bothering to put it out
soon fire covered the ground about.
The totem pole burned to the ground
and thunderbird perished without sound.
The captain walked on without a care
only ancient spirits did despair.
Days later out on the high seas of the Pacific Ocean
the tanker Custer was tossed to and fro with great commotion
and swooping down from the skies
with great ferocious cries
a huge black bird with vast wing span
picked the ship up like a girl with a fan
and soared into the heavens like a bat out of Hell
and from its beak dropped the ship into the ocean swell.
That was the end of the Armstrong Custer
a ship whose end came without much bluster.
When other ships came upon the wreck
there with his feet nailed to the deck
was the captain now skull and bones
having come face to face with Davy Jones
he had entered that gentleman’s locker without much stealth
in his hands clutched a pack that said
Cigarettes are hazardous to your health.
-A narrative poem
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 15th
2013
Haiku About Actor Vincent Price
Mister Vincent Price
a voice so soft and mellow
bespeaks such terror
Haiku About Canadian Thanksgiving Weekend
It is Thanksgiving
eat pumpkin stuffing gravy
don’t be a turkey
Dracul Van Helsing 
Is The U.S. Spying On German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s Mobile Phone?
October 23, 2013 at 8:11 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (Angela Merkel, electronic eavesdropping, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Germany, International Espionage, International Relations, Michelle Obama, Renfield R. Renfield, Russia, Russian President Vladimir Putin, Spying On Angela Merkel's Mobile Phone, Spying On German Chancellor's Mobile Phone, U.S., U.S. Spying, vampire novel, Vampire Set, White House spokesman Jay Carney)
Is The U. S. Spying On German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s Mobile Phone?
“The United States is not monitoring and will not monitor the communications of the Chancellor,” White House spokesman Jay Carney told the media assembled in the White House briefing room.
. . .
“That’s very true,” Renfield R. Renfield said as he looked at the TV screen.
The shapeshifting hamster/human chief of security for the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set suddenly noticed a red button light up in the computer monitoring room he was in at Set’s colossal West London mansion.
“Ah, another call coming in,” Renfield smiled.
Renfield put on his headphones.
It was Russian President Vladimir Putin phoning the German Chancellor asking on behalf of the Kremlin chef if he could have Mrs. Merkel’s personal recipe for homemade German sausages and sauerkraut.
Mrs. Merkel gave the Russian President the recipe.
When the conversation ended, Renfield stopped the recording.
Since he could not speak German himself, Renfield phoned a lusty, sexy and voluptuous blonde German dominatrix he often visited whenever he was in Berlin.
Renfield played the recording for Helga.
Helga translated.
Renfield wrote everything down.
He then phoned the NSA (U.S. National Security Agency) in Washington D.C. and passed on the pertinent information.
“It’s fun being a freelancer now and again,” Renfield smiled as he looked at his cheque from the U.S. government.
He better hurry out and cash it down at the bank just on the off-chance that the U.S. Congress might do something extraordinarily stupid in the next 24 hours and send the American economy into a tailspin and dry up U.S. government revenues.
. . .
America’s First Lady Michelle Obama was on the phone talking to the White House chef making final arrangements for a special upcoming dinner at the White House.
“Oh and one more thing,” Mrs. Obama looked at the piece of paper in front of her, “I just got this new recipe for homemade German sausages and sauerkraut…”
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 23rd
2013
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