Pan Goatee’s VISA Commercial

October 9, 2013 at 10:24 pm (Commentary, Satire, TV Commercials, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Pan Goatee’s VISA Commercial

Genetically created half-man half-goat satyr Pan Goatee was now doing TV commercials for VISA.

“Hello,” Pan Goatee was shown suntanning on a sun chair on a tropical beach holding a lime margarita with a cute little umbrella in it,  “sometimes you never know when your life is going to change. Earlier this year I was a serial killer wanted by Scotland Yard, Interpol and Europol for all the murders I committed across Britain and Europe.  Today I work as a hired assassin for the U. S. government.”

Pan Goatee takes a sip of his Margarita and grins at the camera.

“I find that my ability to astral project is quite handy in my line of work,” Pan Goatee finishes his Margarita,  “but one thing I found to be a pain in the butt is not every credit card has the ability to astral project with me.  So that’s why I always take VISA.”

Pan Goatee smiles as he holds up a VISA Gold credit card with his name PAN GOATEE written on it.

Voice of actor Morgan Freeman at the end of the commercial,  “Wherever you have to go in the universe, always go with VISA.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
  written by Christopher
  Wednesday October 9th

Permalink Leave a Comment

Haiku About Autumn’s Fleeting Glory

October 6, 2013 at 6:57 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , , )

The leaves on the trees

they turn to beautiful gold

only to fall down

Permalink 4 Comments

Haiku About Hockey Night In Canada’s Don Cherry On CBC

October 5, 2013 at 6:30 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

Hockey’s Don Cherry

psychedelic suits and ties

but he knows the score

Permalink Leave a Comment

Pan Goatee Living The High Life

October 1, 2013 at 7:31 pm (Commentary, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee Living The High Life



Pan Goatee was living the high life in a penthouse apartment in Washington D. C.


Two months ago he had been detained by Egyptian customs authorities in Cairo for not having a valid visa.


So he took out his astral machete and killed them all.


Hearing of this, DARPA employee Jack Jarvis who had been assigned to track down the astral projecting serial killer immediately flew to Egypt.


Finding Pan Goatee atop the Great Pyramid where he was asking “Where’s the Capstone?”, Jarvis asked him to come work for the U.S. government as a hired assassin carrying out targeted killings on behalf of dear old Uncle Sam.


Pan Goatee agreed.


So now here he was living the high life living in a penthouse apartment with a great view of the Potomac and being paid an obscenely luxurious salary carrying out targeted killings and assassinations for the  U.S. government.


Even better he was still being paid that salary despite the  U. S. government shutdown that had occurred today since being a hired assassin astral projecting killer was deemed an essential service by the government.



To be continued.





-A vampire novel chapter

 written by Christopher

  Tuesday October 1st 2013


Permalink Leave a Comment

« Previous page