Mobsters Like Lobsters

December 9, 2013 at 8:13 pm (Humour, Poetry) (, , , , , , , )

Mobsters Like Lobsters

Mobsters like lobsters
was what Joe read on the card
handed him by a fortune telling Bard.

“Thanks,” he paid the gypsy and left
before his watch became an object of theft
Joe wanted to know the best way to kill a mobster
and now he learned it was through lobster.

Joe had a beef with Big Mickey Spallone
who helped himself to his girlfriend at home
Trouble was Spallone was a mobster boss
And getting to him was like using gum for floss
your dentist wouldn’t recommend it
And neither would your feet in the cement grip
as you hit the East River
with a splash and a shiver.

So find out where Spallone eats
and poison his dish of culinary treats.

This was during the Prohibition era
when female lushes ruined their mascara
crying for their beloved booze
and damning those who held Temperance views.
They would bat their lashes
and keep moonshine in stashes.

Now Big Mickey Spallone- he ran a Speakeasy
where people went if lack of booze made them queasy
he ate at Macelli’s across the street
he didn’t have to walk far on his feet.

And so into Macelli’s kitchen Joe went
bribing the cook with a dollar and cent
for prices were low in those days
and Broadway had many good plays.

Sure enough Big Mick had ordered the lobster
sighed the cook, “So typical of a mobster.”
Joe added hemlock for the seasoning
based on a premise of Socratic reasoning
and the dish was presented to Big Mick
who downed the lobster very quick
in a display that made patrons sick
when Joe appeared and confessed his trick,
Big Mick’s last words were, “Damn you, prick.”

-A narrative poem
written by Christopher
Monday December 9th



  1. Meka said,

    Enjoyable! Very creative. Thanks for sharing

  2. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    Mickey “Spallone”…I love it! 🙂
    Very fun creative poem! 🙂
    I find rhyming poems difficult to write…you do it with such ease! 🙂
    HUGS!!! 🙂
    PS…I just started watching a new TV series about the days of Mickey Cohen and Bugsy Siegel.
    PPS….I love lobster but I rarely get any.

  3. draculvanhelsing said,

    Thanks. 🙂

    That would be an interesting series about Mickey Cohen and Bugsy Siegel. That was quite a fascinating era… the days of gangsters and mobsters and prohibition.

    I love lobsters too. 🙂

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