Amadeus Receives A Phone Call From Renfield

February 21, 2014 at 8:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Amadeus Receives A Phone Call From Renfield

Amadeus Emanon was sitting in the study of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion.

The phone rang.

Amadeus picked it up.

It was Renfield calling from a jail in Paris as a French version of the old Elvis Presley song Jailhouse Rock played in the background.

“Amadeus,” said Renfield, “you know how to operate my iMac desktop don’t you?”.

“Yes,” Amadeus went over to Renfield’s desk in the study.

“Turn it on and go over to Photos in my desktop screen, ” Renfield said, “and type in search the keyword PoodleKraut.”

Amadeus did as Renfield requested.

“Okay open up all those photos that are under that heading,” Renfield directed.

Amadeus did so.

He then gasped.

“Okay,” Renfield’s smile seemed to come through his phone voice, “you should now be looking at a bunch of highly compromising and very embarrassing photos of French President Francois Hollande in various unusual positions with German Chancellor Angela Merkel amidst much French champagne and German Wiener Schnitzel on a bed in a mirror ceilinged bedroom.”

“I see them,” Amadeus said as his long-lasting childhood innocence was rapidly coming to a close by gazing at these photos.

“Okay, now I want you to email those photos to French President Francois Hollande’s personal email address,” Renfield gave him the address, “with the written instructions that unless he President Hollande grants an immediate Presidential pardon to one Renfield R. Renfield of the United Kingdom and has him released from jail immediately, those photos will be emailed to every newspaper in France within the next 24 hours. Got all that?”.

“Yes,” said Amadeus.

“Then do it,” Renfield ordered.

Amadeus said he would. He then put down the phone and went to the washroom where he lost his lunch (a direct result of viewing those photos) before proceeding with Renfield’s instructions.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 21st
2014.

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