Renfield Leaves Paris

February 26, 2014 at 7:02 pm (Humour, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Leaves Paris

Renfield R. Renfield had a whirlwind past few days.

Last Saturday, Renfield had received a Presidential pardon from French President Francois Hollande for a crime he had committed.

The crime was cutting off a man’s ear.

The man it turned out was the most unpopular judge on the Parisienne Idol talent show.

Every singer that was first on his list was always last on every other judge’s list.

And every singer in last place on his list was always first on every other judge’s list.

So when Renfield was released from jail last Saturday, he received loud cheers and a hero’s welcome from crowds waiting outside the jail.

He was given free accommodation at the Westin Paris Vendome Hotel.

On Sunday, he was presented with keys to the City by the Mayor of Paris.

On Monday, members of the French National Assembly passed a motion that Renfield be awarded the French Legion of Honour Medal.

On Monday evening, the judge wearing a bandage on one side of his head gave results on the show that this time were about half-way in line with the thinking of the audience and the other judges.

On Tuesday evening, Renfield enjoyed an All Expenses Paid evening at the Paris Opera House.

When he returned to his hotel, a beautiful young woman from Normandy whom he had met once before (under less auspicious circumstances) was standing there dressed in Parisienne lingerie and black silk nylon stockings and black spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes and carrying a Geiger counter.

She offered to sleep with him.

Renfield took her up on her offer.

Today Wednesday February 26th as he boarded the plane to return home to London, he received a military band send-off and a 21 gun salute from the French Army.

Renfield waved and blew kisses to the crowd before boarding the plane.

. . .

As Amadeus Emanon and Athelstan the butler and valet to billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set watched this whole spectacle unfold on BBC World News on television, Athelstan remarked to Amadeus, “It would appear sir that Mr. Renfield is the type of individual who could fall down an outhouse and come up smelling like a rose.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 26th
2014.

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