Renfield and Amadeus In Rome

March 27, 2014 at 7:16 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield and Amadeus In Rome

“So what are we doing in Rome?” Amadeus asked Renfield as he bought a plate of spaghetti and meatballs from a Roman street spaghetti vendor.

“Thought I’d do a little catch up on my hobby of blackmail and extortion,” Renfield replied, “I find my other hobby of stamp collecting starts to get boring after a while. Plus licking the back of all those stamps starts to leave a nasty stain on the tongue.”

“Who are you trying to blackmail in Rome?” Amadeus asked as he spilled spaghetti all over his tuxedo.

“I hear there are some U. S. Secret Service agents who remained behind in one of the rooms of the Vatican after today’s meeting between President Obama and Pope Francis,” Renfield smiled and helped himself to a meatball off Amadeus’ bow tie, “so I thought I’d see what they were up to.”

“Didn’t 3 agents get sent home for drunken behavior in Amsterdam a few days ago?” Amadeus asked as he decided to open a pack of chop sticks to eat his spaghetti instead of using his hands.

“They did,” Renfield looked at the video of the non-blackmail paying Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan eating a barbeque pulled pork sandwich he was about to upload to YouTube oblivious to the fact that Turkey had just blocked its citizens’ access to YouTube, “and back in April 2012 twelve U.S. secret service agents were found guilty of gross misconduct for cavorting with prostitutes ahead of a summit in Cartagena Colombia that President Obama was attending.”

“I wonder how you get to be a U.S. Secret Service agent,” Amadeus mused out loud.

“They’re in this room here according to Google Maps and the G.P.S. signal I’m receiving,” Renfield burst through the door and started flashing pics with his iPhone.

“Oh shit,” the Secret Service agent cried out who was undergoing an enema treatment from an Italian courtesan dressed in a Renaissance evening gown.

In this orgy of U.S. Secret Servants and Italian courtesans were to be found the Greek Vampiress Aphrodite dancing in the nude and a bald-headed and extremely obese dwarf (who was none other than the Greek Vampire Dionysus) pouring wine.

“God, I’ve captured in seconds what would have probably taken Michelangelo years to paint,” Renfield cackled above the moans and groans of secret service agent and courtesan alike.

“I suppose you’re referring to Michelangelo the Renaissance sculptor and painter and not the Boss’ genetically created psychic lobster,” Amadeus helped himself to some of Aphrodite’s oysters.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 27th
2014.

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