The Pumpkin Patch Chainsaw Massacre
The Pumpkin Patch Chainsaw Massacre
Nighttime falls
your skin crawls
because you’re in the Halloween Pumpkin Patch
with the date you fancied quite a catch
This is the 13th year of the Trembleton Farms Big Scary Event
you were so excited your dad’s car now has a dent
but you’ll worry about that after midnight
when werewolves howl and vampires bite
but for now you’ll enjoy the scary fun
as you chew on your hamburger bun
Ghosts and ghouls and witches too
jump from behind these gourds shouting boo
you jump and scream
your girl holds you like a dream
and then you notice a little trodden path
so you say to your better half
“Let’s go down here!”
She says, “Really dear?”
so you grab her hand
and say, “It’ll be grand!”.
And down and down you go
What lurks there… friend or foe?
It’s pretty dark
this walk in the park
what’s that you hear?
A noise so queer
Sounds like a chainsaw
cutting pumpkins raw
your knees start to shake
and your belly turns to fear
you look to the ground
and see a severed ear
What the Hell is going on?
Body parts strewn across the lawn
you’re still holding your girlfriend’s hand
in this field of bloodied sand
but then you discover that is all
and then your skin really starts to crawl
where’s the rest of her?
then you see the best of her.
Her lovely head sits astride a pole
her eyes have that fiery glow
you open your mouth to scream
your own head comes apart at the seam
but look on the bright side
as your head rolls on the bloodied tide
your father won’t kill you for the dent when you get home
as your tortured spirit seeks a place to roam.
– A Halloween poem
written by Christopher
Saturday October 18th
2014.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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