Renfield’s Messenger Birds and Vladimir Putin’s Sword

November 10, 2014 at 8:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s Messenger Birds and Vladimir Putin’s Sword

Amadeus Emanon was now back home from hospital.

He was in the garden of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London estate watching Renfield R. Renfield talking to a pigeon by a statue of the great ancient Egyptian scientist Imhotep.

“What are you doing?” Amadeus asked as he quietly chewed a piece of black licorice.

“I’m bringing back the lost art of carrier pigeons,” Renfield said, “Back during the Second World War, carrier pigeons were often used to deliver messages. Now in this age of smart phones and tablets, people seemed to have forgotten nature’s messengers and our fine feathered friends.”

“I wonder what opinion Imhotep would hold about nature’s messengers and our fine feathered friends,” Amadeus asked as he watched the outburst of abstract expressionism bursting forth from the pigeon as he decorated the head of Imhotep.

“I have no idea,” Renfield shrugged.

A cockatoo suddenly flew down and landed on the head of the carrier pigeon.

“That’s weird,” Amadeus said as he watched the spectacle.

“I’ve trained these two to work together,” Renfield grinned, “in the old days written messages were attached to one of the legs of the carrier pigeon. Now instead the cockatoo learns an oral message and then the two are sent off together. The cockatoo rides as a passenger on the head of the carrier pigeon. When the two reach the intended recipient of the message, the cockatoo disembarks off the head of the pigeon and the cockatoo orally recites the message.”

“Amazing,” Amadeus remarked sarcastically.

Renfield not noticing the sarcasm replied, “Even I can’t help being impressed by my own genius.”

“So have you got any clients lined up for your carrier pigeon/cockatoo express messenger service?” Amadeus asked as he put on dark sunglasses and lay back on his hammock as he remembered a lesson from the Book of Tobit.

“As a matter of fact I do,” Renfield grinned.

“You do?” Amadeus raised his head in surprise from the hammock.

“Yes,” Renfield smiled like the cat who ate the canary causing a canary in a nearby tree to fly away in haste, “you’ll never guess who it is.”

“Who is it?” asked Amadeus who was too lazy to guess.

“British Prime Minister David Cameron,” Renfield beamed like the beam in a Pharisee’s eye.

Exclaimed a thoroughly surprised Amadeus, “Holy shit!”.

Imhotep’s head would not have agreed with Amadeus’ opinion.

“And who is the intended recipient of David Cameron’s message?” Amadeus asked.

Renfield grinned again.

. . .

European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker was in his office in the European Commission Building in Brussels.

An aide-de-camp was in the room with him.

Suddenly both men heard a “tapping, as of some one gently rapping, rapping” at the window pane.

“Who is it?” Jean-Claude Juncker asked.

“A pigeon with a cockatoo on its head,” the aide-de-camp replied as he looked out the window, “Only this and nothing more.”

“Better let them in,” said Juncker.

The aide-de-camp opened the window and the pigeon with the cockatoo on its head flew into the room.

The pigeon sat on a bust of Pallas Athena while the cockatoo flew over to the desk of Jean-Claude Juncker and squawked, “Message for you from the Prime Minister of Britain. Message for you from the Prime Minister of Britain. Gawk!”.

“Oh yes,” Juncker scratched his chin, “and what is Mr. Cameron’s message for me?”.

The pigeon flew off the bust of Pallas Athena and on to the head of Jean-Claude Juncker.

It then let out an outburst of abstract expressionism as it had done so many times on the head of the statue of Imhotep in the garden of the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin was in his office in the Kremlin.

He was examining a sword on his desk.

The sword belonged to an FSB agent who was found dead in his Moscow apartment a week ago.

The FSB suspected that the man was probably murdered by Western intelligence agencies.

This new Cold War was really starting to heat up Vladimir Putin thought to himself as he picked up his knife and fork and proceeded to make mincemeat out of the Ukrainian sausage on the plate in front of him.

A curator specializing in near eastern and oriental antiquities at one of the Kremlin museums had examined the sword.

He had determined that the sword belonged to the Ottoman Turkish Sultan Mehmed II (known to history as Mehmed The Conqueror) and indeed, according to the curator, this was the very sword he held in his hands when he conquered the Byzantine capital of Constantinople in 1453 at the age of 21 and ended the Byzantine empire.

After the city fell, when Mehmed II stepped into the ruins of the Palace of the Caesars that had been built over a thousand years before by the Emperor Theodosius II, he spoke these words,

“The spider weaves the curtains in the palace of the Caesars,
The owl calls the watches in the towers of Afrasiab.”

As Putin examined the sword, he happened to notice a spider crawling up one of the curtains in his office.

Outside his office window, an owl hooted a cry from one of the Kremlin towers.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
during the time period
Friday November 7th
to
Monday November 10th
2014.

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