Renfield’s Idea For The Return of Dr. Cadbury Rocher

December 31, 2014 at 5:23 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Espionage, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s Idea For The Return of Dr. Cadbury Rocher

Renfield angrily threw down his copy of The U.S. Senate Report on CIA Torture In Interrogations that he had just finished reading.

“What a bunch of wimps, wusses, pussies and pansies the CIA actually are,” Renfield remarked, “it’s a wonder they found out any information at all using such namby pamby methods.”

“No wonder they eventually brought you in as a consultant for you to show them how it’s done,” Amadeus commented without looking up from the book he was reading.

“That’s very true,” Renfield grinned.

Amadeus yawned.

“I of course expect to be knighted by the Queen for my efforts in battling Islamist terrorism this year,” Renfield stuck his chest out.

“Well don’t hold your breath,” Amadeus flipped a page, “otherwise you’ll die for lack of oxygen.”

“The boss is still ticked about his top scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher now working for his archenemy and rival Isis,” Renfield decided to change the subject.

“No, Set Enterprises hasn’t been the same without Dr. Rocher,” Amadeus agreed.

“Of course what brought about the rift was the $2 billion that was slashed from Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s laboratory research budget,” Renfield noted.

“That’s right,” Amadeus helped himself to a stick of black licorice.

“But as you know I recently sold the cyborg Sophia back to Vladimir Putin (which he gave me as a gift a few years ago) for the handy sum of $7 billion U.S. thus making myself a nice $7 billion profit,” Renfield smiled.

“Yes, you’ve endlessly droned on about it for almost the past month,” Amadeus flipped another page of his book.

“Anyhow,” Renfield went on, ” in order to make the boss happy, I’ve decided to give $2 billion of that to the Set Enterprises laboratories’ research budget in order to make Dr. Cadbury Rocher happy and bring him back to work for the Boss again.”

“Your generosity exceeds that of the redeemed Ebenezer Scrooge,” Amadeus took a sip of his eggnog.

Renfield, totally obvious to the fact that Amadeus had discovered the art of sarcasm a few months ago, replied with a wide grin, “I know. Dr. Cadbury Rocher won’t be able to refuse my $2 billion offer. As Ron Jeremy once said, ‘Walk softly and carry a big stick’.”

“That wasn’t Ron Jeremy,” Amadeus looked up from his book on Lives Of The U.S. Presidents, “that was Teddy Roosevelt.”

“Teddy Roosevelt was a porn star?” Renfield sounded genuinely shocked.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 22nd
2014.

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4 Comments

  1. sherrieonthoughtsjournal said,

    Teddy a porn star? Oh! Just know about this now. hahahaha … With all the namby pamby methods. Really great. hahahaha …

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      That’s right, Renfield thinks that Teddy is a porn star. LOL !

      And yes CIA methods would definitely be considered namby pamby methods to the methods Renfield would use.

  2. sherrieonthoughtsjournal said,

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