Renfield Meets Dr. Cadbury Rocher In Paris

January 8, 2015 at 7:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Renfield Meets Dr. Cadbury Rocher In Paris

Dr. Cadbury Rocher looked at the huge pile of bodies piling up in front of the Parisienne cafe in which he was sitting.

As they completely blocked his view to the window, he was about to ask for his cheque and leave when suddenly Renfield R. Renfield entered the cafe carrying a machine gun.

“Sorry, I took so long,” Renfield apologized, “but I had to shoot my way through a bunch of Islamist terrorists to get here.”

“Are they the ones whose bodies are piled up out there? Dr. Rocher asked.

“Yes,” Renfield wiped all the blood off his machine gun with his table napkin, “the Paris sanitation workers should be along any minute now to take away the trash unless they’re on strike again because they figure they’re still not getting a long enough coffee break to enjoy their cheese and croissant sandwiches.”

“May I get you something, Monsieur?” The waiter asked Renfield.

“Well, I already banged Julie Gayet for breakfast in my hotel room while I was on the speaker phone with Francois Hollande this morning,” Renfield tied the bloodied napkin around his neck as a bib, “so now I’ll have the toasted tuna fish and cheese sandwich.”

Renfield then discussed old times with Dr. Rocher- like creating gooey green coloured flesh-eating nanobots and then letting them loose in the bedroom of the Prince of Wales the night before he was scheduled to give a speech to a scientific conference on the threat posed to humanity by “gray gooey flesh-eating nanobots”.

“So what have you been up to these days?” Dr. Rocher asked Renfield.

“Well I just wrote a letter to Her Majesty the Queen noting that she forgot to add my name to her roll of knighthoods in her New Year’s Honours list for this year,” Renfield blew his nose into the table cloth because his napkin bib was no longer the proper colour for nose blowing in his opinion, “but I expect that situation to be rectified in the next few weeks.”

The waiter arrived with Renfield’s tuna fish and cheese sandwich.

“Excuse me,” Renfield called out after the waiter, “I asked for my tuna fish sandwich toasted not burnt.”

Renfield pulled out his machine gun and blew the waiter away to kingdom come.

The impact sent the waiter flying through the window out into the street where the Paris sanitation workers had just finished throwing the last of the Islamist terrorists’ bodies into the sanitation truck (which would have been called a garbage truck in America).

“Another one, Henri,” one of the sanitation workers called out to his partner.

“Not now, Andre,” his partner looked at his watch, “coffee break time.”

Both men sat on a street bench and took out their lunch pails which they opened and brought out bottles of cognac and several plates of cheese and croissants which they ate.

Two hours later when Renfield had talked Dr. Cadbury Rocher into returning to work for the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian Vampire Set and the pair had then left the cafe, both sanitation workers were still sitting on the street bench eating and drinking while groups of vultures had flown down from the skies and were now feeding on the bodies in the sanitation truck and the waiter’s body still lying on the street.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 8th
2015.

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3 Comments

  1. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    hahahaha Oh, dear, Chris! I had a good laugh at this one. The part Renfield just blew away the waiter and the sanitation workers does not care and have their coffee break first. This is great!

    You know Monty Python should make a comedy on this one with Rendfield and his goeey flesh eater nanobots. That is awesome. 🙂

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Thanks Sherrie. 🙂

      Yes, I thought I’d start the New Year off on my vampire novel on a humourous note.

      Yes, Monty Python would do an excellent job filming the scene of Renfield and the gooey flesh eating robots with John Cleese playing the Prince of Wales and screaming, “Camilla! Camilla! Get the fly swatter and the Raid insect repellant and hurry!”.

      • draculvanhelsing said,

        That should read ‘nanobots’ not robots. LOL !

        Cause robots are certainly a lot bigger than nanobots. LOL !

        And Camilla would need bigger weapons than a fly swatter and Raid.

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