Renfield Comes Up With Yet Another Idea For A TV Commercial

January 14, 2015 at 7:39 pm (Humour, Satire, TV Commercials, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Renfield Comes Up With Yet Another Idea For A TV Commercial

Renfield R. Renfield and Amadeus Emanon had spent the past couple of nights watching North American TV channels on their far-reaching super powerful satellite TV.

Tonight they were watching an NHL hockey game.

Voice of announcer: And now here come the Edmonton Oilers hockey players…

(A group of hockey players skate out on to the ice wearing paper bags over their heads)

Renfield remarked to Amadeus, “You know last night, I saw an American TV commercial I hadn’t seen before.”

“Oh, yes,” Amadeus reached for some popcorn.

“Yes,” Renfield went on, “it showed some woman holding on to a rope and rock climbing up a cliff. She suddenly turns her head, looks at the camera and says ‘It’s at moments like these, I’m glad I’m wearing Tampax Proactive’.”

Amadeus stopped reaching for a red licorice Twizzler and reached for a black licorice Twizzler instead.

“Anyways, if I had written and directed that commercial,” Renfield continued, “I would then have had the camera pan in on some guy holding on to the same rope and rock climbing up the cliff directly beneath her suddenly look up, then look at the camera and say, ‘Oh God!!! At moments like these, I’m glad she’s wearing Tampax Proactive too.’

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 14th



  1. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    hahahahaha … What the … Oh, Chris! Hillarious! LOL

    • draculvanhelsing said,


      Thanks, Sherrie!

      I first saw that commercial two nights ago- the one with the woman’s statement.

      And I thought- What the-?

      And the first thought that entered my mind was, what if some poor snook was rock climbing beneath her?

      What would he think if she suddenly came out with a statement like that?

      And so I did my own version of the commercial which I then had Renfield tell to Amadeus.

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