Dr. Hannibal Lecter Roast of Justin Bieber

April 1, 2015 at 6:59 pm (Celebrities, Commentary, Entertainment, Humour, Television, TV Shows, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Dr. Hannibal Lecter Roast of Justin Bieber

Renfield R. Renfield had been in a bad mood the past couple of days.

The mood started when Renfield had tuned in to the Comedy Network on satellite television from North America a couple of days ago to watch his favourite program on that network Frasier.

Frasier was a TV comedy show from the 1990s about a Seattle radio talk show psychiatrist who dispensed psychiatric advice on the airwaves.

Renfield found the show quite hilarious.

But the show Frasier had been pre-empted by that talk show hosted by that unfunny asshole Jimmy Kimmel- the show called Jimmy Kimmel Live (even though a far more satisfactory show would be one bearing the title Jimmy Kimmel Dead).

Renfield deduced that the entire night’s programming had been thrown into disarray by the Comedy Network hosting what it called The Roast of Justin Bieber that the Network had been monotonously yacking about in its commercials for the past month.

In the ads, it featured clips showing a bunch of losers that the intellectually challenged early 21st Century considered comedians telling a bunch of unfunny filthy mouthed insults about the planet’s biggest spoiled brat male celebrity.

So Renfield had been as mad as Howard Beale when the news anchorman found out he was losing his job in the 1976 Paddy Chayefsky satirical film Network.

He finally drifted off to sleep where he dreamed of watching a program called Dr. Hannibal Lecter’s Celebrity Roast of Justin Bieber.

Dr. Hannibal Lecter’s Celebrity Roast of Justin Bieber was pre-empting the program Jimmy Kimmel Live after the show’s host had been found dead in his dressing room killed by a hamster who was carrying a .44 Magnum.

On the show, Justin Bieber was screaming loudly (although his fans just thought he was singing a new song) as Dr. Hannibal Lecter poured gravy over his head while the blonde and heavily tattooed spoiled brat roasted away in a nice cozy steaming hot cauldron.

Dr. Lecter (putting on a pair of surgical gloves): And now it’s time to put the stuffing up this turkey’s rear end…

(Justin Bieber started screaming even more loudly)

Renfield smiled in his sleep.

He was enjoying this show thoroughly.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 1st


  1. Nicholas C. Rossis said,

    A Bieber fan, huh?

    I, too, would have preferred to watch Frasier…

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yes, I never did watch Frasier when it was first on TV in the ’90s but I’ve started watching when they started showing the program on the Comedy Network late at night.

      Bieber I’m embarrassed to say is a fellow Canadian.

      He was okay when he first started out as a kid singer but the last few years he’s turned into a juvenile delinquent.

  2. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    Oh, gosh … I never like Bieber … he is so … not sure how to say it. I always call him looking-like-a-baby-face? LOL hahahaha …

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