The Sun Dog That Ate A Hot Dog: A Poem

April 20, 2015 at 7:13 pm (Humour, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

The Sun Dog That Ate A Hot Dog: A Poem

Cornelius was leading a dog’s life
because he was free of kids and wife
He also happened to be a dog
one not mistaken for a bump on a log
a huge Saint Bernard
who escaped his master’s yard
and then headed off to the beach
lucky for him within reach.

What brought him to this date with destiny
aside from the outdoor trees looking thirsty
was listening to the spiel of a TV documentary
that spoke in language not elementary
“A sun dog is an atmospheric phenomenon that creates bright spots of light in the sky”
oh to listen to such drivel Corn thought he would die
“often on a luminous ring or halo on either side of the sun”
that does it, Corn thought, he’d really have to run
out the door he went
past the little pup tent
and over the fence he jumped in a flash
and then down to the beach he made a mad dash.

He’d be a sun dog himself having his day in the sun
and oh to be on the beach looked like such fun
he dashed into the water
as if he were seal or otter
where he made quite the splash
then from the surf he’d rise with a dash
and shake himself off on spectators left and right
such drying oneself off on passers-by led to a fight
but he didn’t stick around to referee
for no, he had a date with destiny.

For up the beach Cornelius did spot something grand
what turned out to be a hot dog stand
what the stranger held in his hands
on these sunny day beach sands
Wiener, mustard, relish and onion in a bun
Cornelius thought to self, You old son of a gun
He leapt in the air
like an acrobatic pair
and swallowed the hot dog at one take
causing the stand’s owner to shake and bake
He went beserk in the noon day sun
and that was the end of Cornelius’ fun.

The man called the animal pound
and Cornelius was wrestled to the ground
into the paddy wagon he was put
like a canine crook
that was all it took.

So ended Cornelius’ day in the sun
what a tale social networking sites spun
the sun dog that ate the hot dog
out of history’s mist and fog
a legend was born
so when you’re feeling forlorn
think of Cornelius some morn
and then realize with a tingle
this Noel Coward jingle
“Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noon day sun”
and at all times on the beach, hold on to your hot dog bun.

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday April 20th 2015.

18 Comments

  1. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    hahahaha … I shall never look at a hot dog the same again. I shall remember Cornelius all the day then. πŸ˜›

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Cornelius thanks you that you’ll remember him all day long.

      When contacted by a reporter for CNN, he said “That’s hot doggety!”.

      πŸ˜›

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        LOL And that is what exactly the new motto for Paris Hilton as well. She always say, “That’s hot!” “It’s hot!” “Hot!” … and the next … “Hot dog!” “That’s hot doggety!” hahahaha …. πŸ˜›

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Ah yes, Paris Hilton, one of the great intellectual lights of the first decade of the 21st Century.

      NOT!

      Paris was called the City of Lights until Paris Hilton.

      Because there is no lightbulb over the head of the Hilton in Paris.

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        hahahaha … Excellent how you put words on people or things. This will be your next move on your poem … About the Hot, hot, Paris Hilton with no light above the Hilton in Paris.

        And there was EXACTLY had happened not so long ago when One Night With Paris got no lights at all! LOL

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      And they shall point out how One Night With Paris caused Charles Dickens’ character of Sydney Carton to lose his head.

      And when the photo of that grisly event appeared on the front page of the New York Times, people said, “It was the best of Times. It was the worst of Times.”

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Indeed. LOL ! πŸ˜€

  2. Dracul Van Helsing said,

    Reblogged this on Dracul Van Helsing and commented:

    A humourous poem I wrote 5 years ago today.

  3. Jessica said,

    Oh my god, what am I gonna do with all the hotdogs in the fridge? What if I laugh while eating it? What if I choke! πŸ˜‚
    Poor Corn 😦 his dream turns out to be a nightmare…

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      All those hot dogs in the fridge eh? πŸ˜‚

      Corn will help you cut down on the number.🀣🀣

      • Jessica said,

        Hehehe that’s for sure πŸ˜‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I remember you had once impersonated Elvis in one of your videos by singing, “You ain’t nothing but a hot dog…” πŸŒ­πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      • Jessica said,

        Oh my god! I want to crawl in a hole! Please forget you ever saw that 😱 πŸ˜‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I found that hilariously funny actually. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      • Jessica said,

        πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚

  4. annieasksyou said,

    A very sad ending for me, Christopher. As you may know, I take my dogsβ€”corny or notβ€”very seriously.

    If you could figure out a way to collect a royalty for every time you mention Orson Welles and/or Noel Coward, you could visit your South Sea island whenever you chooseβ€”in your private plane.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I imagine Corny’s owner bailed him out of the dog pound.

      I notice a couple of readers were upset by Corny being taken away by the dog catcher.

      I’d have put in a post-script about Corny being bailed out had I known that to be the case.

      Yes, it would be nice to receive such royalties. πŸ˜€

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: