Renfield’s Quiet Evening At Home

April 27, 2015 at 7:28 pm (Commentary, Culture, Humour, News, Satire, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Renfield’s Quiet Evening At Home

Renfield R. Renfield was spending a quiet evening at home after a day of getting doors slammed in his face while out campaigning as a candidate for his British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party in the constituency of London Collingwood Hills.

Amadeus Emanon was sitting in a chair across from Renfield.

He was reading a book of puns written by Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

Amadeus read,

What did the magical wizard say after his first attempt to turn himself into a fish?

Answer: Oh no! I just made a total bass of myself.

As Amadeus chuckled, Renfield put on the radio.

Radio News Announcer: And in other news… a 76-year-old woman has been banned from a KFC in the U.S. for breast feeding her 42-year-old son in public there…

A protestor outside the site said earlier today, “I can’t believe people still eat here…”

“The world has gone insane,” said Renfield.

“Well if it has, you should do well in the upcoming election,” Amadeus remarked.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 27th


  1. Randstein said,

    That was great. I made a bass out of myself laughing all over my monitor.

  2. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    hahahaha … Hillarious!
    This remind me on the Game of Thrones Part One where Robin Arryn being breastfed by Lysa Tully. Not sure if you ever saw this on TV, but it was scandalous.

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      No unfortunately the channel that Game of Thrones is on in Canada- HBO (that stands for Home Box Office), one has to pay a lot of extra money to subscribe to.

      Hopefully this Lysa Tully is a lot hotter looking than some 76-year-old woman would be. 😀

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Oh, no, she is not! But it was a shocking moment even for me to watch this on TV. My husband spitting out his tea the night we watched this because that boy is like what 6 years old and it was odd to see a kid that age still sucking his mother’s breat. Although it was a fake breast, actually.

        But what a scandal it was! And then someone wrote something like … “Now you know that George Martin is a pervert!” I was like “OOOOOO …” laughing my ass out … People can so weird …

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      It sounds like quite the scene all right.

      I would have probably have been shocked if I saw that scene.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: