Persian Or Ottoman Wall-to-Wall Carpeting In Jerusalem?

May 31, 2015 at 7:15 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Persian Or Ottoman Wall-to-Wall Carpeting In Jerusalem?

U.S. President Barack Obama slept at his desk in the Oval Office while his teddy bear that he named Maxwell Smart Jr. whispered sweet nothings in his ear.

. . .

Meanwhile in the Iranian holy city of Qom, Nimrod the builder of the Tower of Babel (who had since been turned into a frog as a result of a vampiric kiss gone awry) whispered satanic somethings in the ear of the Ayatollah Ali Khamenei as Iran’s Supreme Leader slept.

. . .

As Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan strolled into his gold plated and mirror ceilinged bedroom, he was startled to see the beautiful and sexy ancient Babylonian Vampiress Lilith standing there in a very low-cut silk nightgown.

As he gazed at this vision, he secretly hoped that what an Islamic televangelist in Turkey (who was about as nutty as some of the so-called Christian televangelists in America) had recently said about Muslim men who masturbate excessively in this lifetime- that their hands would be eternally pregnant in the next lifetime- wasn’t true.

“I’ve come to offer you something,” Lilith approached him.

Erdogan smiled.

He just might be spared an evening that might have put his right hand in eternal maternal jeopardy.

Lilith reached under her nightgown and pulled out the crown of the Sultan of Constantinople- ruler of the Ottoman Empire.

“This I will give you,” Lilith smiled seductively, “if you will fall down and worship me.”

“I hope she’s not asking me to kiss her pussy,” Erdogan thought to himself as he heard a cat meowing from under the bed.

. . .

In Jerusalem, the Mossad agent they called the Controller of The Golem sat in his office reading disturbing reports about recent speeches given by Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

In a speech last week, Erdogan had called for the restoration of Ottoman rule over Jerusalem.

In a campaign speech yesterday as he campaigned on behalf of his Islamist party for next week’s Turkish parliamentary elections, Erdogan had called for the “conquering fires of Istanbul to again be lit across the world”.

Outside the Controller’s office could be heard the screeching of a night owl.

The Controller looked out his office window and noticed a raven attacking a dove within the light of a bright street lamp.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 31st
2015.

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6 Comments

  1. Nicholas C. Rossis said,

    “I hope sheโ€™s not asking me to kiss her pussy” – absolutely brilliant! ๐Ÿ˜€

    I’d missed that particular speech by our friend, Erdogan. Huh.

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Thanks very much, Nicholas. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Yes, Erdogan seems to be becoming more and more megalomaniacal with each passing day.

  2. Randstein said,

    I can’t wait to read more. The eternal maternal right hand of the botched Osman I reincarnate would surely seek Lilith’s cat for a little crown.

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yes, indeed it probably would- that eternal maternal right hand.

      LOL !

      The next chapter (that I just posted a few hours ago) deals with another right hand in a chapter I call The Return of The Black Hand. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Randstein said,

        I’ll be making my way over there as soon as time allows! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      That’s good. ๐Ÿ™‚

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