The Cyborg Octopus: A Poem

June 18, 2015 at 7:22 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, Mystery/horror, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , )

The Cyborg Octopus: A Poem

It was an octopus
with metallic hooks for tentacles
and could squeeze the life out of you
and puncture you at the same time
a stitch in time does not save nine
as it had killed 9 people today
as it slithered and made its way.

It had been an octopus once caught
in a net coldly fraught
cast by a mind
not hard to find
a mind thoroughly pragmatic and calculating
scientific progress at all cost was for him the thing
for him to achieve this, he’d stop at nothing.

He caught the octopus and went to the lab
for him beetles four were just not fab
he fed the radioactive Egyptian scarabs to the octopus
and let cosmic nature take its course for this.

The octopus became stronger
yes, not much longer
Then he filled the lab with temperatures cold
so this octopus would not be growing old
Then attached the robotic hooks to the tentacles
while silently laughed a god of pentacles.

And the dying from a fatal disease mad doctor then uploaded his consciousness into the beast
and then emerged from the tank prowling to see on whom he could feast.

Napoleon VI the talking cyborg octopus called himself
A name he chose having helped himself to bits of the Little Corporal’s brains on the shelf.

And so on this 200th Anniversary of Waterloo
the state of the human race will soon be through
As Napoleon VI rises from the depths of the very deep and encircles the globe
not having read the encyclical on Climate Change written by Rome’s bishop in white robe.

-A horror poem
written by Christopher
Thursday June 18th
2015 on
The 200th Anniversary
of Napoleon’s defeat
at the Battle of Waterloo.


  1. Nicholas C. Rossis said,

    “Release the Kraken!” a voice cried out in my head…

    Of course, once again the Economist was ahead of us:

    BTW, did you read Putin’s ex wife interview in Die Welt? She alleges that Putin was murdered while they were still together, a lookalike having taken its place since… Proof that reality can be stranger than fiction, I guess.

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Ah yes, Zeus’ famous cry in Clash of The Titans.

      Thanks for The Economist article.

      Yes despite the almost orgiastic hopes of Transhumanist scientists and the fears of Stephen Hawking, we’ve still got a long way to go before robots replace humans as masters of the world.

      I hadn’t heard about the Die Welt interview with Putin’s ex-wife.

      I wonder if what she says is true or she’s just been hitting the vodka a little too hard these days.

      If true, truth is indeed stranger than fiction.

      • Nicholas C. Rossis said,

        It’s true that she made the claim during her interview. But she’s had her problems in the past with the bottle and drugs. Then again, maybe that’s exactly why she’s still left alive to tell her tale…

    • draculvanhelsing said,


      I wonder what Vladimir Putin’s daughter has to say about all this.

  2. Tribo, OCarm said,

    the mad scientist-cum-tyrant… very dangerous combination…

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Indeed, Ritche my friend.

      C. S. Lewis’ late 1940s science-fiction novel That Hideous Strength seems to be quite prophetic in describing today’s times.

      That sinister organization known as the N.I.C.E. which really wasn’t so nice sounds like today’s Transhumanist Science Associations.

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Not under that name but it does exist.

      There are scientists out there who share the same worldview as N.I.C.E. scientists.

      DARPA in the United States has turned into a kind of American equivalent of the N.I.C.E. that Lewis saw arising in Britain.

      • Tribo, OCarm said,

        god things we thought could only be found in the imagination of great novelists… the next thing we know the MIB is true

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yes, Men In Black turn out to really exist in terms of UFO investigations.

      It’s strange about writers’ and poets’ imagination.

      For example I wrote the first stanza of this poem on the evening of Wednesday June 17th.

      Then I went home for my nightly swim in the pool.

      And writing that first stanza, I felt compelled to write 9 people were killed as the first victims of this deadly beast arising from the sea.

      When I came out of the pool and went to my room to watch the 11 PM News, I got the shock of my life when I heard 9 people were brutally murdered in a church in Charleston, South Carolina.

      I had no idea at the time I penned those words about 9 people being slain by this Beast from the depths that 9 people had in fact been slain that night in a House of Worship of God.

      I wrote the following stanzas the next day and since that Thursday June 18th was the 200th Anniversary of Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo, I decided to make the creature ingest some of Napoleon’s brains and DNA at the start of his campaign of global conquest.

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yes, I found that a really strange feeling.

  3. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    And yet again, this is a case for Agent Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. You must report to Director Skinner on this – he must get the Octopus. Oh, do not release the Kraken – it does not exist anymore. He was murdered by Perseus and Hades retired long ago too.

    Need some new heroes like Will Smith in IRobots perhaps, or Luke Evan as Dracula and some of those people from Game of Thrones with the dragons.

    That is one of a very dangerous Octopus and I thought he was the Kraken in Pirates of Carribean. All are Napoleon’s fault – he can never die, that man. Even Putin is a nocturnal-zombie. I do believe every word his wife said … Did you ever notice that Putin acting really weird recently? His movements are too stiff – yes, like a zombie – just that he is too white as a zombie. He need a tan or an overdose sunlight. Russia is hell too cold for him – unless if he is a vampire. Is he? … Hmmm …

    This one very weird poem on an octopus – a terrific story on a very distraught tentacle creature. I bet he is the older brother of Squidward Tentacles in Spongebob – a very gloomy and unhappy hairless creature. LOL

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yes, Agent Mulder and Agent Scully can discuss this case over a dish of calamari in a restaurant while Director Skinner enjoys some fried duck skin.

      Yes, Perseus rid the world of the Kraken and then Hades retired it.

      Now the Kraken lives on an Old Age and Social Security pension down in the Underworld.

      Of course that may go if the Greek government caves in to its international creditors on the matter of implementing pension cutbacks.

      Yes, Will Smith, Luke Evans as Dracula and Game of Thrones dragons could battle the Cyborg Octopus. Maybe Kermit the Frog and Ted the Teddy Bear could join in the fray too. 😀

      Yes, the Kraken in Pirates of The Caribbean was sort of my visual imagery inspiration for this Cyborg Octopus.

      No, Napoleon seems to be the Emperor that refuses to die.

      Oh well, at least that kept Josephine sexually satisfied.

      Which was a good thing because back in those times, mechanical vibrators hadn’t really been fully perfected as of yet.

      Yes, Putin seems to have really gone off the deep end and we’re not talking swimming pools here either.

      Is he a zombie?
      Is he a vampire?
      Does riding bareback make him perspire?
      Is he in heaven?
      Is he in Hell?
      That damned elusive Russian leader smell.

      Quite possibly the Angel of The Lord has put hooks (maybe metallic spiked tentacles) in his jaws and Putin is now possessed by the spirit of Gog the prince of Magog and he’s getting ready to launch an attack on the nation of Israel.

      And yes, maybe this Cyborg Octopus is Squidward Tentacles’ older brother. 😀 LOL !

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Putin is scarier than those Islamist muslim terrorist. Something about him is really cold and his silence kind of keep you on the edge of your seat somehow … You can never know what he has in mind.

        Speaking on Kraken, he must have been so fed up for being so misunderstood. And I believe he will going to candidate for the next president seat in the Congress with all of his Transhuman colleague – for sure. I bet Rendfield will be fill of joy to have such a political friend on his side who can help him in so many ways with his so famous tentacles! LOL

        Oh, metal vibrators! Ouch! Not a comfortable thing back then, I guess. Rubber has not been invented at that time. LOL Good for Josephine! She’s happy!

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yes, there’s something almost demonic about Putin.

      Yes, poor misunderstood Kraken.

      His tentacles took up eight couches in Sigmund Freud’s Vienna office as he unloaded his problems to the Father of Psychoanalysis.

      Freud was unable to detect an Oedipus complex but he was able to diagnose that the Kraken suffered from a condition known as Perseusphobia.

      Yes, Renfield needs all the hands he can get and the Kraken is able to provide 8 of them.

      Yes, Josephine was happy until Napoleon ditched her for an Austrian Hapsburg princess.

      It’s interesting that Josephine’s Haitian sister became the favourite concubine of the Ottoman Turkish Sultan.

      And the Sultan had been an ally to France at the start of the Napoleonic Wars.

      But when Napoleon dumped Josephine, that’s when the Sultan started turning against France.

      And Napoleon started slowly to lose the Napoleonic Wars.

      I’m sure there’s a lesson for husbands in that story somewhere. 😉

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        It is all about THAT ONE PARTICULAR WOMAN, isn’t it?
        It is always the cause of war started yet with a woman of which either one man so love too much, or two men.
        For the love of Guinevere, King Arthur and Lancelot raged in war against each other where people who are involved had the most heart wrenching battle ever for both sides love the two men. To kill in the name of love … That war was at lost – after a woman …

        Then the Trojan war, yes – the one most legendary love war of all just because of Helen of Troy. Yet again, another war happened …

        And then there was Marc Anthony & Julius Caesar who were in love in Cleopatra and love that only leads to war and tragic death towards the end. Cleopatra chosed to commit suicide and got herself bitten by one of the most poisonous snake! What a mess …

        And Samson lost his magical hair because of his blind love for Delilah .., Later, he killed everyone after his hair grew a little longer again …

        Weird stuff that starts war because for a love of a woman …

        Does Kraken has someone at all? It is (or he is) partly was born out of Hades, does he has anyone who loves him? Even the gods feared the Kraken.

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yes, that’s a very good question, Sherrie.

      Does the Kraken have anyone who loves him?

      Maybe that’s why he is so dangerous and why even the gods feared him.

      He has no one.

      He’s an oceanic Phantom of the Opera.

      A ten fathoms deep Erik.

      Looking for his Christine in the depths of the ocean.

      A Christine who’ll bring him daylight within the darkness of the deep.

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Indeed. 🙂

      Your comment and observation above there inspired me to write a new poem tonight.

      I decided to write not only about the Kraken being and feeling an unloved creature in mythology but I also wrote about another unloved creature from mythology- Medusa.

      The name of the poem is Medusa and The Cyborg Octopus. 🙂

  4. Medusa and The Cyborg Octopus: A Poem | Dracul Van Helsing said,

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