Medusa and The Cyborg Octopus: A Poem

June 24, 2015 at 8:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Medusa And The Cyborg Octopus

In his London lab
as he bandaged his scab
Dr. Cadbury Rocher had heard of the death of a friend
It seemed that Rome’s Dr. Poseidon Prometheus had met his end
or so the Italian tabloids claimed
of his death no one blamed
He just simply disappeared
but in Rome no one cheered
or for that matter even cried
over the fact he may have died.
For the Romans by nature are an apathetic lot
and they’re like this without even smoking pot.

Dr. Poseidon Prometheus had gone down to his lab on the Isle of Capri
there by the shores of the Tyrrhenian Sea
over a spot where Emperor Tiberius once practiced sodomy
His departing words, from a big bottle I’ll unleash the genie.

And then he was never heard from again
though truth be told, tentacles were coming from his rear end.
A large bottle with a ship inside was found floating near a nearby shore
and a brave Capri fisherman said, I’ll open this door.

He uncorked the top off the bottle
and found himself in a deadly throttle
for a Kraken had emerged from inside the ship
and with a hooked tentacle pierced the fisherman’s lip.

(For more on the origins of this Cyborg Octopus Kraken, please read


Then the talking cyborg octopus Kraken
found the hot Capri sun a trifle bakin’
and so he headed deeper out to sea
where cool ocean breeze caressed him tenderly.

O Isle of Capri!
So much history!
Ancient and modern!
Much is forgotten!

Napoleon conquered you in September 1806
But the British played an oceanic game of pick-up sticks
They ousted the French from you the following May
and no replaced non as an expression for nay!

The French reconquered Capri in 1808
and Napoleon’s ego became insufferably great
They remained there until 1815 when Napoleon met his Waterloo
and Bonaparte rule of Europe was finally through.

So on that Capri day there went out to sea
on a day that will be remembered in future history
the Kraken who called himself Napoleon the Sixth
a Kraken who had once been confined to the mists of myth.

Meanwhile Dr. Cadbury Rocher had in his lab Medusa’s body and head
A long lab table was now the lamented ex-Gorgon’s bed
She had been retrieved from her burial place by a metallic robot
who answered to the long forgotten Biblical name of Tobit
for you see robots do not turn to stone
plus they have a built-in smart phone
so Tobit found Medusa and brought her here to Dr. Rocher’s London lab
calling the doctor who left the restaurant leaving Renfield with the tab.

Rocher called in his robot he called Edward Scissorhands
named after the Johnny Depp character with scissors for hands
The robotic barber cut Medusa’s hair of snakes
plus removed from her scalp a few dandruff flakes

He added to the scalp Rocher’s Instant Hair Growth Formula
whose sale was scheduled for marketing in California
And lovely flowing red lockets appeared
Her body was reattached to her head once feared.

He then brought in a fashion designer from House of Chanel
because he thought Medusa should give up clothing from Hell
And the Chanel designer fitted her with a Phoenician purple dress
A Vidal Sassoon stylist made sure her hair wasn’t a mess.

And thus a new Medusa was born
one whose heart was no longer forlorn
For she was now a great raving beauty
no longer a feminazi whose face resembled her booty.

And then Rocher sailed the red haired slit skirted purple dress fair Medusa to Normandy’s shore
which was the start of Der Fuhrer Hitler’s downfall Churchill had swore.

And as the lovely Medusa stood there on the beach
she soon found hooked tentacles within her reach
but no harm would come to her
for the Kraken adored her
He had found true love at last
too bad his many arms had hooks of brass.

And so on this Nativity of Saint John The Baptist
Greek myth and Napoleon’s legacy met and kissed
for the Corsican name Napoleon
was Italian equivalent of Greek Apollyon
His name in the Hebrew tongue is Abaddon
infinitely more powerful than the genie of Aladdin.

-A narrative poem
and vampire novel
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 24th


  1. Nicholas C. Rossis said,

    Wow! So many references, it makes my head explode. Well done, sir! Very well done!

    I’m reminded of a small historical fact; Napoleon’s Josephine had grown up in a palace where the women would cross themselves in horror whenever Napoleon’s name was uttered. One can only imagine how thrilled she must have been to hear of her engagement…

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Thanks very much, Nicholas. 🙂

      That’s interesting about Josephine.

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Hi Nicholas,

      I think you probably get email notifications from WordPress don’t you when someone replies to your comments?

      I know I do.

      Anyhow below, I have posted a link for my friend Daniel to a vampire novel chapter I wrote back on December 21st 2012 about Dec. 21st 2012 when the world was supposed to end according to certain New Age interpretations of the end of the Mayan long count calendar.

      Anyhow I thought you’d probably enjoy reading it as well 🙂 so here’s the link:

      • Nicholas C. Rossis said,

        Lol – you know how I love your cultural references, but you’ve outdone yourself this time 😀

        And yes, I do 🙂

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Thanks very much, Nicholas. 🙂

      I thought you’d enjoy that one.

      • draculvanhelsing said,

        Just read the BBC News story on the Greek bank closures that they’re calling the Bank Holiday from Hell, Nicholas. 😦

        Maybe the New Agers not only got the date of the end of the world wrong but they’re off by 3 years.

        And they got the cause wrong.

        It wasn’t the return of Quetzalcoatl or Osiris that would bring it about but the advent of Alexis Tsipras.

  2. Tribo, OCarm said,

    whoa, it must have been pretty bloody when the hair of snakes was cut… a love story…

  3. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    Oh yessss … to think of a new and modern Medusa in a purple dress … I think she might turn Caithlyn into a stone! LOL
    According to legend, Medusa was once a very extremely beautiful woman with those long weavy golden hair and the most fairest. The gods had punished her for her love for Poseidon. And yet again … love that kills her … Poor Medusa …

    And poor Kraken … after he saw her, he got stoned!

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yes, poor Kraken.

      He turned to stone.

      He must enjoy this new modern Medusa who no longer has snake hair and curls dripping with venom.

      He’ll probably sing this time around that old Elvis Presley song,

      “Treat me nice, treat me good,
      treat me like you really should
      for I’m not made of wood
      and I don’t have a wooden heart.”

      And hopefully this time not a stone heart either. 🙂

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      LOL ! at your pun “… after he saw her, he got stoned!” 😀

    • draculvanhelsing said,


  4. moldydaisy said,

    This makes me incredibly happy … I was just complaining the other day that no one writes narrative poetry anymore!!

  5. Randstein said,

    It’s the purple dress and red hair that gets the job done. Enjoyed this a lot, what a gift you have, my friend. 🙂

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Thanks very much, Daniel. 🙂

      It was actually one of my Facebook friends Yaya Han who’s really into Cosplay that gave me the inspiration for this.

      A couple of days ago, she posted a pic of herself wearing a costume she had sewed and made that was a costume representing a Marvel comic books super heroine I had never heard of before who was called Medusa.

      In the pic, she was wearing a wig of long flowing curly red hair and a slit skirted Phoenician purple dress.

      Needless to say, I enjoyed this photo immensely.

      This Marvel comics heroine certainly looked a lot better than pictures I had seen of the Medusa of Greek mythology (I must say I’ve never found women who have snakes in their hair very attractive).

      So anyhow that pic of Yaya as the red haired slit skirted purple dress Medusa served as the inspiration for this story told in narrative poetic form.

      • Randstein said,

        What a great muse. Ms. Han sounds Korean

      • Randstein said,

        Whoops! Fumbled over the post button too soon. Anyway, I was saying Ms. Han sounded Korean. The surname Han is fairly common in Korea but the roots may likely be Chinese or any number of other places. I zeroed in on that because cosplay is marching out of Japan across the globe and I find it interesting because the cosplayers spare no expense or effort to get as close to the character as possible. It’s a circular path of art and life imitating each other. I had a collection of comics as a kid that outweighed me three times. I fully understand the devotion to a Marvel way of life 🙂 I say take lots of pictures.

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yaya is Chinese. 🙂

      I did know a Korean girl named Grace Han who was an organist at the Anglican Church my dad and I attended in Edmonton, Alberta.

      When she finished her music studies in Edmonton, she returned back home to Korea.

      I was sorry to see her go.

      But then another Korean music student replaced her.

      Her name was Hyun.

      I forget her last name.

      Then when she finished her music studies, she too went back home to Korea.

      I was sorry to see her go as well.

      And then some nerdy looking middle-aged guy with gray hair replaced the both of them.

      For some reason when he arrived, I never found myself looking in the direction of the organ during the service as much as I used to when these two lovely and beautiful Korean girls were the organists.

      Both girls served as inspiration for a vampire novel character I created called Hyung Grace Kwan who was a South Korean vampire huntress in my early days of writing my vampire novel (which has since turned into a vampire pentalogy).

      She was the girlfriend of a Canadian vampire hunter named Dracul Van Helsing (from whom I get the title of this blog).

      But then a great mystery happened.

      Hyung returned to South Korea and Dracul Van Helsing vanished off the face of the Earth after a Russian submarine vapourized the Egyptian Vampire Osiris’ spaceship into non-existence with a laser death ray when he attempted to return to Earth on December 21st 2012 (as predicted by the Mayan and Aztec calendars).

      Putin of course has become increasingly a demagogue ever since.

      Still not sure how I’ll return Dracul to the story.

      He seems to have taken a longer leave of absence than did Sherlock Holmes after he had wrestled with the evil Prof. Moriarty over that nasty set of waterfalls.

      Yes, I love it when women dress up in Cosplay.

      They look so incredibly sexy.

      • Randstein said,

        As fate would have it, I found Ms. Han is very active in cosplay and social media was very familiar with her. I even found the Purple dressed, red haired Medusa she sported and I must say, cosplay becomes her. Like many Asians, mastery is an artform in itself. I think I’ve become an adoring fan.

        All my church activities are with Korean churches and their attention to education and particularly, music ensures the piano or organ is always expertly employed during the services. The young adults and children learn to perform in front of audiences at church first, helping them learn to manage stage fright and nervous notes. Koreans are beautiful people to me although like everything else, there are negative aspects but they manage it all very well.

        The story sounds awesome, your muse is powerful indeed! Is it in print/ebook or on your website? I’m thinking I’m hooked already. 🙂

        I confess the Dragon Tales are also heavily influenced by my immersion in Asian culture. I wonder if some of the more nebulous activities in the Black Dragon society might be influenced by vampires. Now, I wonder if Putin might not also be a major player in one of the other Dragon societies. It could get interesting when they fight for control of the world. I’m thinking Ivan’s Orgasmatron will win the day. 🙂

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yes, that photo of Yaya is indeed most enjoyable.

      Perhaps a character dressed like that could walk into the diner and cause Little Dragon to have his first erection much to his mother Lee’s horror (since mothers always start talking about things like blindness when first realizing that their children are influenced by sexuality).

      Yes, I found Koreans to indeed be masterful musicians.

      As for my vampire novels, none have been published in book form yet.

      Here’s the link to my vampire novel chapter about December 21st 2012- the day the world was supposed to end according to certain New Age interpretations of the end of the Mayan long count calendar:

      Yes, I imagine there are various groups battling for control of the world.

      In my own vampire novel, the Egyptian vampire Set is battling Isis and Osiris who in turn are battling Quetzalcoatl and the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec for control of the world.

      You figure at the end of the day, Ivan’s orgasmatron will win eh?

      Well, Dionysus was probably the god in Greece who enjoyed the most popular cult following.

      As orgies and alcohol have always enjoyed great popularity for a large portion of humanity.

      • Randstein said,

        LOL! In many Asian cultures little boys can do no wrong and mothers generally do not discipline the male children. So LiL Dragon would probably run around the diner showing off his new friend to the blue collar clientele while Lee giggles in the store room. There is the possibility flatulence may come into play as well.

        I’m thinking with all these groups battling for control, the real winner might be the one that lets the other have it. I can just see the new world dictators face when he learns his debt is insurmountable and no one is interested in breaking away from their social media to make a buck at the labor camps.

        Enter the orgasmatron. It is nearly impossible to man a complicated weapon system and engage in meaningful ass whoopery in the middle of a sustained orgasm. With the integration of males and females into combat arms, the first time Ludmila lets go in the jet, her copilot is going to ruin the instrumentation trying to help her out. The other problem is the risk that so much buggery is going on, no one has time to focus on approaching battle formations.

        You bring up a very important fact. Once the world returns to Greek style management and oversight, Chaos will regain control of the universe again. What a lifestyle that will be 🙂

        Thanks for the link! I’ll be right over!

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Yes, you’re right.

      Chaos will again reign over the universe.

      And Maxwell Smart Agent 99’s last words to his boss before mounting the orgasmatron at Control headquarters in Washington D.C. will be, “Sorry about that, Chief.”

      And when his unfamiliarity with operating the Orgasmotron machine almost results in a near castration, his next set of words will be, “Missed it by that much.”

      • Randstein said,

        You are a visionary Chris! Max Smart is who I wanted to be when I grew up. Of course, when I screwed up it didn’t matter. Evidence of my near misses with the water pistol self corrected after a bit of time. I had a crush on 86. I liked smart and clever girls back in third grade. I could always count on them to have the right answers to the homework.

        Loved the Vampire Samurai piece. I must read through the whole thing. Captivating and entertaining work there. I think Ivan can put away the orgasmatron and just let the girls take care of business.

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      LOL !

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