Amadeus Meets Serena Williams

July 14, 2015 at 7:35 pm (News, Sports, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Amadeus Meets Serena Williams

Amadeus Emanon and Renfield R. Renfield were sitting in the lobby of an elegant 5-star London hotel.

Both men were wearing tuxedos and bow ties.

“So, what are we doing here?” Amadeus asked Renfield.

“Well,” Renfield mused, “it’s been a while since I’ve banged a celebrity. Do you remember years ago, I banged all 3 Kardashian sisters underneath a table in a McDonald’s in downtown Manhattan?.”

“Yes, I remember you got mad at me for eating your Filet o’ Fish and French fries while you were busy doing that,” Amadeus recalled.

“Anyways,” Renfield quickly returned to the subject at hand, “I’ve got a hankering to bang a celebrity again. And since this is the hotel where many celebrities seem to stay when they’re in London, I figure this is the best place to meet one.”

“And what am I supposed to do while you’re banging a celebrity? Amadeus asked.

“Well, I hear they serve an excellent tea and crumpets in the tea room here,” Renfield suggested.

“Whereabouts is the tea room?” Amadeus looked around.

“Oh, my gosh, I think that’s actress Gong Li,” Renfield noticed a beautiful woman wearing a green evening dress walk into the lobby.

He quickly followed her into the elevator and flashed Amadeus a V for victory sign as the elevator door closed.

Amadeus decided to head off to see if he could locate the tea room on his own.

As he walked down the hall, he suddenly noticed a beautiful woman wearing a white evening gown.

He recognized her as Serena Williams.

“Congratulations Miss Williams,” Amadeus bowed as she walked by, “on winning your sixth Wimbledon title and your 21st Grand Slam title.”

“Well,” Serena smiled, “aren’t you the perfect gentleman. And what’s your name, my good man?”.

“Amadeus Emanon,” he bowed again.

“Is that French?” Serena asked.

“Emanon is French,” Amadeus replied, “Amadeus is Latin.”

“I see, Mr. Amadeus Emanon,” Serena smiled again, “and what do you do for a living?”.

“I’m a concert pianist,” Amadeus answered.

“I see,” Serena was quite taken with the shy, quiet, unassuming gentleman,”how would you like to come up to my room and we can make music together?”.

“Do you have a piano in your room?” Amadeus asked.

Serena laughed, “Oh no. But we can find other ways to make music.”

“Well,” Amadeus reflected, “I’ve only recently begun learning how to play both the harp and the piccolo.”

Serena took hold of his hand and led him into the elevator with her.

. . .

Renfield sat in the lobby of the hotel sporting one huge black eye and wondered where the Hell Amadeus had gotten to.

He wasn’t in the tea room having tea and crumpets like he was supposed to be doing.

Renfield rubbed his black eye and wondered whether the hotel kitchen might not have some frozen steaks he could put on it.

His encounter with Gong Li had not been successful.

He had discovered that Gong Li’s martial arts skills weren’t just acting.

It was a good thing for Renfield that he had recently learned the words to the Chinese National Anthem in both Mandarin and Cantonese.

Otherwise his nuts might have been totally crushed beyond all hope of repair.

Amadeus came out of one of the hotel elevators with a huge smile on his face.

Renfield stood up to greet him.

“Where have you been?” Renfield demanded to know.

“I’ve been learning a new form of music,” Amadeus smiled, “one I’ve never experienced before.”

“Is that lipstick on your collar?” Renfield asked.

“Why yes, I guess it is,” Amadeus looked down.

“Say that woman who got out of the elevator with you,” Renfield pointed in the direction of a woman in a white evening gown going through the hotel’s revolving door, “wasn’t that Serena Williams?”.

“Yes, it was,” Amadeus sighed.

“She looked positively glowing,” Renfield remarked, “she must still be really happy over her sixth Wimbledon win.”

“She might also have other things to glow about as well,” Amadeus remarked whose own face was glowing about as red as Michelangelo the psychic lobster when he had undergone an extra dose of radiation down at the Set Enterprises lab.

Renfield looked at Amadeus’ glowing face and then looked at Serena Williams’ glowing face as she entered a taxi.

“Oh, my God,” Renfield sat back on the hotel lobby sofa in a total state of shock.

Amadeus just smiled.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 14th



  1. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    Wah ahahahahaha ….. Poor Renfield! He had lost his charm as a supernatural playboy? And Amadeus got the girl. Selena got really a big booty to make him glowing that way. With full blow of radiation! Of course! hahahahaha …

  2. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    I don’t really like this new changes in WP. Well, to some people maybe …
    I got to click twice to get at you side because I do not like the first Reader appearance for the screen is wayyyyy to bright for my eyes. I like it the way before with the small window appear in the mid of page. Just nice and neat …. 😛

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      I suppose that’s the good thing about still having an old fashioned iPhone 4S.

      None of these changes that everyone is complaining about here at WP show up on my iPhone 4S.

      I was in a restaurant a few nights ago and the guy sitting next to me told me, “You still have an iPhone 4? That’s the best iPhone Apple ever made. I wish I’d kept mine. The iPhone 5 and iPhone 6 are pure crap.”

      I suppose post-2012 smart phones were all made with Kraken pee.

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        I don’t have iPhone 4 but I have iPhone 5, so I cannot really compare. It is okay, though. I had a second one – Windows Phone Nokia Lumia 930 and I guess, this is the best smart phone I ever had. I am satisfied with it.

        I also did not recognized the changes until I was on my desktop. I do not like the look of it, really. But perhaps some other like it. 😛

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      I suppose people who’ve eaten too many magic mushrooms like the new look of WP. 😛

    • draculvanhelsing said,


  3. Randstein said,

    Bwaaa haaaa haaaaa! Perfect. It’s too bad Bennie Hill is no longer with us. He could get a lot of ideas from you. Very good. I loved the part of singing the Chinese national anthem to escape the clutches of Gong Li. Now that was funny!

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      Thanks very much, Daniel. 🙂

      Yes, I’m sorry that Benny Hill is no longer with us as well.

      I thought you’d enjoy that line about the Chinese National Anthem with your love of Asian history, heritage and culture.

      Have you learned the lyrics to the South Korean National Anthem to save yourself and valuable parts of your anatomy on those rare occasions when your wife gets mad at you? 😉

      • Randstein said,

        Actually, I think it’s set to God Save The Queen. It’s been so long. I probably can’t get a word out but could hum like crazy 😜

    • draculvanhelsing said,

      LOL ! at “Could hum like crazy”. 😀

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