Haiku About Gilderoy Lockhart

September 24, 2015 at 7:09 pm (Literature, Movies, Poetry) (, , , , )

Haiku About Gilderoy Lockhart

Gilderoy Lockhart
all flash glitz and no substance
true celebrity


  1. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    HA! Perfect way to describe him and most celebrities!
    HUGS!!! 🙂

  2. Mithai Mumblezz said,

    Completely agree to it!!
    And it was wonderful hearing someone talk about Harry Potter after such a loongg time!! 😀

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks. 🙂

      Yes, I’m a big fan of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter books.

      And I too wish people still talked about Harry Potter more.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. 🙂

      • Mithai Mumblezz said,

        You are welcome 🙂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It was nice talking to you. 🙂

        As I tell my readers when they start commenting, I use a very early WordPress HTML format from way back and I’m afraid to upgrade because when I use to upgrade at all my other blogging sites, my work was lost.

        So I stick to the old format here but I notice it prevents me from liking comments on my own blog.

        But I did like your comment.

        So if you ever wonder why I don’t click like on comments on my own blog, that’s the reason.

      • Mithai Mumblezz said,

        Oh no prob!! I encounter a lot of probs in my own wordpress app. Like It automatically gets unfollowed or sometimes I receive my notifications a lot later than they are generated. I even received some of your notif. late.

        And it was wonderful talking too you too!! You have a very cool name 😀 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thanks. 🙂

        Yes, it’s the name of one of my characters in my vampire novel that I decided to use for the name of my blog. 🙂

      • Mithai Mumblezz said,

        Its an awesome name!!What’s your novel called? 🙂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The Vampire Samurai. 🙂

      • Mithai Mumblezz said,

        I definitely try to give it a read as soon as possible!! The name itself sounds so fetching!! 🙂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thank you very much. 🙂

      • Mithai Mumblezz said,

        My pleasure!! 🙂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


  3. Hyperion said,

    Unlike your very captivating Giant Rat of Sumatra, Gilderoy Lockhart doesn’t stand a chance. When your manuscript is turned into a blockbuster made for TV serial only on HBO due to a glitch in the contract that occurred when your agent, Renfield R. Renfiled was away on a porn holiday with his favorite ancient Egyptian Cosplay model. Cleo Petranova, I plan to be there for the gala grand opening. Since there was no like button, I left inane comments so you would know I was reading and enjoying your masterpiece. All blustery bloviations asidde, it’s damn fine writing.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you very much, Daniel. 🙂

      That means a lot.

      • Hyperion said,

        It’s brilliant, witty and downright captivating, Chris. I’m on Chapter 5 and will continue. 🙂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Great to hear! 🙂

      • Hyperion said,

        Awesomeness abounds!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Actually, Gilderoy Lockhart is one of my favourite characters from Harry Potter.

        I always got a kick out of him. 😀

        I never saw the movie version of Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets – the work in which Gilderoy Lockhart appears.

        I just found out recently that it was Irish Shakespearian actor Kenneth Branagh (who directed this year’s Disney version of Cinderella and did a splendid job!) who played Gilderoy Lockhart in that movie.

        I imagine he’d have done a magnificent job.

        In my first year of writing my vampire novel back in 2004-2005, my vampire hunter character Dracul Van Helsing had a dream where he was at the grand opening of a new business.

        And the celebrity they had on hand for the grand opening was none other than Gilderoy Lockhart signing autographs.

        In the dream, I had Gilderoy Lockhart as a radio DJ for a local radio station.

        Also in the dream I had a character called Jim Gallant who was Dracul Van Helsing’s best friend in the first year of that novel.

        Jim Gallant was a Norman Newmanesque-sized postal letter carrier.

        At one point in his life, Gallant was involved in a heavy relationship with a woman.

        But then one night, when he had her over for dinner, they were watching that episode of The Simpsons where Marge Simpson’s sister Patty came out of the closet as a lesbian.

        At the end of the show, Gallant’s girlfriend got up and announced that she was coming out of the closet as a lesbian thus putting a sudden and dramatic end to their relationship.

        Gallant was so shook up by the experience that after she left, he went out for a midnight walk in the woods.

        While out walking, he got his foot caught in a bear trap.

        After getting his foot out of the bear trap, he took this as a divine sign from Heaven that he was to become a Trappist monk.

        So he became a Trappist monk and was never heard from again in my novel ever since.

        But anyway at the time of Dracul Van Helsing’s dream of Gilderoy Lockhart as an autograph signing radio celebrity, Jim Gallant was still an active character in the novel.

        As Gilderoy was signing autographs in the parking lot of the business at the grand opening, Dracul Van Helsing was standing on one side of the autograph table and Jim Gallant was standing on the other.

        Jim asked Dracul, “Hey Drac, when are you going to return that videotape I leant you?”.

        Dracul replied, “Oh, I’ve got it here, Jim.”

        Dracul then threw the videotape to Jim but unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your perspective) the videotape struck radio DJ Gilderoy Lockhart on the side of the head- killing him instantly!

        As Gilderoy’s head dropped to the table quite dead, an all-girls’ band of beautiful female singers in short skirts stood up and started singing,

        “Video killed the radio star,
        video killed the radio star… ”

        It was then that Dracul awakened.

      • Hyperion said,

        LOL! Another great story, Chris! Dracul and Renfield are very vivid dreamers. 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Indeed they are. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        That’s what I like about them. NEVER a dull moment 😛

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think Daniel you’d probably get a kick out of this story about the time Renfield R. Renfield tried to conduct the Chicago Symphony Orchestra with his own particular interpretation of Rossini’s William Tell Overture:


      • Hyperion said,

        Thank you, Chris. I look forward to reading it this evening when I get home!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


  4. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    Hey! Daniel is way faster than me. I am on Chapter Four. 😛
    I love the Rat. Have you his image somewhere? I could’ve imagine he must have a cute hat on or something. 😀

    And Lockhart is a fake one – your Rat is better. 😀

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, at least the rat acts like a rat.

      Eating all that cheese and then doing commercials for Philips Milk of Magnesia.

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