Renfield’s Take On Liquid Water Being Found On Mars

September 29, 2015 at 7:09 pm (Commentary, News, Science, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Renfield’s Take On Liquid Water Being Found On Mars

“Now that NASA has found signs of flowing water on Mars, their next most important step should be to find signs of flowing beer on Mars.”

-Renfield R. Renfield


  1. Bioman said,

    How do we know the water isn’t due to the Universe warming up?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      We don’t.

      Universal warming is a problem scientists have not studied due to their fixation on global warming.

      • Bioman said,

        I tell you, NASA should just blame their Volkswagen propulsion unit with it’s vacuum cooling, sticking out the back! Planetary warming! Galaxial warming! Universal joints! Cheers!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, warming on Mars is a result of Volkswagen’s cheating on emissions tests.

        German engineering at work again!

  2. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    Renfield R. Renfield always has THE BEST ideas! 😉
    HUGS!!! 🙂

  3. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    Oh! Danile’s Oliver & Jeffery shoot up their beer up there in outer space? It got landed on Mars. Those scientist should test the water if one can drink it. May be one get super-power of some sort after consume it. LOL


    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, now all Mars needs is some magic mushrooms and green cheese. 😀

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Yes, green cheese from Mars this time! I’ll use the salt water from there to bake it. Then all will get MARS STONED! LOL
        hehehe … 😛

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, instead of Attack of The Killer Tomatoes, it will be Attack of The Stoner Mushrooms. 😀

        Mars Attacks!

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        LOL Did you watch that too?
        wah ahahah … Unbelievable!
        I watched the Killer Tomatoes like ages ago. My brother & I watched it out of curiosity and we had a good laugh because it sucks so much.

        Mars Attacks is the same. It is so awesome weird. 😛

        Yes, the Attack of the Stoner Mushrooms. 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Attack of The Stoner Mushrooms will be the next great picture in that series of rotten tomatoes classics about strange invaders from outer space- Attack of The Killer Tomatoes, Mars Attacks and now Attack of the Stoner Mushrooms. 🙂

        Donald Trump’s hairpiece will never know what hit him. 😀

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        LOL Donald Trump will be in my film. He got stoned after he tried the magical mushroom buns and so does his monkey hair! hahaha … Gosh … 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Immigration of magic mushrooms from Germany will be the only immigration he allows the whole time he’s in office. 😀

  4. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    This is so strange … I cannot see any new blogs of you coming on my side of “Reader”. Awful sometimes … I got to follow and unfollow you. 😛

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I was wondering why you hadn’t visited my blog in awhile.

      The WP genie has been hitting the bottle again. 😛

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Yes, but only when I check this on my Iphone, then it always happen that I don’t see, nor receive any notifications. Only when I am on my notebook or desktop that I received this. 😛

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Maybe your iPhone is getting into your magic mushrooms and getting stoned. 😛

        You should start asking your Siri some questions.

        You might get some unusual answers. 😀

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Yeah, I think my iPhone got stoned too.
        You know, it always detected strange sounds and trying to identify it, by saying “Daddy” all the time. It often happen and I didn’t any of my scanner apps on sound. That was odd.

        Then last night, it went off at around midnight and it says, “Cannot identify Daddy.” … I was feeling something is watching me there … That was freaking scary! *Don’t laugh* But it was soooo strange. 😛

        … Ok … I think I ate too much magic mushroom buns! 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I hope you did eat too many magic mushroom cinnamon buns and got stoned. 😛

        Otherwise if that actually happened, we’ll have to call in the exorcist for your iPhone.

        That will be quite something to see your iPhone levitating 3 feet above the bed, swearing in Latin and spitting out green pea soup all over the place. 😛

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Next Film “The STONED Exorcism”. LOL

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Sir Anthony Hopkins plays a Catholic priest who eats Sherrie’s magic mushroom buns and then goes on to exorcise a demon-possessed iPhone. LOL !

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Oh gosh! Sir Hopkins did scares me a lot when he got demonized. It was an eerie film to me, although in the first place it was a very interesting film.

        But he is indeed a frightening Hannibal Lecter as well as being demonized priest! 😛

        Oh, yes! Anybody eats my magic mushroom buns will definitely get stoned. They starts to see real life Unicorns flying over the rainbows! LOL

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Sir Anthony Hopkins is an excellent actor.

        And Renfield after he eats your magic mushroom buns will say, “Amadeus, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.
        Do you see that Unicorn singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow? ” 😛
        LOL !

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        wah hahaha … Terrible Renfield! LOL
        Amadeus would’ve cried over the Unicorns … “Oh, my Unicorns! They are soooo beautiful! Hey! Where are you going??? Don’t leave me! Huhuhuhu … ” LOL 😛

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

  5. Nicholas C. Rossis said,

    Lol – now you’re talking 😀

  6. Hyperion said,

    The beer flowing will require blue collar terra-farmers. Once the working class colony is established then beer and pole dancing can be established as an integral part of environmental development. No doubt, beer will flow freely on Mars for an astronomical price, no doubt.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Daniel, the price of beer on Mars will be quite literally out of this world. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        Hopefully the taste somewhat recognizable 🙂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Bodies of black dragons by the thousands are starting to appear on the Martian surface ever since the brewery opened leaving one to wonder not only about the taste but the quality of the beer being produced there.

        NASA is quickly doctoring those photos to erase all evidence of the grisly scene having signed a multi-billion dollar deal with Sapporo Breweries to produce the Martian beer.

        Hiring an otter as beer master for the brewery in order to find cheap labour willing to work for peanuts (or minnows at any rate) now does not look like such a good idea in retrospect.

      • Hyperion said,

        I’m sure a government study will find no scientific proof that Martian made Otter beer is bad for Black Dragons. A famous Asian actor will head the research committee and even make commercials showing the safety of the beer by quaffing mass quantities of it live on streaming YouTube commercials. After his early demise from unknown sources, a Cybrid will step in and prove beyond doubt that the beer is just fine. Later it’s proven that flatulence in Cybrids caused by the Martian Otter made Minnow Tail beer has a strange aphrodisiac effect. Sopporo Beer company becomes the first interstellar gazillonaire corporation taking over the government and conducting secret cyber-otter experiments that lead to a cybrid zombie otter outbreak on Mars. I can see it all clearly.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I’m sure you’re seeing it all very clearly through that otter made beer you’ve been drinking for the past few hours.

      • Hyperion said,

        Chris! I suppose I should add clarevoyance to the list of your many skills. Cheers. 😋

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, one cannot write about Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster without his talent rubbing off on one. 🙂

        Cheers, my friend. 🙂

      • Hyperion said,

        A loud and boisterous cheers my Blogoteer friend! 😄

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Buns for all and all for puns! 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        Bwaa haaa haaa! I enjoy shouting our motto in the workforce. It gives the employees something to rumor monger about. 😂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I imagine it does.

        LOL ! 😀

      • Hyperion said,


      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


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