Lilith-Belfor Axis To Destroy Israel

September 30, 2015 at 7:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Lilith-Belfor Axis To Destroy Israel

The sight was somewhat unusual.

A beautiful red headed woman wearing a green evening dress walking alongside a man who looked the part of what a middle-aged Mormon missionary suffering a mid-life crisis might look like if he was trying to recapture the glory days of his youth.

The background was even more unusual.

It was the bombed out remnants of a Syrian town recently hit by Russian war planes.

Back in Washington D.C., U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry was pulling his hair out over the possibility of World War III breaking out in Syria.

A Kerry aide was already on the line trying to get hold of Donald Trump to see what colour of spider monkeys’ fur the Republican Party Presidential front runner used for his hair pieces.

Another Kerry aide was trying to get hold of President Obama to stop the outbreak of World War III.

But President Obama was already on another line trying to deal with what he considered a far more pressing issue- trying to arrange a diplomatic tete a tete between Sir Elton John and Russian President Vladimir Putin to resolve their differences on the issue of gay rights.

Meanwhile back in the bombed out ruins of the Syrian town, the woman in the green evening dress spoke to the middle-aged Mormon missionary looking man who looked to be suffering a mid-life crisis.

“Well,” the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith asked, “what do you think?”.

“Well,” CIA agent Bob Belfor answered, “it looks like the Russian Air Force have inflicted damage unlike our Air Force when we hit Islamic State targets. The only time we get it right on target on IS is when we’re supposed to be dropping supplies to our allies and we end up dropping them safe and intact into Islamic State hands by mistake.”

“Yes, you Americans seem to be bungling this war quite nicely,” Lilith looked around.

“We try our best,” Belfor smiled.

“But the reason I called you here,” Lilith drew closer to Belfor, “is can you arrange an incident to happen between Russia and the Israelis?”.

Lilith had made it her life long vampiric mission to destroy the nation of Israel ever since rabbinic commentators had slandered her good name in the Babylonian Talmud.

As for the mid-life crisis suffering CIA agent Bob Belfor, he wasn’t too pleased with the Israelis either ever since the Mossad agent code named the Controller of The Golem had referred to him Bob Belfor as a “total jackass” at an international secret agents’ cocktail party in Geneva 5 years ago.

“I think,” Bob Belfor grinned, “that can be arranged.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 30th
2015.

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68 Comments

  1. Nicholas C. Rossis said,

    I think I’ll stop watching the news, and just read your blog. Your stories make a lot more sense than real life…

  2. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    I will read your blogs as soon as I am settle down. Load of things to do. πŸ™‚

    But here I have something for you and Daniel. Wish you a lovely weekend, Chris! *HUG*

    https://sherriedevaleriahendrie.wordpress.com/2015/10/02/magic-mushrooms-bachelor-party-the-3-blogoteers/

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      LOL ! , Sherrie! πŸ˜€

      Delightful story.

      You’ve certainly got the personalities of the characters in Daniel’s and my stories down to a t. Particularly the character of Amadeus. πŸ˜€

      You too have a wonderful weekend, my friend. πŸ™‚

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Well, I ate too much magic buns that I wrote a strange story about it … LOL πŸ˜›

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

        It was an excellent story, Sherrie. πŸ˜€

        I sent you an email by the way so be sure to check your recent emails.

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Oh, thank you, Chris!
        I’ll check this on lunch time. πŸ™‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        You’re welcome. πŸ™‚

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Oh, Chris! I just check my email, but nothing is there. That’s odd.
        Which email address did you use? πŸ˜›

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I just found your other email address, Sherrie.

        I forwarded it there.

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Guten Morgen from here, Chris!
        I am on late breakfast. Not working today.
        Taking 2 weeks holiday. I am just about to check on the email. πŸ™‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Guten Morgen over there in Bavaria, Sherrie. πŸ™‚

        It’s Guten Nicht over here in British Columbia. πŸ™‚

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Oh, you mean Gute Nacht, Chris!
        hehehe …
        It is now 11:25 am over here and I am not working because I am ill.
        Well, now and sitting on my bed and be on WP, surf the net on my Notebook …
        At the same time I am watching Sherlock where he met Irene Adler the first time. Uh lalala … She was naked and Watson just came in time staring at her! hahaha … LOL πŸ˜›

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Irene Adler naked eh?

        LOL !

        No wonder Watson wrote, “To Sherlock Holmes, she’ll always be THE woman.” πŸ˜€

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        That is what they all called her, “The Woman”. LOL
        But to tell you the truth, she is not a beautiful Irene. I was like ,”Uh, okay … ” And then a long pause …. πŸ˜€

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And didn’t they kill her off within a few minutes of that episode I believed they called it A Scandal In Belgravia?

        I was watching it and then when they bumped her off, i said what? They didn’t kill her off in the original story. I’m not going to watch this.”

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        It was Moriarty who killed her. With a poison if I am not mistaken. I got to read again to remember this. That Moriarty is a nasty creepy guy – highly intelligent and dangerous. Such a man do exist in this world but who know who he is – the one who controls the politicians and kings alike. There is always one man like him whom all feared.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I remember Irene Adler lived in the original story A Scandal In Bohomeia.

        I can’t remember whether Moriarty was in the original Scandal In Bohemia or not.

        Yes, Moriarty was quite the villain- that evil mathematics professor.

        No wonder I was never good in math in school. πŸ˜€

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        hahaha … Moriarty is a mad man for sure. In Sherlock she plays dead and alive, dead and alive – not sure if she is really dead. I am confused by it. But anyway, she is indeed, “The Woman”. πŸ˜€

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Oh. She came back to life later in the show eh?

        Gee.

        Maybe I should have watched the whole episode.

        I was ticked off when it looked like they had bumped Irene Adler off so I shut the TV off.

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Yes, she is. Actually, Holmes had saved her life from the hands of the terrorist to whom I believe, (of course) got some connection with Moriarty.

        Did you watch Sherlock TV show already?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I’ve watched a few episodes of the Sherlock TV series with Benedict Cumberbatch. πŸ™‚

        We get the Detroit PBS channel on cable here in Vancouver and they occasionally show Sherlock on it. πŸ™‚

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        When I told my friends that I watched Benedict Cumberbatch, she said this … “Oh! Then you are one of those Cumberbitch, yeah?” hahaha …. LOL

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        You should have replied, “I’d rather be a Cumberbitch than a cucumber bitch!
        At least I’m not a vegetable.” πŸ˜€

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        wah hahahah … Cucumber bitch!
        Sounds so sexualy vege porno like.
        hahaha …
        LOL
        I thought that only Nikki Minaj is a bitch. She’s ain’t a vege. She’s a flesh eater with her loyal friend Anaconda and flash her booty everywhere too. πŸ˜›

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL ! πŸ™‚

        One of the Anaconda’s cousins was always in Medusa’s hair. πŸ˜›

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Guten Morgen von Deutschland, Chris!
        Just had my third cup of coffee. Gosh … it is so cold here. I just throw in some firewoods …

        Anaconda was always in Medusa’s hair? Poor thang has to be Nikki Minaj’s pet toy. It has to watch her flashing and shaking, and twerking her booty. LOL

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Hopefully the fire and coffee will help keep you warm. πŸ™‚

        Yes, the Anaconda went from being in Medusa’s hair to being in Nikki’s butt. πŸ˜›

        It was quite a step down in the world for the poor snook- sort of a yogic Kundalini exercise in reverse. πŸ˜€

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        hahahaha … Kundalini exercise? LOL
        I do martial art but then I also do yoga and my children thought their Mommie is more like a bending snake. They winced everytime I do yoga because it is scary to see Mommie bending. Kind of freaky cool, they said. Whatever that means … πŸ˜€

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Freaky cool eh? πŸ˜€

        LOL !

        That’s a good description.

        It’s like Art Linkletter called his old TV program, “Kids Say The Darndest Things.” πŸ˜€

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        wah hahaha … That is not the darndest things … It is the STRANGEST things … LOL
        hahaha …

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        You should dress up as Medusa this Halloween and put plastic snakes in your hair and see what strange things they say then. πŸ˜€

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Uuuuuu … good idea.
        I make a good looking STONE Medusa for sure.
        And I will tell you what they say about it … hehehe …

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

        Yes, and you can write a short story or poem about their reaction. πŸ˜€

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Of course I will. Indeed! πŸ˜‰

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        πŸ™‚

  3. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    I got here again and starting to read all the previous blogs of yours I have’nt read … Ain’t that a coincidence when I wrote my blog on us with the red dress and the purple dress, and Donald Trump?

    I swore I have not read this one before I wrote my blog! What a coincidence.
    I might have met you in my dream the other day when I ate too much buns and thought seeing you speaking to me when the actual fact I was standing in front of a jacket stander with a hat on top that look like you, Chris! LOL … πŸ˜€

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      LOL !

      That is interesting, Sherrie.

      I thought you had read this blog post before you wrote yours about the magic mushroom party.

      They do seem to fit one another quite nicely.

      So you saw a jacket stand with a hat that reminded you of me eh, LOL ! πŸ˜€

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        hehehe … Yes, I speak to it …, “Oh, hello there, Chris? You look handsome today, my dear friend. Cool hat you have there. Unlike Donald Trump, he has those monkey hair on his head … strange man he is …” LOL hahaha …

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That reminds me of a comic strip I once read where this woman goes to see a private eye called The Thin Man and says hello to the office coat rack which has his hat and coat on it and the private eye says, “I’m over here, Miss. I’m really not that thin.”

        Yes, Donald Trump’s shampoo must be stranger than the outpouring of a barrel of monkeys. πŸ˜€

  4. Hyperion said,

    LOL! Chris, your description of our government prioritization is spot on. Nicholas is right. Who needs the news when we have a more accurate view of world affairs right here. πŸ˜€

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks, Daniel. πŸ˜€

      Yes, it reminds me of something one of my English Lit professors said back in University, “The really terrifying thing about satire is that it’s often closest to the truth on what’s happening in reality.”

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes it is. To mangle a quote from Dan Simmons, you are the bullets in truth’s bandoleer. πŸ˜‰

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thanks, Daniel.

        Glad to hear it. πŸ™‚

      • Hyperion said,

        Someday, I’ll be able to claim that the Three Blogoteers accurately predicted the future when Cybrid children are in school learning of Renfield R. Renfield and others like him and how they shaped the history of the world and the current planet they live on. πŸ˜†

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, historians will remark on how a cannibalistic hamster who ate his fellow hamster in a cage in a used book store in Manitou Springs, Colorado changed the course of history.

        A friend of mine who was at a past blogging site I was at called Journalspace owned a cannibalistic hamster that she called Renfield which she kept in a cage in her used book shop.

        It inspired me to create the character of Renfield R. Renfield a genetically created shapeshifting hamster/human back in 2006.

        If she had called her pet cannibalistic hamster Matissio, I’d have probably called the character Matissio M. Matissio.

        But she called him Renfield so the rest is history.

        Literary form critics (like the so-called higher Biblical critics of 19th Century Germany) will once again be shown to be wrong in their theories because they’d have deduced (with some justification) that I got the name Renfield from the fly-catching character in Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

        When in reality, I got it from the said cannibalistic hamster in a used book store in Manitou Springs, Colorado.

        There but for the choice of names by a bookseller, my character might have been called Matissio
        C’est la vie as the French would say.

        C’est la vie.

      • Hyperion said,

        Ah, fate crosses paths! I enjoyed Manitou Springs. My best friend, an old Army buddy, has a home there. I was stationed in the 4th Infantry at Colorado Springs and visited MS often. I wonder if I went to that same bookstore and actually, unbeknownst to me, was in close proximity to the genesis of Renfield R. Renfield the shape shifting hamster human we have all come to know and love. That would explain most of the strange things that occured in my life while I lived there.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Did you ever visit the used book store between 2004 and 2006?

        Ever run into a beautiful and petite very dark eyed very dark haired brunette who was named Natalie who worked there?

        That was Renfield’s owner.

      • Hyperion said,

        I was stationed there in the 87-89 time frame but visited on a trip to train soldiers 2006. I’m not sure if there is more than one bookstore there in 06 but it’s possible we crossed paths. I can ask my friend to say hello if Natalie is still there. That is such a great memory to have your character tied to such a unique setting and person.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, do ask him to say “Hello” to Natalie.

        I’m sure he’d remember Natalie if he ever met her.

        She was quite the character. πŸ™‚

        Which of course can be seen by the fact that if she was just your average person, she’d have gotten rid of Renfield once he ate her other pet hamster in the same cage as him.

        Most people would not keep such a pet.

      • Hyperion said,

        I’ll tell him! He should be by there this coming weekend. She sounds like she fits in well with our group. I think I would worry a little if Renfield got out of the cage and was wandering around looking for someone to eat. 😁

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, she often had nightmares about being eaten by Renfield when he escaped from his cage.

        Yes, she would make a great 4th Blogoteer like D’artagnan made a great 4th Musketeer.

        Plus she spoke French very well. πŸ™‚

        And her blog posts were absolutely hilarious, Daniel. πŸ˜€

        You’d definitely have to keep off the bottle while reading her posts.

        Although now that I think about it, she did comment that she had spewed coffee all over her computer after reading one of mine.

      • Hyperion said,

        LOL! My laptop is a mess since I started reading your blog. Natalie sounds intriguing. Maybe someday she’ll pop in for a little vampire soiree πŸ˜€

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I hope so. πŸ™‚

        I always wondered what became of her.

        We sort of lost track with one another within a year of the Journalspace site crashing in December 2008.

      • Hyperion said,

        That’s tragic. I need to remind myself to back up my blog regularly. Lots of odd things happening lately. Surely a sign of doom and gloom for my collection of oddities.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, always good to have a back-up plan. πŸ™‚

      • Hyperion said,

        I’m always backing up into briar bushes. But, that really isn’t my plan. It just happens.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Always a pain in the ass when that happens.

  5. anaatcalin said,

    Excellent, Chris! Your studies, as well as your erudition help portray perfectly how petty personal interest bugs international affairs. How governments and entire societal systems have become mere toys in the hands of psycho-children, from officials to corporate Chucky’s. How political leaders concern themselves with “luxury” problems instead of dealing with the heavy, and this is true all over the world. Okay, maybe Germany does indeed look better from this point of view, but not always.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks for your analysis and insight, Ana. πŸ™‚

      One of the reasons why I put my geopolitical analysis- in fictional form- a vampire novel- because many people refuse to believe that the state of the world is as bad as it is as I’ve discovered through my research.

      A simple essay or commentary or collection of news items many people simply would not read.

      • anaatcalin said,

        Well, here we see things a bit differently. Because of the humor and depth, the humorous symbolism as well, I believe people would read it. In your place I would definitely send what I have to an agent. To many agents, actually, a hundred. Check out Writer’s Market in the internet. I know published authors who use them.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        If you know of any good literary agents, I’d be pleased to know.

        I can’t seem to find any when I google.

        I always thought a good literary agent would be the solution to my problems of getting my work published in bound book form.

      • anaatcalin said,

        I don’t know them personally, and you won’t find them on the internet. They open queries and similar, but only Writer’s Market has this data.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thanks. πŸ™‚

  6. anaatcalin said,

    Oh, wait, now I understand – if it were dry essays they wouldn’t read. Yes, true. But this – they’d eat it. I’d love to know what are the world’s greatest problems from your point of view.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, it was dry essays that I meant.

      People I’ve noticed do seem to lap up my geopolitical analysis in my vampire novel.

      When I was at both the Journalspace and Xanga blogging sites (both have now become defunct), there was a lot of young bloggers there- both in Junior High and High School- who became avid readers and fans of my blog.

      Thus putting the lie to the claim that young people are more worried about clothes and music and movies and video games and have no interest in politics.

      It’s the way geopolitics and international relations are presented to them.

      Many of my young readers developed an intense interest in politics and world affairs as a direct result of reading my vampire novel.

      • anaatcalin said,

        That is fantastic, Chris! Please send it to publishers in Canada too – you might have to go to writer events, like conferences, you’ll meet agents and editors there. At least that’s what published authors I know have done, and they were successful.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thanks for all the advice. πŸ™‚

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