Renfield’s Dream of Donald Trump Wearing Kilts

October 8, 2015 at 7:38 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Renfield’s Dream of Donald Trump Wearing Kilts

As Renfield R. Renfield slept on the couch, Amadeus Emanon was sitting in his chair singlehandedly eating every single piece of KFC chicken they had purchased earlier that evening.

Amadeus wondered where the complementary container of special Bavarian mushroom sauce that came with the bucket of chicken had gotten to.

Unbeknownst to Amadeus while he was in the bathroom washing his hands, Renfield had eaten every single drop of the special Bavarian mushroom sauce said to contain “Sherrie’s secret ingredients”.

Which would probably explain the dream Renfield was having at the moment.

Renfield was dreaming that he was out on the Isle of Skye in Scotland when who should he see come skipping and jumping through the glen but Donald Trump wearing a kilt.

Donald Trump (singing and dancing while wearing a kilt):

Oh I went out on the Isle of Skye
I got goosed by a fruity guy.
All the laddies say hello,
Donald, where’s your trouze-ers?

Let the wind blow high
Let the wind blow low
Flashing my kilt
along I go
waving my dickie to all my friends
Donald, where’s your trouze-ers?

Mercifully Renfield woke up before he saw what would have been the post-traumatic stress disorder inspiring sight of Donald Trump in a kilt waving his dickie at him.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday October 8th
2015.

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19 Comments

  1. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    hahahaha … Oh my, Chris! You are so crazy!
    Did his dickie has monkey hair on it???
    Eeewww …
    hahahaha … This is so awesome! ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks, Sherrie. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Yes, what type of hair Donald Trump has on his dickie is the stuff nightmares are made of. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        Hope Oliver & Jeffery are safe! Donald is known for his maniacally fan of hairs! Monkey hair, buffalo pubic hair even, otter perhaps … what next? Imagining him using pubic hair from a certain superstar … Nikki Minaj or Kim Kardashian – 100% pure wool??? hahahah … Or polyster??? hahaha …
        No such thing. 100% Pubic hair and it was on the tag of his wig. LOL ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

        Yes, I do hope Oliver and Jeffery are safe.

        Perhaps the Donald can go for that old Medusa gorgon look and use snakes instead of hair on his head.

        That way he’ll be able to turn his opponents to stone. ๐Ÿ˜›

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        You should include some porn stars of the undergroud called “Succubus”. Does it has snaky hair? No, I don’t think so. And yes, those Gorgon look is superb. They should have that all in every hair saloon. I’ll get mine for this coming Halloween. The actual fact is that my kids wants me to stay as the brother-sister of Capt Jack. ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No, I don’t believe succubi have snaky hair.

        Yes, succubi- female demons who act as temptresses.

        You know I think some accounts I’ve read of succubi and incubi appearing actually did happen and weren’t just someone’s imagination.

        So your kids want you to dress up as Captain Jack Sparrow again eh?

        LOL !

        You should surprise them and dress up as Medusa- put plastic snakes in your hair.

        I’ll bet you’ll really have them screaming.

        LOL !

        And then you can go out trick or treating yourself dressed like that.

        You can set the whole neighbourhood screaming.

        LOL !

  2. Hyperion said,

    Bwaaaaa haaaa haaa hahahahaha haaaaa! Donald tiptoeing through the tulips with tricky dickie and singing the Wizard of Oz munchin song. he will get elected president for sure now. As long as he doesn’t get his clintonesque and nonclintonesque confused. Jeffery and Oliver are safely tucked under a rock next to the river waiting for the pranching portly pornball with the penisaurus head to pass by.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      ROTFL !

      And the bagpipes will be the all clear signal for Oliver and Jeffery to come out. ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Hyperion said,

        And a draft of Minnow Tale Otterville otter brew was enjoyed by all as each recalled his or her exact place when the the Donald’s dangling dickie fluttered by with rapturous glee. Beware the maidens.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        If Raymond Burr were still alive, they might make a TV movie called Perry Mason Solves The Case of The Dangling Dickie. ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Hyperion said,

        Bwaaaaaa haaa haaa haaa! He uses Sherlocks best sub-rosa to associate dyed spider monkey hair fibers to the pornographic perp.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes and in a dramatic courtroom spectacle, Perry Mason will say to the Donald as he’s in the witness stand, “Mr. Trump, will you kindly stand and lift your kilt and show the ladies and gentlemen of the jury exactly what concealed weapon you were carrying under your kilt on the moonlit night in question?”.

      • Hyperion said,

        I can invision the stampede of horrified citizenry as the Donald reveals the source to his best personality traits.

  3. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    HA! Poor Renfield! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ The Donald and his Trump-dickie might be haunting all of our dreams before we know it! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Hmm…I might pay to see him sing and dance! ๐Ÿ˜›
    HUGS!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, poor Renfield. ๐Ÿ˜€

      So you might pay to see Donald Trump sing and dance eh? ๐Ÿ˜‰

      LOL !

      • doesitevenmatter3 said,

        Sure! I’m brave! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Plus, I’d like to see if his hair moves! ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜›

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

        That’s a good way of seeing if his hair moves. ๐Ÿ˜€

  4. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    wahahahaha … You and Daniel! I really, really, really LOVE you both. I cannot imagine coming to WP not seeing any of you two. We are the Three Bloogoteers and the 3 Musketeers are out-of-date. We are the COOLEST, the FUNKIEST! And scary CRAZY too! hahaha …

    And what should Sherlock said …

    Sherlock : Or so, you should know. I secretly have a sister … I think you know of her already …

    Watson : Pardon me??? Not Mrs Hudson???

    Sherlock : Watson! For goodness sake! Not her! Use your head, Watson!

    Watson : … Oh, God no! Not Irene Adler??? Are you telling me you slept with your own sister??? SHERLOCK!

    Next Scene (a naked woman came in after taking shower) A look of shock on Watson’s face.

    Watson : Could you put something on please? Ah, anything at all. Napkin?

    Naked Woman : I am not Irene, if that is what you think!

    Watson : Of course I know who Irene was.

    Naked Woman : Why? Do feel expose?

    Sherlock : She’s my sister Watson.

    Watson : (blinked and in shock)

    Sherlock : Oh for goodness sake, Watson! Close your mouth. Please ….

    Watson : This is outrageous! You are looking at her – NAKED??? Sherlock!

    Naked Woman : (smiling happily)

    Sherlock : I think he does not know where to look at.

    Naked Woman : I think he does know where he is looking at.

    Watson : Well, uh … then who are you, really? Why don’t you tell me about this in the first place, Sherlock? Not even Mycroft. So … what is your name?

    Naked Woman : Well, that you should know … I am Sherlock twin sister and was given away for my protection because I am a girl. We both have the same name. I am SHERRIE-LOCK.

    Sherlock : Yes, thanks to our Mom though. And she named me SHERLOCK. Mycroft used to call me SHERLY mistaken me for Sherrie!!!

    ๐Ÿ˜€

    ๐Ÿ˜€

    ๐Ÿ˜€

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