Lilith Meets Erdogan: Neo-Sultanism Arises

October 13, 2015 at 7:15 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Lilith Meets Erdogan: Neo-Sultanism Arises

Renfield R. Renfield was down at the Set Enterprises lab trying out a new experiment with Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster.

Renfield had recently written a movie script about a secret U. S. Army experiment whereby the Pentagon tried to get soldiers to develop their psychic powers by looking at pictures of Playboy bunnies (Renfield intended his movie to be a sequel to the 2009 film The Men Who Stare At Goats. He called his movie The Men Who Stare At Playboy Bunnies).

For more on the background of Renfield’s script, please read here:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2015/10/09/the-men-who-stare-at-playboy-bunnies/

The U.S. Army experiment proved unsuccessful.

But Renfield thought he would try his idea with Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster.

Michelangelo had the ability to enter people’s dreams and see what they were dreaming.

He also had the ability to occasionally pick up radio transmissions from the future.

But so far Michelangelo had failed at the psychic technique of remote viewing.

He did not seem to have the ability to visualize and see what was happening in the present at another location.

Renfield thought that if he showed Michelangelo pictures of Playboy bunnies, this might help his visualization and remote viewing techniques.

Renfield had Michelangelo’s lobster antennae hooked up to the computer so what Michelangelo was receiving or seeing would show up on the computer screen.

Renfield then showed the lobster various pictures of Playboy bunnies.

The computer seemed to shake but no images of remote locations appeared on the screen.

Then Renfield showed the crustacean a nude drawing of Sherlock Holmes’ very beautiful and virtually unknown and forgotten twin sister Sherrielock Holmes.

The power almost went out in the whole facility.

Then an image appeared on the computer screen.

Renfield recognized the locale as one of the rooms in the new Turkish Presidential Palace in Ankara.

He recognized the two people talking in the room.

On the left from the screen’s perspective was the megalomaniacal President of Turkey Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

On the right was the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith who was wearing a Byzantine gold coloured evening dress.

Renfield turned up the volume on the computer.

President Erdogan: I still can’t believe that the U.S. hasn’t figured out that I’m the one behind the creation of ISIS or ISIL or IS – whatever the initials of the day are that the brainless western media use for this group.

Lilith: American intelligence takes its cue from its Sleepwalker-In-chief.

Erdogan: Even though I’ve stated publicly on several occasions that I want to restore the Ottoman Empire with myself as Sultan of course…the U.S. still looks upon me as a trustworthy NATO ally.

Lilith: Well Iran’s Supreme Leader the Ayatollah Ali Khameini has consistently said that’s he going to destroy both the U.S. and Israel but Barack Obama signed a peace deal with Iran anyways.

Nimrod The Talking Frog (emerging from between the cleavage of the low-cut top of Lilith’s dress) : That reminds me of a line I heard from a rerun of Seinfeld where Jerry says to George, “I don’t think vomiting is a deal breaker. I’m sure if Hitler had vomited all over Chamberlain, Chamberlain would still have given him Czechoslovakia.”

Erdogan (to Lilith): Your little friend seems to appear out of nowhere in the most unusual places.

Lilith: I know. He gave my last gynecologist a major heart attack on one occasion.

Needless to say, Renfield found this whole conversation very interesting while Michelangelo the red lobster grew redder with each passing second.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 13th
2015.

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25 Comments

  1. Nicholas C. Rossis said,

    Finally – that explains it!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, I always found it suspicious that Turkey seems to spend more time bombing Kurds in Turkey, Iraq and Syria than they ever do spend bombing ISIS.

      I think I can count the number of times Turkey has actually bombed ISIS by the number of fingers on Lord Horatio Nelson’s missing arm.

      • Nicholas C. Rossis said,

        Ha ha – absolutely 😀

        They remind me of a classical Greek tragedy, where the one thing most feared by the hero is the one his own actions make inevitable.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Erdogan Wrecks- as opposed to Oedipus Rex. 😀

  2. Sherrie de Valeria said,

    What??? That pervert Renfield and pyschic Lobster!
    Now all lobster all over the world knew of my identity.
    And NAKED! LOL 😛

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, you’ve been EXPOSED at last, Sherrie. LOL !

      The world now knows your secret identity- Sherlock Holmes’ long lost twin sister- one who’s either a Vampiress or one who’s discovered a good anti-aging cream. 😀

      Either that or there’s a painted portrait of Sherrie-an Gray in your attic. 😛

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        So you know, that the last Season 3 Episode 3, when Sherlock was about to say goodbye to John and suggesting baby name for his friend, he confided that Sherlock is baby girl’s name – in case John is going to have a girl. LOL … 😀

        Oh, and I do have the painting of Dorian Gray up in my attic. I was fascinated to him that I bought that painting in an antique shop and asked the salesman if he knew who is that beautiful handsome man in the painting. He told me and I was surprised. It cost me nearly a hundred Euro, but I want it so much that I bought it. 😛

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

        Coincidentally The Picture of Dorian Gray movie from 1945 is on Turner Classic Movies right now.

        When Dorian read Wilde’s poem about The Sphinx in the movie a while ago, I was so impressed I had to google it.

        Then I’ve been reading his other poems as I also watch this movie.

        I can see why I’ve always felt a kinship and affinity with Oscar Wilde.

        As I read his poetry and feel his anguish, he’s like me.

        He loves Christ but is tortured by his own sense of unease in the world and a feeling of despair.

        As I read Wilde’s poems, he too feels he’s trapped in Hell and wants Christ to deliver and save him.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      The thought just occurred to me, Sherrie, that as a result of that pervert Renfield showing Michelangelo your picture, you’ll never be able to go swimming nude in the ocean again since now all the lobsters will recognize you. 😛 😀

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        For all the friends of Mr Lobster and Mr Crab and Spongebob down there … I am the star! LOL 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And they’ll look up and say, “A star among fish? Possibly a starfish?”. 😛

      • Sherrie de Valeria said,

        And also, not to forget, the Magic Mushroom Starfish.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        OMG !

        A magic mushroom starfish? 😛

        Now I’ve seen everything! LOL ! 😀

  3. Hyperion said,

    BWAAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAAA! This just made my whole week worth living, Chris! Sherrielock Holmes – loved it and Michelangelo hooked up to the computer blowing out the facility power – hilarious. But I blew boogers all over my keyboard when Lilith explained that Nimrod gave her gynecologist a heart attack. I’m still laughing!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      LOL ! 😀

      Glad you enjoyed it, Daniel. 🙂

      I owe the idea of Sherrielock Holmes to our friend Sherrie who wrote a comment on one of my blog posts in which she imagined a twin sister of Sherlock Holmes called Sherrielock Holmes suddenly appearing in the nude to Dr. Watson.

      So I took that idea and ran with it.

      Or at least had Renfield show a visual drawing of the concept to Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster thereby almost causing the power blowout of the Set Enterprises laboratory facility.

      Glad you thoroughly enjoyed the line of Lilith about Nimrod and her gynecologist’s heart attack. 😀

      Hopefully you’ve got a good cleaning solution to get the boogers off your keyboard. 🙂

      • Hyperion said,

        You slayed me with this one Chris 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I’m so glad you thoroughly enjoyed this, my friend. 🙂

      • Hyperion said,

        Keep it up Chris! I’m beginning to like Lilith. She would fit right in with the crowd. 🙂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Lilith was only a character who appeared now and again in my vampire novel.

        But now she’s starting to develop a real personality of her own- a vampiress with a real Mae West like sense of humour.

      • Hyperion said,

        I could see her spinning off into her own story. One with uproarious good buns..er..puns. 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, if she was a TV series character, she’d definitely be given a series of her own.

      • Hyperion said,

        If it was cable they could actually show the frog scene and the world would never be the same.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No, it definitely wouldn’t be the same. 😀

        Have you read my science-fiction short story I posted a couple of nights ago called CERN Stargate Wormhole Experiment and The Mysterious Entity?

        It’s a different sort of science-fiction story. 😉

      • Hyperion said,

        I think I need to hurry right over!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        🙂

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