Part XVI The Giant Rat of Sumatra

October 27, 2015 at 6:53 pm (Detective story, Horror, Mystery, Mystery/horror, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Part XVI The Giant Rat of Sumatra

“He died of acute constipation,” was veterinarian Fred Clegg’s conclusion when the Giant Rat of Sumatra was found dead in his cage the next morning.

“With those two tons of cheese he ate aboard the Matilda Briggs and all those cats around Stamford he ate to say nothing of the woman wearing the skinned cat fur coat that he ate, I’m not surprised,” was Holmes’ brilliant observation.

“May he rest in peace,” one of the circus dwarves crossed himself.

“He’ll never be able to make his premiere appearance on the circus stage,” Vittoria Donna Gina sighed sadly.

“That might be a good thing,” Holmes picked up the huge tail of the monster rodent, “this was probably a tail for which the world is not yet prepared.”

“I did not consider that the problem of constipation might do in my creation,” Faust lowered his Golden Masked head in shame.

“It probably didn’t occur to Victor Frankenstein either,” Fred Clegg quipped, “that a sudden bolt of irregularity might do in his creation created by a sudden bolt of lightning.”

“I suppose it’s back to the drawing board for you, Dr. Faustus,” Holmes commented.

“If only I had the ability to sketch like Leonardo Da Vinci,” Faust said sadly.

“I wouldn’t mind banging a woman who would make an excellent subject for a Pre-Raphaelite painting,” Holmes ejaculated suddenly- both verbally and otherwise.

Being in the presence of Vittoria Donna Gina was making Holmes feel a bit amorous.

“Well, I better round up the other dwarves and get this body out of here,” the dwarf commented.

” I wish I had a camera for this,” was Fred Clegg’s final commentary.

-A Sherlock Holmes novella chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 25th
2015.

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14 Comments

  1. Nicholas C. Rossis said,

    Lol – such an ignominious end to the poor creature!

  2. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    HA! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜›
    And…oh my…what a way TO GO! πŸ˜› Pun intended! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€
    HUGS!!! πŸ™‚

  3. Hyperion said,

    This was rich, Chris. “A tail for which the world is not yet prepared.” The dialog on the causes of the rat’s demise was entertaining as well as Holme’s otherwise stately demeanor suddenly taking on the stance of the pre-ejaculatory state with Vittoria Donna Gina in mind speaks of Holme’s good intentions for Ms Gina. Heck of a story, Chris.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks very much, Daniel. πŸ™‚

      • Hyperion said,

        Most welcome, Chris. It was an excellent tail, ready or not.

  4. Dracul Van Helsing said,

    No doubt that line of yours,”It was an excellent tail, ready or not” will forever be Holmes’ last thought on this last meeting he had with Vittoria Donna Gina. πŸ˜€

  5. ѕнєяяιє βˆ‚Ρ” ναℓєяια said,

    wah hahaha … The bolt lightning conversation and the results of constipation. I know people died of constipation in Stephen King’s Dreamcatcher where monster with razor teeth comes out from their butt.
    Eeeewww … when I saw that film, I almost puke at scene of the fat man sitting still on the toilet seat after he died. What an eye sore for me! Blah! LOL

    And now all Holmes need is a good spank on his butt from Irene Adler. If not, then probably from Gina! hehehe … πŸ˜›

  6. anaatcalin said,

    Chris, this is as usual fantastic. That you write these short snippets full of humor and substance and erudition is simply perfect, because it’s like having a good bite of good literature for us readers out there who enjoy quality, but rarely get the opportunity to read in our full corporate-led lives. Thank you!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      You’re very welcome, Ana. πŸ™‚

      It’s a delight to hear that my writing is making an impact for the better in people’s lives.

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