Renfield and The Modigliani Painting

November 10, 2015 at 8:43 pm (Art, Culture, History, Humour, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Renfield and The Modigliani Painting

“You look pale,” Amadeus commented as he ate his 17th dish of vanilla ice cream.

“It’s this article I read on the BBC News website,” Renfield looked as white as a ghost.

This is the article:

“The Modigliani painting Nu couche (Reclining nude) was sold this past Monday at Christie’s in New York for $170.4 million U.S.,” Amadeus read the story on his iPhone, “Hm, that woman in the painting looks familiar.”

“She should,” Renfield turned the colour of a polar bear, “that’s Sherrielock Holmes.”

“Your personal dominatrix?” Amadeus asked Renfield as Athelstan the butler entered the room to take away the tea pot.

“You didn’t have to mention her profession in such a loud voice,” Renfield now looked as red as a lobster.

“It says here this painting was painted back in 1917 and 1918,” Amadeus reached for some dates to eat, “gosh, Sherrielock still looks good for her age.”

“That’s the thing,” Renfield turned back to the colour of an albino again, “when she told me that she was Sherlock Holmes’ twin sister from the late 19th Century, I thought maybe she had just eaten too many magic mushrooms or something. I didn’t take her seriously. I know she isn’t a vampiress from those times she walked me while I was wearing a dog collar in Hyde Park during daylight hours. So how did she achieve immortality?”.

“And she didn’t do it in Dorian Gray style either,” Amadeus spilled red strawberry jam all over himself, “seeing as how her image in the painting still looks wonderful.”

“Unless she’s got another painting in her attic somewhere,” Renfield now looked like a snow man.

The power suddenly went out.

“The power is out,” Renfield stated the obvious.

While they listened to the sound of Athelstan tripping and falling in the dark as he struggled to find the mansion’s spare electric generator, Amadeus’ iPhone rang.

“That was Dr. Cadbury Rocher down at the Set Enterprises lab,” Amadeus said, “apparently Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a major psychic episode in the aquarium. He not only knocked out the power in the facility but blew out the entire electrical grid of the entire City of London as well.”

“It’s that damn painting,” Renfield’s eyes glowed in the dark, “I know it is.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 10th



  1. anaatcalin said,

    Loved it!!! It’s 6.45 on our side of the world and I’m already having my second coffee, and this story is just perfect to go with it. I like Renfield very much, he’s one of my favorite characters in a long row of books, but I’ve fallen crazy in love with Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster. I first “saw” him in the episode with the porn stars and developed a weakness for him. Now it’s getting serious. Super well written, Chris!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you very much, Ana. 🙂

      Wow, that’s the supreme compliment for a writer.

      That one of my characters has become one of your favourite characters in the books you read.

      And that one of my characters- Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster- you’ve fallen in love with.

      Somehow I must have conveyed his personality even though he’s a silent character who never says anything and just receives visions from the present and radio transmissions from the future.

      • anaatcalin said,

        Maybe that just adds to the mystery 🙂 I have a downright crush on him, on Michelangelo. It must’ve been his protection suit designed especially for lobsters that made him look so alluring the first time we “met”. I’m hoping to get to Daniel’s Dragon stories again by this evening, I have a few interests there as well.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL ! 😀

  2. ֆɦɛʀʀɨɛ ɖɛ ʋǟʟɛʀɨǟ said,

    CHRISSSSS!!!! You exposed me!!! hahahaha …
    Oh no … no secret painting …
    The Immortality is in my garden – in fairy land village. LOL
    ahahaha … Another power out break! Now, the doctor need another tank for the lobster.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, another lobster tank will have to be ordered. 😀

      It’s going to be the cost of replacing lobster tanks that will probably be one of the most costly items in the laboratory’s inventory for this year’s Set Enterprises budget. LOL !

      So the secret to your immortality lies in your fairy land garden eh? 🙂

      No doubt both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton will be beating a path to your cottage door to look at your garden. 😀

      • ֆɦɛʀʀɨɛ ɖɛ ʋǟʟɛʀɨǟ said,

        Oh they won’t find the Supernatural Lingzhi mushrooms there … Hidden well among the other plastic mushrooms and the seven dwarfs guarded ’em well … with army of cute blue Smurffies! lol

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        ROTFL ! 😀

  3. Nicholas C. Rossis said,

    Those paintings can be quite dangerous.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Indeed they can. 😉

      And the way they affect psychic lobsters makes them all the more dangerous. 😀

  4. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    HA! I love this! 😀 Yes, gotta’ watch those artists and their paintings!
    HUGS!!! 🙂

  5. Hyperion said,

    I somehow find myself once again, identifying with Michelangelo the psychic lobster. Sherrielock Holmes is one alluring lady even if she is almost 100 years old. I didn’t blow any circuits but I’m positive a few O’rings are blown. 😀

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      ROTFL !

      I too identify with Michelangelo the psychic lobster. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        He’s in our heads!!!!!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Actually if truth be told, it’s all those paintings and sketches of Sherrielock that’s in our heads. 😉

        Our reactions are just the same. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        Well then it’s true. Great minds do think alike.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, that old saying is very true all right. 😀

      • Hyperion said,


      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


  6. Vampire Novels | Hyperion Sturm said,

    […] Renfield and The Modigliani Painting […]

  7. Vampire Novels | Hyperion Sturm said,

    […] Renfield and The Modigliani Painting […]

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: