Day In The Life of Dr. Cadbury Rocher

November 27, 2015 at 9:34 pm (The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Day In The Life of Dr. Cadbury Rocher

The brilliant scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher (who some called “mad”, others called “insane” and the politically correct called “sanity challenged”) sat in his office overlooking the laboratory of Set Enterprises.

He looked down at the laboratory and noticed Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster sleeping peacefully in his lobster tank.

Which was a good thing.

The lobster tank had mysteriously exploded on 7 different occasions the past few weeks.

And the higher-ups on the Board of Directors of Set Enterprises were starting to take notice.

Especially the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s new personal chartered accountant Ayn Rand Nosferatu.

A strange woman. Not quite human. Not quite vampire.

And different from both in that x-rays showed that she had within her chest an ancient Chinese abacus in the place where her heart should have been.

Her office was quite intimidating.

She had a statue of the Titan Atlas shrugging and casting the world down at the feet of a raven that had on its head a marble bust of Adam Smith.

The face of Atlas bore a striking resemblance to Donald Trump and the inscription below the statue read, “Do not give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, your wretched refuse or your homeless.”

On the wall was an oil painting of a sour looking Ebenezer Scrooge.

The painting was titled Portrait of Ebenezer Scrooge Prior To His Visit By The Communist Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future.

Ayn Rand Nosferatu told Dr. Rocher in no uncertain terms that the company would not be buying any more lobster tanks.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher then turned to thoughts of his great grandmother.

It was embarrassing.

His great grandmother was 161 years old, still alive and didn’t look a day over 30.

And to top it off, Renfield R. Renfield had recently hired his (Rocher’s) great grandmother as his personal dominatrix.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher stood up as memories of his own childhood came back to mind.

He subconsciously rubbed his buttocks.

His great grandmother was certainly a woman who knew how to spank.

His great grandmother Sherrielock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes’ twin sister) who kept her maiden name had managed to achieve immortality by eating a Linghzi Supernatural Mushroom that had been specially treated by his great grandfather Dr. Louis Rocher (who was also a great scientific genius) to offset the possible harmful side effect of turning to stone once the mushroom was eaten.

Dr. Louis Rocher had decided not to eat the Supernatural Mushroom right away himself.

He would wait to eat it.

That was a mistake on his part.

As a fighter pilot for the RAF, Louis Rocher ended up dying after being shot down by the Red Baron Manfred Von Richtofen on April 20th 1918 (just a day prior to the Red Baron’s own demise on April 21st 1918).

So the end result was that his great grandmother was immortal without the love of her love Louis by her side.

As Cadbury Rocher looked down at the laboratory, he began to wonder if there was any correlation between Michelangelo’s lobster tanks exploding and nude drawings, sketches and paintings of his great grandmother Sherrielock Holmes being found in the laboratory.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 27th


  1. anaatcalin said,

    A chapter with my crush! 🙂 Thank you. But what is that with the tank exploding because of paintings of Sherrilock? I sure hope Michelangelo kept it to his psychic pastimes and didn’t stare at those. I love your characters! As always, a great piece.

  2. Hyperion said,

    This was a much needed glimpse at the connections between Sherrilock, Michelangelo, and Dr. Rocher. It all makes sense now. I enjoy the interplay between all the characters and their many exploits. Endless joy. It would make a fantastic continuing graphic novel. Talk to Marvel and DC or some of the others and see what happens. I think it would transcend age categories and as you’ve noticed, a lot of the comic characters have spawned a billion dollar industry to include the now well established cosplay and our mutually admired cosplay queen, YaYa Han. Maybe she knows a way….

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks, Daniel.

      It’s strange how this novel came together.

      I originally created Dr. Cadbury Rocher as a minor character back in 2006- as a scientist responsible for the creation of Renfield (cloned from hamster and human DNA) and Amadeus (cloned from the DNA of Amadeus Mozart, actor Alan Rickman and California mass murderer Charles Manson).

      Sherrielock Holmes was a character I created this autumn at Sherrie’s suggestion.

      Interesting how an interconnection was formed out of the blue.

      Just like a chapter I wrote back in 2005 about a British Egyptologist digging in Egypt back in November 1918 and the vampiress Isis appears to him and tells him not to open a certain tomb.

      As I wrote this series of chapters, I thought to myself, why doesn’t Isis want this tomb opened?

      Then I decided the tomb would be that of her evil brother and brother-in-law Set.

      So the tomb was opened and Set was let loose on the world.

      And of course Set would eventually hire Cadbury Rocher and create Renfield and Amadeus and so on and forth.

      It’s interesting how my writing seems to come together even though it wasn’t planned.

      • Hyperion said,

        Writing can be its own mystery. Our inner writer keeps track of the scraps and builds entire worlds from it only to surprise us with some grand reveal when we least expect it.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Exactly. 🙂

  3. ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

    Hah. I love you so much for this, Chris.
    Somehow a sense of sadness are in it as well. A sad moment of love died just as TIME was meant to ended that part of Sherrie-lock’s part. That’s how love is, sometimes …
    Oh so now I have a great grandson??? Great! Maybe I should try to picture him how he looks like – with a handsome face, mysterious brown eyes like his grandmother, a glistening beautiful straight hair that reminds her of her endless seas of black night and a smile so bright as the radiant moon, reminded her much of her beloved Louis …

    You wrote this so beautiful, Chris … 🙂

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you, Sherrie. 🙂

      Glad you found this beautiful and poignant.

      Yes, it is sad that Sherrielock lost her love.

      But now she has a great-grandson.

      So in a sense their love continues on.

      Glad you liked this story. ❤

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        Oh, I had some tears in my eyes when I read it. Sad but simply beautiful.
        Well, I think you know why too … some reasons of love ended when it should not for reasons one cannot really comprehend.

        I have this story put in my heart, Chris. (◡‿◡✿)

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I guess you know from past experience the death of relationships of love.

        So sorry, my dear friend. 😦

        I’m happy I was able to write a story you’ll be able to keep in your heart.

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        Oh, yes. This I will keep in my heart.
        So sad. So beautiful.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

  4. Vampire Novels – Hyperion Sturm said,

    […] Day In The Life of Dr. Cadbury Rocher […]

  5. Dracul Van Helsing said,

    Reblogged this on Dracul Van Helsing and commented:

    Here’s a vampire novel chapter I wrote 3 years ago-

  6. George F. said,

    ““Do not give me your tired, your poor…” Too hysterically funny and satirical Dracul! There is only ONE YOU….OM (Who may or may not exist) G!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you very much! 😀

      Glad to hear that I’m unique and one of a kind. 😊

      • George F. said,

        Aren’t Unique and One of a Kind the same thing? I just tried imitating your humor in my latest post: Paul’s reverse engineered Neocortex, but since there is only one you…I couldn’t do it! LOL!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I guess they are.

        But I have a habit of making statements like that which used to drive my best friend in University Jack Morrow nuts.

        I also used to drive him nuts because I’d have a habit of stating the obvious.

        Like if it was raining, I’d say aloud, “It seems to be raining.”

        And Jack would reply in a Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes tone of voice, “A man with a brilliant grasp of the obvious.”

        I remember one summer, our jobs were as actors in a murder mystery theatrical company and one night we were having a post-performance midnight snack in a restaurant with the rest of the cast.

        Someone held their paper menu too close to the candle on the table and it caught on fire.

        I promptly said, “That menu appears to be on fire. Someone should really grab some water and put it out.”

        Jack angrily in a Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes tone of voice said, “A man with a brilliant grasp of the obvious.”

        While Jack and I were engaging in this highly intellectual discussion, fortunately a member of the cast grabbed a glass of water and threw it on the menu putting it out.

        If Jack and I had been the only ones at the table, I imagine the whole place would have burnt to the ground.

      • George F. said,

        “A man with a brilliant grasp of the obvious.” You know, it’s funny you should mention this. As I was meditating on your writing, I realized that you stating the plainly obvious was funny. For example…you wrote Trump said …”Do not send me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses…” That was PAINFULLY obvious but you stated it and it was funny! So I was walking around all day telling myself…”Hmmmm….maybe I shouldn’t be afraid to point out the painfully obvious because maybe other people can’t see it…” So anyway. There you have it…

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I was reading a new reader’s blog post who wrote a post wondering if Sherlock Holmes was really a genius.

        She said not to disparage Sherlock Holmes at all but she said she wondered if all Holmes had was a good memory for detail and a keen sense of observation.

        She then used the example of how when Holmes explained how he went about deducing something, the reader and Watson thinks, “Of course it’s all so simple now that you’ve explained it.”

        All Holmes did was use a simple process of logic when coming up with his answers she said.

        I wrote in my comment on her post that this is what made Holmes a genius because he used a process of simple logic in coming up with his answers.

        I said most people do not use simple logic in coming up with their viewpoints (saying the empirical evidence for this can be found in most Facebook postings and Twitter tweets and analyzing the voter results of numerous elections around the world).

        And then I said having a good memory for detail and a keen sense of observation actually requires a great deal of mental effort on one’s part so this indeed made Holmes a genius.

        After reading my comment, she said she had to agree with me.

      • George F. said,

        In fact, I’m already bored with that post. I’m gonna take it down faster than usual.

  7. ortensia said,

    Much more clarity came to me now,but boy……dr Cardbury Rocher brain must be fuming with all those thoughts……….might be too much even for a scientist 😉never mind he is sanity challenged one🙄

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes I suppose all those different thoughts coming together in any one mind would make anyone sanity challenged. 😂

  8. thebookwormdrinketh said,

    Wow! Was Trump still a thing THREE YEARS AGO?? It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. Although, at the same time, it feels like an eternity…..

  9. David Redpath said,

    Cause and effect.
    A bird in the claws
    is worth two George Bushs.
    In a literarily challenged
    in need of a good spanking,
    Chris, your writing
    is truly outstanding.

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