Amadeus and Renfield On Feast of Stephen

December 26, 2015 at 7:41 pm (Christmas, Culture, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Amadeus and Renfield On Feast of Stephen

Amadeus Emanon had not touched his breakfast of a dozen egg omelette, 12 pancakes with maple syrup and a large helping of hash browns smothered in gravy.

Renfield sensed that something must be wrong.

“What is it, Amadeus?” Renfield happily munched away on his own breakfast of steak and eggs.

“Well, I’ve been listening to that radio station that’s been playing Christmas songs the past few weeks and it played Christmas songs all day yesterday and then at exactly 12:01 AM today, it stopped playing Christmas songs. I was kind of hoping they’d play Christmas songs a while longer. After all there’s supposed to be 12 days of Christmas aren’t there?” Amadeus inquired.

“Well,” Renfield reached for his bottle of whiskey and took a huge sip, “do you know what date this is, Amadeus?”.

“December 26th,” Amadeus replied.

“Exactly,” Renfield belched, “Boxing Day. After all, people find it more important to save huge bundles of money on clothing and electronics than they do celebrating that God became human and became one with His own creation. And that’s what Boxing Day is all about, Amadeus Emanon.”

And that was Renfield’s 21st Century Linus to Amadeus’ 21st Century Charlie Brown.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 26th


  1. anaatcalin said,

    A gulp of covert wisdom πŸ™‚ I love these

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks, Ana. πŸ™‚

      Yes, Renfield gives No Holes Barred explanations of the way the world actually works. πŸ˜€

  2. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    Linus would be honored! Renfield nails it on the head!
    HUGS!!! πŸ™‚
    PS…I’m still playing Christmas music! Right now, as I type this, Dean Martin is singing “Let it Snow”. πŸ™‚

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Renfield certainly explains how Boxing Day sales have replaced the meaning of Christmas in people’s hearts in the Western world.

      I love that Dean Martin song Let It Snow. πŸ™‚

      • doesitevenmatter3 said,

        When I was a little girl, I saw old Dean Martin/Jerry Lewis movies on Saturday afternoon TV…I fell in love with Dean’s voice! πŸ™‚ I even have my kids loving his voice and they listen to him, too. πŸ™‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        He had a wonderful singing voice.

        As did Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole and many of the other classic greats. πŸ™‚

      • doesitevenmatter3 said,

        Love Nat King Cole and Sam Cooke’s voices! πŸ™‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        They were great voices. πŸ™‚

  3. Hyperion said,

    I might well be that Renfield is the only one with a clear view of the world as it is and the world as it should be.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      That could very well be the case, Daniel.

      • Hyperion said,

        He’s got to school the world soon before it’s too late.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think it’s too late for the world for even Renfield to school it. πŸ˜€

      • Hyperion said,

        Alas, I fear true it is, Obi Wan.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The Dark Side of the Farce is with us.

      • Hyperion said,

        Bwaaaaaah haaaah haaaaaaa! I feel the Farce. The Federation is a true disturbance in the Farce.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        As Captain Quirk was a pain in Spook’s arse. πŸ˜€

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, the people feel the pain in the same ways, LOL!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        With Washington D.C. playing the part of Captain Quirk at the Federal level. πŸ˜€

      • Hyperion said,

        The genesis of the Green Weenie πŸ˜‰

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        With the voice of a Social Co-ordinator in Chief saying, “Take it like a man, Mr. Spook.”

      • Hyperion said,

        “Its yer birthday, not really, not really. Its yer birthday, not really, not really.” Sung to the melody of a 1970’s porn theme song for Behind the Green Door, starring Marilyn Chambers and sponsored by Ivory Soap.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I suppose Mr. Spook will be needing an Ivory Soap enema by the time the Green Weenie makes its rear door exit.

      • Hyperion said,

        Bones is going to soon hate his job.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Very much so. πŸ˜€

  4. ѕнєяяιє βˆ‚Ρ” ναℓєяια said,

    You are so damn brilliant, Chris!
    What would the world do without the wisdom of Christopher?
    Nothing … we will all get bored and stick out the tongue for no particular reason. LOL

    I love Christmas songs – especially from the 50’s. I cried from time to time when i do feel blue on Christmas weeks!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you, Sherrie. πŸ™‚

      Your compliment reminds me of a song The Irish Rovers used to sing, “If it wasn’t for the Irish, what would you do? The world would collapse in a week or two.”

      I’m part Irish so I guess that explains it. πŸ˜€

      Yes, there were a lot of great singers in the 1950s who used to sing great Christmas songs. πŸ™‚

      • ѕнєяяιє βˆ‚Ρ” ναℓєяια said,

        You are not partly the Druids, right? I have a friend who said that his great grandfather was a Druid priest and his grandmother still hold on to those spells book which the family kept for many generations before her … I did teased him to give me an elixir to make me immortal. LOL

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I suppose a couple of millennia ago, my ancestors would have been Druids.

        An elixir to make you immortal eh?

        Sort of like Sherrielock Holmes. πŸ˜€

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