Jack O’ Hare’s Magic Carpet Ride: A Poem

January 5, 2016 at 8:45 pm (Humour, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Jack O’ Hare’s Magic Carpet Ride

Now one might think folks are full of blarney
claiming to see leprechauns near Lake Killarney
but wild hare jack rabbit Jack O’ Hare
as he travelled across the Emerald Isle green and fair
claimed to have seen just that
so he told a Guinness drinking cat.

So Jack and the cat headed out
stumbling across the land round about
till they ran into Seamus the leprechaun
enjoying a dinner of steak and prawn

So Seamus, what’s up?
Jack asked sipping his cup.
Replied the wee leprechaun Seamus
who gazed with telescope at planet Uranus,
“I’ve got some magic mushrooms from Bavaria,
brought to me by a frรคulein barmaid with a lovely pair of…”

“Coconuts!” shouted the cat looking at Seamus’ South Seas food ware
-tropical delights arranged with such care.

“That she had!”
said Seamus very glad.

Explained the leprechaun further, “She got them from Gunter Glockenspiel the Magic Garden elf
who often reads from Sherrie’s books on the shelf
while he warred with the Seven Evil Dwarves in the garden next door
while noble cat Tiger and noble dog Ambos slept in the house on the floor
he help himself to the evil dwarves’ plunder of magic mushrooms galore.

He sent some to me courtesy of Frรคulein Helga
whose pair of knockers is really quite swell-a.”
So the three ate the mushrooms and had to agree
undergoing experiences of cosmic ecstasy
they learned to think psychedelically
and taught the clouds to sing in harmony.

It was really quite the magic carpet ride
stars and mermaids and surging tide
they had much to seek
and nothing to hide
For when they awoke, they found their clothes had gone astray
until they remembered, for 2 of them, it was always this way
while Seamus nude of derriรจre and red of face
ran and hid some place
They discovered he had hid in a stack of hay
and didn’t come out for many a night and many a day.

-A Jack O’ Hare poem
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 5th


  1. anaatcalin said,

    I just love your characters, dear Chris, they have so much personality, and truly each of them has something to say. Very well done!

  2. Hyperion said,

    Wild hare jack rabbits and leprechauns always find a way to do the coolest things. Who knew magic mushrooms and clothes don’t mix?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, that probably explains why Sherrielock Holmes was painted in the nude by Toulouse Lautrac and Modigliani. ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Hyperion said,

        I’m certain mushrooms were involved and maybe a glass of the green fairy.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, many a tale has absinthe spun
        along with opium and a glass of rum.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think it was the fuel for lots of creative endeavors. Mostly lounging and dreaming, but that’s part of the creative process, I believe.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        You may enjoy this poem I wrote 3 years ago about the drinking of absinthe and creativity.

        Plus you may like the hero of the poem who’s an absinthe drinking green dragon.

        He may have been the forgotten genius who invented the Orgasmatron machine for the Black Dragons. ๐Ÿ˜›


      • Hyperion said,

        It was a very fine poem indeed. Poor green dragon…It was fun while it lasted. ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, for one brief shining moment in the dragon’s life, there was Camelot… minus Sir Gawain’s lance going up his muck shute. ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Hyperion said,

        Ouch! What a way to treat a friend of the King.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, the things some folks did back then just to earn a knighthood and a seat at the Round Table. ๐Ÿ˜›

      • Hyperion said,

        We were rough on the buffalo too. That got us scalped by Chief Yelling Bear and his band of merry men.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, the days of Chief Sitting Bull and Little Big Horn.

        Now, these are the days of Chief Throwing Bull and Little Big Ass.

      • Hyperion said,

        Haahahahahahahhhaaaaaa! Yes, lots of political bull is blasting from that @$$

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Never has community organizing raised such a stink.

      • Hyperion said,

        It puts pig farming in a more respectable light, I’d say.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Washington is now longing for the days of pork barreling politics.

      • Hyperion said,

        Where are all those dynamic corrupt politicians that kept everything greased and sliding along when you need them?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Well as Peter, Paul and Mary would probably sing in answer to your question, “…. gone to graveyards, everyone.”

      • Hyperion said,

        I’m conflicted. It seems the pork-bellied corrupt officials we had before did a much better job than the Willy Nilly Assclowns we have today. I hate it when I have to chose between the lesser evil. I’d prefer a better choice but the pool is very mucky down at the political bottom.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, it is strange how that works.

        Like in the days of the so-called smoked filled back rooms at the conventions, better candidates for high office were actually chosen rather than through the primary system where the voters supposedly selected the candidates.

        Like at the 1944 Democratic Presidential convention where the back room power brokers decided that Roosevelt better drop Henry Wallace as Vice-President and select Harry Truman as his running mate since they knew Roosevelt probably wouldn’t live much longer.

        The power brokers made a wise choice.

        Henry Wallace was a practicing occultist and a real weirdo in his world view- the sort of person who would be backed by America’s New Age super mama Oprah Winfrey and her droves of flaky disciples among the American electorate.

        Harry Truman selected by the power brokers went on to become a great President in his own right.

      • Hyperion said,

        Now the power brokers are the liberal rich elitists that want all their perversions codified and the opposition vilified. We need to bring bourbon, cigars, and hookers back to politics to straighten this mess out. Where’s Fannie Fox and Wilber Mills when you need them.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That’s a good point.

        An excellent campaign slogan Bring Back Bourbon, Cigars and Hookers. Let’s Make America Great Again.

        I can already feel a Draft Renfield Movement coming on.

      • Hyperion said,

        Bwaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaa! I’d vote for Renfield with Amadeus as his VP and Michelangelo as Chief of Staff. Then Sherrielock Holmes would make an excellent Secretary of Defense. She’d whip things into shape.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        An era that will be looked upon as a new golden age in American politics. ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Hyperion said,

        I replied but WP was acting up, don’t know if you got the reply or not but Do see the Renfield era as a marked improvement. Camelot II.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Camelot II indeed. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Hyperion said,

        Who’s Kennedy, we want Renfield!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        President Renfield: I know the best place to stick a Cuban cigar…

        Anderson Cooper: That was President Renfield speaking from the Coital Office of the Western White House located on the Moonlite Bunny Ranch east of Carson City, Nevada. For CNN, I’m Anderson Cooper…

      • Hyperion said,

        I think you have another best seller trying to write itself. ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


      • Hyperion said,

        Another Vampire Novel posted today and lots of Twitter action. People like it!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That’s great to hear, Daniel. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Hyperion said,

        Renfield is catching everyone’s attention ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


  3. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    This was fun to read aloud! Vivid word pics and rhymey rhymes!
    Jack O-Hare’s life is full of adventure and no boring! ๐Ÿ˜›
    HUGS!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. ั•ะฝั”ััฮนั” โˆ‚ั” ฮฝฮฑโ„“ั”ัฮนฮฑ said,

    What the …. So, they DID that all in my garden while I travelled up in France or what???? It must the King Toupee of Hell who ordered them to search for my magic mushrooms, right?

    I’m going to build my own terracota Chinese army in my garden and guarding my plastic fairy garden! LOL

    With General Jack O’ Hare provide his mass production of carrot ammunitions! With all the veges. Healthy way of attacking and the enemies got to eat ’em all till they exploded!

    ( โ—กโ€ฟโ—ก *)

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