Ash Wednesday

February 10, 2016 at 7:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Ash Wednesday

It was Ash Wednesday 2016.

And so Tim Horton’s Restaurants were already advertising their Roll Up The Rim To Win TV commercials.

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had been told years ago by someone who was involved in advertising, “If you’ve ever noticed, Tim Horton’s always starts their Roll Up The Rim To Win coffee cup campaign in conjunction with Lent. There’s a very good reason for that. Because Tim Horton’s had begun to notice that when the Lenten season started, their coffee sales decreased. Because many people were giving up drinking coffee for Lent. So Tim Horton’s started their Roll Up The Rim To Win campaign. By offering the exciting prospect of winning exorbitant grand prizes by someone rolling up the rim to win on their coffee cup, people started giving up other things besides coffee for Lent.”

Since he was told that by the man in advertising back in 2007, Van Helsing paid attention ever since.

Sure enough, Tim Horton’s Roll Up The Rim To Win TV Commercials always appeared around Ash Wednesday and then vanished after Easter.

“Greed wins out over Christ every time,” the demon Mammon explained to guests in his Park Avenue penthouse apartment in New York City.

Meanwhile Dracul Van Helsing was amused by an email he had just received from the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

It seems that Qonzilqointec’s spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl had decided to crash this Friday’s meeting between Pope Francis and Moscow Patriarch Kirill (the head of the Russian Orthodox Church) at Jose Marti International Airport in Havana, Cuba.

Meanwhile in London on this Ash Wednesday evening, the New Orleans vampiress and songstress Angelique Dumont wearing a purple evening dress was struggling in the middle of a fierce windstorm as she left the theatre where she had been singing the role of Mary Magdalene in a performance of Jesus Christ Superstar.

It was strange.

Instead of blowing snow, the wind was blowing great quantities of ash all around her.

“Where did all this ash come from?” Angelique asked herself as she wrapped her cape tightly around her.

In his bedroom at the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion, Amadeus Emanon was having a dream about the movie director Alfred Hitchcock.

In the dream, Alfred Hitchcock was being interviewed by Barbara Walters.

Barbara Walters: Mr. Hitchcock, why did you always start your weekly TV show with the words “Good evening.” ?

Alfred Hitchcock: Well you see, Barbara, when I was a boy, I attended a Jesuit school for boys where my teachers were all Jesuit priests. As a result of that experience, it has always been my dream to someday direct a movie about a Jesuit priest who’s elected Pope. This Pope will prepare the world to accept the coming of the Antichrist. When he’s first elected Pope, when he goes out on the balcony of Saint Peter’s to address the world for the first time, instead of saying something like “Praised be Our Lord Jesus Christ” (the words one might expect from a new Pope), he shall greet the world with a calm and quiet “Good evening” or as they say in Italian, “Buona sera.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 10th


  1. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    I hope Barbara W. didn’t make Alfred H. cry. 😉 😛 (Love his movies!)
    Excellent chapter, Christopher!
    HUGS!!! 🙂

  2. ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

    Barbara should ask him this … : Mr Hitchcock, why ‘The Birds’?

    Alfred H : And why not, Barbara? You certainly won’t take it serious if I write ‘The Chicken’, right? Or ‘The Hen and the Rooster, perhaps? Pretty ridiculous.

    Barbara : *blink for a second and laughing*

    Alfred H : It’s not funny, Barbara. You will definitely will never look at your turkey the same way. Ever again.


    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      LOL !

      Barbara will have a bird the next time she sees a turkey. 😀

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        hahahaha ….

        But I still do eat chickens and feeding pigeons in the park.
        They love to eat bread crumbs. 😛

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I guess people would look at you strangely, Sherrie, if you did that vice-versa.

        If you ate the pigeons and fed chickens in the park instead. 😀

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        Chickens in the park? That is a weird picture … LOL But hoping that those chicken are not nearing the KFC. Chickens to catch for free! hehehe …

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, you don’t see too many chickens supporting Bernie Sanders for President.

        They think he’s related to the KFC Colonel. 😀

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        hahahaha … My near 12 years old son did asked me about the face of the old man on KFC’s box. He asked me if that is the White Buffallo general? I was like ???? And he responded they all look like White Buffalo. But when I did asked how did he know White Buffalo and he answered that is because he looks like it. I was like ????? hahahaha …

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

        Yes, I wonder how your son knew about the White Buffalo.

        Of course I think legends about the White Buffalo are found among the Sioux tribe as well as the Blackfoot.

        Maybe he heard the legend from your Lakota Sioux friend.

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        Maybe he did. My son is an autist and he knew some things he cannot explained. He can draw a city map only by seeing it once and he knew a whole map of hundred numbers on one card by just once looking at it. An amazing brain he has. But being an autist does make him suffering certain things and he fought hard loads of odd fears.

        But yes, you are so right about that. My son spend much time with our Lakota Sioux friend and the old man brought the kids in an out of the woods from time to time to learn the ways of wolves, he said. Honour is what you need to lead a noble life, he told my son once. And my boy always quoted that line even though he does not really understand it … not yet … but one day he will, for sure. 🙂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, chances are that your son heard about the White Buffalo from the Lakota Sioux gentleman.

        And buffalo do look like they have goatee beards.

        And since Col. Sanders had a white goatee beard, he’d look like a white buffalo. 🙂

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        Well, he does! 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        There was also a famous man of the Wild West who became a showman- Buffalo Bill Cody.

        Remember him?

        He too had a goatee beard like a buffalo.

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        Oh yes! I know that Wild West show. It is there that I got to learned to know of Annie Oakley and Texas Girl.

        I guessed, maybe because of Bill Cody that my son perhaps had thought on the KFC guy that looked like the white buffalo. lol


      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, that would explain it, Sherrie. 🙂

        Buffalo Bill Cody and Col. Sanders do have very similar looking beards. 😀

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        Don’t all of the men at that time look the same??? I wonder if the women do recognize their husband in the dark night when they come home drunken? LOL

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Not all. Abraham Lincoln had a beard and no moustache.

        John Wilkes Booth had a moustache but no beard.

        Edgar Allan Poe had a moustache and no beard.

        He also had raven droppings on his suit jacket shoulders which his long-lost love Lenore pointed out to him when she returned from her extended stay in the countryside. 😀

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        Nice. Raven on the shoulder.
        Then I get an hawk or an eagle, perhaps an owl on my shoulder.
        Would make a dramatic look.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Very dramatic indeed. 😀

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