George Belvedere Duhamel: A Vampire Wild West Tale

June 27, 2016 at 7:12 pm (Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , )

George Belvedere Duhamel

George Belvedere Duhamel was an outlaw.

He went by his middle name Belvedere.

He was the son of a Louisiana fur trader and a Haitian stage dancer.

He was born in New Orleans in 1840.

He joined the Confederate Army in 1861 although he mistakenly thought he was signing up to be a member of a traveling Shakespeare theatrical company.

He mistook the Confederate Army uniforms outside the recruiting station for actor “soldiers” in the Volscian army after Caius Marcius Coriolanus the great Roman general had defected to the Volscians from his native Rome because he found the plebs in the city to be quite revolting.

He was quite surprised to find himself in an actual Army after signing on the dotted line.

Belvedere spent the greater part of the Civil War running away from Confederate soldiers to avoid being shot for desertion (he did not have the stomach for fighting).

He also spent the other part of the Civil War running away from Union soldiers who wanted to shoot him for wearing a Confederate Army uniform.

Belvedere happened to be having a corned beef, lox and cream cheese sandwich in the Appomattox Court House when Confederate General Robert E. Lee surrendered to Union General Ulysses S. Grant on April 9th 1865.

When a black and white photograph of the event was taken for posterity (the photo was taken in black and white because colour photography hadn’t been invented yet), Belvedere was the disheveled looking Confederate soldier in the background looking very downcast as he stood behind Lee and Grant.

Belvedere was looking very downcast not because Lee had just surrendered to Grant but because the storekeeper who had sold him the corned beef, lox and cream cheese sandwich had neglected to include a dill pickle in his bag when he handed it to him.

Because Belvedere had worn the uniform of the losing side in the Civil War, he had trouble finding employment after the war.

He wasn’t hired in the North because he was considered a damned rebel and he wasn’t hired in the South because he was considered a damned deserter so he was told to head to the Wild West to seek his damned fortune.

He began his journey west by getting his foot caught in a beaver dam while crossing a stream for which he was cussed out in beaver talk by the dam beavers.

All in all, it was a damned inauspicious start to the beginning of his outlaw career out west.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 8th
2016.

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21 Comments

  1. ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

    Ok, I get it!
    It was because of the damn beavers he had became an outlaw then.
    It was final for him! LOL
    hahahaha …

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, that’s right. 😀

      It was those dam beavers that drove him to become an outlaw.

      LOL !

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        And also it was the shopkeeper fault!
        For not including the dill pickle.
        Geeezzz … not without the dill pickle, please.
        LOL

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

        Yes, a corned beef, lox and cream cheese sandwich has to have a dill pickle as a finishing touch. LOL !

        The same with Montreal Smoked Meat sandwiches.

        Got to have a dill pickle as well. LOL !

        When I ordered those sandwiches in a Delicattasen in Edmonton, a dill pickle was always included. Yummy!

        Yes, not getting a dill pickle drove Belvedere to a life of outlawry. LOL !

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        Indeed, and it is the same when you do not include dill pickle for your pregnant wife. It is a fatal mistake! You’ll find a monster came out and bite you because you did not include the dill pickle! LOL

        It makes a wife an outlaw later! hahaha …

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        ROTFL ! 😀

        Very well put, Sherrie. 😀

        Yes, because someone did not bring his pregnant wife a dill pickle with her ice cream, that turned her into an outlaw.

        LOL !

        That’s brilliant, Sherrie. ❤

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        hahaha ..
        The next story you should write ‘Murder on Dill Pickle’. LOL

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

        He “murdered the dill pickle by sticking a toothpick into it and eating it”.

        Then he looked in the refrigerator.

        There were more dill pickles in the jar.

        He laughed as he reached for the jar of dill pickles and the cold meat sandwich. 😀

      • ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

        Very cruel murder story, ever!
        LOL

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Very cruel indeed.

        LOL !

  2. The sarejessian said,

    More, more Mon are.

  3. Hyperion said,

    Damn Yankees, Damn Rebels, Damn Lee for quiting, Damn Grant for winning, Damn Appomattox, Damn Delicatessens forgetting dill pickles. And dam beavers. Gosh! I think that just made an outlaw out of me. This was Classic Dracul Humor. You still got it, my friend. I laughed so hard last weeks dill pickle splattered on my monitor. Now, where did I put my magic Sherrie mushroom cleaner at?

  4. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    Vampires everywhere are stoked that you shared about one of their Wild West pard’ners! 😛
    I can’t remember…have you ever seen the movie “What We Do in the Shadows”? It’s SO funny! 😀
    Great story, Christopher! 🙂
    HUGS!!! 🙂
    PS…I’ve been super busy lately, then my internet went down, and then I was still waiting on my last cancer-check results…wanted to get them before I blogged, so I could let everyone what was going on. So, I finally got to blog today.

  5. Ghost and Rider Part Three | Dracul Van Helsing said,

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