Belvedere In Hayden, Colorado

June 29, 2016 at 7:53 pm (Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Belvedere In Hayden, Colorado

By the time Belvedere arrived in the town of Hayden, Colorado in June 1880 ( a town no longer in existence), he was tired of being an outlaw.

The final straw for him was when he found his name misspelled on a Wanted poster in a post office when he went in to buy stamps.

He decided to give up being an outlaw.

Thus when he rode into Hayden on his not-so-loyal horse Wildflower one June morning and noticed the Bartender Wanted sign on the window of The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon (with the word Bartender spelled correctly), he decided to apply for the job.

The proprietress of The Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon was a startlingly beautiful Englishwoman by the name of Sherrielock Holmes.

She wore a very beautiful red evening dress with black ruffled sleeves when she met him.

Although Belvedere had no experience being a bartender, she was intrigued with his life story and laughed uproariously as he recounted his past exploits.

She hired him and personally trained him as bartender.

One night as he threw the last of the drunks out of the saloon (well it was actually Sherrielock who thrashed them out the door with her whip), he was closing up the saloon when the town’s sheriff Franklin P. Peabody approached.

“Evening, Belvedere,” the sheriff took off his hat and spit chewing tobacco on the ground.

“Evening, Sheriff,” Belvedere put on his hat and put chewing tobacco in his mouth.

“You know townsfolk are claiming that there’s a vampire in town,” the sheriff looked towards the west and watched the last of the sun setting behind the mountains.

“A vampire? You mean like those bloodsuckers of medieval myth and legend?” Belvedere tried to blow bubbles with his chewing tobacco but failed.

“That’s right,” Sheriff Peabody nodded.

“But that’s crazy,” said Belvedere.

“That’s what I say,” Peabody agreed.

Peabody walked down the street towards his sheriff’s office and Belvedere stood there pondering the moonlight.

He decided to spit out his chewing tobacco.

Belvedere did so.

Right as a bat flew by.

Belvedere was positive that the bat swore at him in Romanian.

-A western vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 10th


  1. Natasha Pea said,

    haha that was funny!

  2. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    HA! 😛
    I’m loving Belvedere and his adventures! 😀
    Having your name misspelled on your wanted poster IS the worst thing ever! (Not that I’d know this from personal experience or anything! 😛 )
    HUGS!!! 🙂

  3. ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

    LOL wah hahaha …
    The last part where the bat swore in Romanian is very classic.
    Love that one.
    Spat out some coffee just now reading this. hahaha …

    Uh, me being bartender-ress in my own Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom saloon. That is very western classic. LOL

    Love this!

  4. Hyperion said,

    Bwaaa haaa haaa! This is great stuff, Chris. I could totally hear that bat yelling, “Hei, tu! Am bătut fata ta,” as the Count D flew by.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks, Daniel. 🙂

      I take it a Romanian Orthodox nun would probably be quite shocked if she read what you just wrote there. LOL !

      • Hyperion said,

        Oh, on the contrary, Chris. All the Romanian Orthodox Nuns talk like that. Especially the ones that teach in the schools. I’m sure they would say it better than my Google Translator, 🙂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

  5. Ghost and Rider Part Three | Dracul Van Helsing said,

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