Wilkie The Cat In New York: A Poem

July 30, 2016 at 12:51 pm (Humour, Literature, Poetry) (, , , )

There with pork on his fork
stood Wilkie The Cat in New York
In the middle of Times Square
looking at the lights so fair
He pulled out a comb and combed his hair
while Mitzi took her time deciding what to wear
when she finally decided, night had given way to day
and Central Park coach horses were home eating hay

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday July 27th 2016.

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Playing Baseball Against Stormy Skies: A Poem

July 29, 2016 at 2:09 pm (Life, Nature, Poetry, Sports) (, , , )

I passed by a baseball field last night
A fierce thunderstorm was approaching from the west
The sky was dark and gray
The clouds resembled angry dragons
and angry towering giants.
A strong wind blew in from the west
and trees swayed strongly off the field

Yet the players continued to play their game
They ran around the bases in the strong cool breeze
The pitcher continued to pitch
and the catcher continued to catch
save when the hitter hit
and infielders and midfielders and outfielders
continued to move on the field

Judging from their faces, they looked so much more alive
than say if they had been playing baseball on a hot sunny day
The approaching storm cloud and the powerful cool breeze
kept things cool
so they were able to play the game with more intensity
and less lethargy
than if they had been playing in hot sun

Of course once the downpour and lightning hit
that probably wouldn’t have been so much fun
I did not stay to watch that outcome

I suppose the trick is to play the game against the storm clouds
and against the strong cool breeze
but to know when to come in out of the rain.

-A poem written by Christopher
Friday July 29th 2016

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Wilkie The Cat Meets The Giant Rat: A Poem

July 28, 2016 at 1:28 pm (Humour, Nature, Poetry) (, , )

Wilkie The Cat Meets The Giant Rat: A Poem

Wilkie the Cat
met a giant rat
noticing the size difference
he decided to scat

-A poem written by Christopher
Tuesday July 26th 2016

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I’m In A Homeless Shelter

July 27, 2016 at 1:46 pm (Life, Personal essays) (, , , )

I’m In A Homeless Shelter

Well I’ve spent the past 5 nights in a homeless shelter in case any of you have been wondering where I am.

I got evicted from my Vancouver apartment last week because I had no money to pay the rent this month.

That was the end result of not being able to find a job for 18 months from January 2015 to last month June 2016.

So I begged money to buy coffee so I can be in a cafe with free wi-fi to post this entry since my mobile phone company cancelled my service last Friday July 22nd because I hadn’t paid them in 3 months (counting pennies to pay my rent).

-A painful personal essay
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 27th 2016.

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Pokemon Go: A Poem

July 24, 2016 at 3:36 pm (Commentary, Culture, Poetry) ()

Pokemon Go

Pokemon, Pokemon, get the app, you’re the man
Find the monster when you can,
look out, here comes the Pokemon

Stand around, look at your phone
lookin’ spaced out, you’re in the zombie zone

Get run over, walk into walls
as long as you find where the Pokemon crawls,
look out, here comes the Pokemon.

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday July 22nd 2016
to be sung to the tune
of the theme song of the
Spider-Man cartoon TV

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It’s Never Easy: A Poem

July 20, 2016 at 4:57 pm (Life, Personal essays, Poetry) (, , , )

It’s Never Easy: A Poem

It’s never easy leaving the place one’s called home for 4 years
It’s funny how when one leaves a certain place
It’s the good things that you liked about it that come flooding to the forefront of your mind
while the bad things go to the back
leaving one feeling sad
Unfortunately the rents here got way out of control
and misfortune seemed to reign over me when I was here
I don’t know what will unfold at my new destination
It’s a scary feeling
The unknown
I just hope God is watching over me
and it will be all right in the end.

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday July 20th 2016
upon leaving Vancouver, British Columbia

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Wilkie The Cat: The Spy Who Got A Cold: A Poem

July 18, 2016 at 4:50 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, Poetry) (, , )

Wilkie The Cat: The Spy Who Got A Cold: A Poem

Wilkie stood outside the mysterious looking door
It was during the height of the Cold War
He blew
his nose yet one more time
drinking hot tea with lime

What a time to be fighting off a cold
This was the time for spies to be bold
His contact for this evening was the French spy Mitzi
who always dressed so ritzy
His eyes always bulged out of his head when he saw her
And standing on end was his entire fur

Mitzi approached swaying her skirt
Wilkie wore dark glasses so as not to appear a flirt
“What’s the password?” she asked as she swayed by
He’d forgotten the password- damn! what a guy!
“I can’t remember!” The poor cat hit his head
Mitzi put some lipstick on her lips- rouge red!
“That’s not the password!” She said.

She swayed on down the street
looking so pretty and neat
while Wilkie hit his head with his feet.

Not all spy tales have happy endings
some can drive a cat around the bendings
And that’s what happened to Wilkie this night
Forgetting his password wasn’t too bright!

-A spy poem
written by Christopher
Monday July 18th

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Wilkie and The UFO Encounter: A Poem

July 15, 2016 at 8:22 pm (Humour, News, Poetry) (, , , , )

Wilkie and The UFO Encounter: A Poem

Wilkie The Cat was taking a rest
having won a dance contest where he was the best
He decided to take a walk down to the lake
And took along a piece of cake

The cool cat meowed and munched
then helped himself to a Crispy Crunch
It was getting dark
so sang the lark
but the owl wasn’t giving a hoot
while Wilkie sat and played his flute

The moon emerged and shone its light
Stars came out and shone so bright
Suddenly there was a whirling sound
and a bright light shone upon the ground

Wilkie looked up and there was a bright shaped disc
Wilkie’s tail gave his fur a frisk
This was indeed very strange
an ET was quite in range

Stairs descended
His fur upended
Wilkie looked up and saw alien grays
Was this, he thought, the End of Days?

The aliens said, Come with us, we want to poke and probe you
Then play the Pokemon app and drink Mountain Dew

Wilkie noticed the ET grays were completely nude
what in the universe? This is so crude
And also somewhat rude
Wilkie reflected
energy injected
And took off down the road
not waiting for the ET motherlode

For his mother had warned him to beware of aliens not wearing panties
For they’d take him to the cleaners
and eat all his candies
while NASA’s echelons mocked him while sipping their brandies

-A poem written by Christopher
Friday July 15th 2016.

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A Poem In Honour of Shark Awareness Day

July 14, 2016 at 4:46 pm (Humour, News, Poetry) (, )

A Poem In Honour of Shark Awareness Day

Mabel was a tree hugger
She loved hugging trees
Everywhere she went, she hugged trees

Mabel was a great conservationist
She read the papal encyclical on the environment Laudato Si both backwards and forwards
She had heard that today was Shark Awareness Day
A day for promoting the protection of sharks from extinction

She hurried down to the beach to see if she could spot a shark
She spotted a Great White a few miles out from shore and swam towards it
She gave the Great White Shark a hug in honour of Shark Awareness Day

As Frank and Joe stood on shore watching the spectacle and its aftermath,
Frank remarked,
“I wonder if that Great White Shark’s mother ever warned him not to chew his food so quickly.”

“Well if she did,” Joe answered, “he sure isn’t following her advice.”

“I guess we can scratch Mabel’s name off the list of Definite Attendees at next week’s club luncheon,” Frank remarked.

“Reckon we can,” Joe nodded, “I really don’t feel much like swimming today.”

“Neither do I,” Frank agreed, “I really don’t feel ending up like someone’s just desserts.”

-A narrative poem
written by Christopher
Thursday July 14th

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Wilkie The Cat: A Poem

July 12, 2016 at 5:01 pm (Humour, Literature, Poetry) (, , )

Wilkie The Cat: A Poem

And so stood Wilkie the Cat
playing Cricket with a bat
And when the game had finished
He was feeling thirsty and famished

So the feline went down to the local pub
where he ordered some beer and grub
He ate, drank and went home to the tub
where he washed
his sponge squashed

He dried himself off
and said with a cough
tomorrow I dance the Tennessee Waltz
and sneezed after inhaling sea salts

For Wilkie the Cat had entered a dance contest
As far as dancers went, he thought he was the best

And so at Studio 50 x 4
like Fred Astaire he waltzed through the door
There was Mitzi looking pritzy
his dance partner for this night
after several martinis she was really quite tight

But they danced and they pranced
They really looked entranced
Doing the beautiful Tennessee waltz
as Simon Cowell ate his chocolate malts
He gave them a perfect score
and they took 1st prize out the door
where Tipsy Mitzi dropped it on the shore
Wilkie washed off the sand
and motioned to the band
And they played once more
As Simon did snore
They played the beautiful Tennessee Waltz
As in the evening breeze
Wilkie did sneeze
His whiskers dangling with sea salts

-A poem written by Christopher
Tuesday July 12th 2016.

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