Belvedere and The Nazi-Soviet Pact

August 24, 2016 at 4:27 pm (Comedy, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Poetry, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

On August 23rd 1939, Belvedere the ghost of the Ghost White Salamander was working as a performer in a Berlin cabaret that was in danger of being closed by the Nazis due to what Josef Goebbels considered subversive activity inside.

As Belvedere was about to begin performing, he was informed of the signing of the Nazi-Soviet Pact also known as the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact in Moscow- which guaranteed a pact of non-aggression between the Nazi and Soviet regimes.

Belvedere decided to change his song from Der Fuhrer Has A Stupid Moustache and Haircut (which was a popular hit with the cabaret’s subversive audiences) to a song that would parody the recent signing of the pact between Hitler and Stalin.

Belvedere appeared on stage as the Ghost White Salamander of the New World (since he was the ghost of a ghost white salamander from the New World) and started singing:

Only yesterday, yes it was only yesterday
Naziism was the anti-Communist way
Communism was the anti-Fascist way
Hitler and Stalin would not dance
and in one another’s arms lay
but alas, that was yesterday

Now Hitler with his bad haircut
and Stalin with his vodka shaped gut
will leave the rest of the world in a rut
Yes, Stalin with his moustache bushy like a walrus
and Hitler who looks like someone who just fell off the bus
will now kiss and make up
two devils will now sup
what blood will now flow from this cup
when opposing serpents dance together
you can expect stormy weather
Blood showers are called for
innocent people will hit the floor
in the Hitlerian-Stalinesque bath of gore….

At that moment, Belvedere’s performance came to an end as the cabaret was raided by irate looking members of the Gestapo.

Fortunately for Belvedere, since he was a ghost, he was able to vanish into thin air.

Patrons in the audience weren’t so lucky.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 23rd 2016.

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24 Comments

  1. Nicholas C. Rossis said,

    History does go around in circles, doesn’t it? Sigh…

  2. Hyperion said,

    I wonder what Belvedere the ghost of the ghost white salamander will sing at the presidential inauguration. Will it be a symphony of criminal hearts or the Reggae of Racism? Perhaps only Michelangelo the psychic lobster knows for sure.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      That’s right. Only Michelangelo knows for sure as the Last Judgement falls upon America.

      And it will be no beautiful Sistine Chapel ceiling scene when that happens.

      • Hyperion said,

        Dante’s inferno comes to mind. Not sure why…

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, the 9th Circle of Hell.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, sadly. I think that is the part where we are ground into little protein pellets, fed to cats, pooped into a cat box until the dog eats us and then later recombines all the incompatible souls into one large dog turd and scattered in the barren soil of hell’s half acre.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And the lost souls will be singing or rather screaming that old television song from the ’60s, “Green Acres is the place to be…”

      • Hyperion said,

        LOL! I remember that show and Petticoat Junction. Now that was how life should be. 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That indeed is how life should be. 🙂

        I loved those two shows as a kid.

        A farm, a general store, friendly people, Arnold the Pig who could predict the weather LOL !

        Yes, I liked that song, “And that’s Uncle Joe… he’s a moving kind of slow at the junction….. Petticoat Junction…’

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, indeedy! That’s the one 😀 Now I know why Uncle Joe was moving kinda slow. I didn’t get it back in the day. 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        He was busy looking at all the petticoats hanging out the window and hoping to catch a glimpse of one of the women without their petticoats. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        And ths that sound that resembled a train whistle was actually old Joe blowing an O’ring.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Exactly. 😀

  3. Natasha Pea said,

    Gun shaped like vodka? lol. Do you remember Yeltsin, the Russian president? He was always drunk. Sometimes he couldn’t even leave the plane because he was so loaded.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      That’s right. I remember when his plane landed in Dublin, he was supposed to come off the plane to inspect an Irish Army honour guard.

      The guard was lined up at the airport but there was no sign of Yeltsin getting off the plane.

      Later, it was announced that Yeltsin had come down with a severe head cold and wouldn’t be able to come off the plane.

      But of course, everybody knew that the real reason was that Yeltsin was drunk out of his mind. 😀

      • Natasha Pea said,

        Lmao!!! That’s so funny. I don’t remember that because I was really young, but I heard stories like that haha. There is a really funny video of his drunk moments on youtube. Here it is:

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

        Thanks for the video! :S

  4. anaatcalin said,

    If only other people back then would’ve been able to vanish in thin air as well… An amazing piece of work, truly representative and gurgling with true substance. The imagistic is also wonderful!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks very much, Ana. 🙂

      Yes, it’s a pity that Hitler and Stalin and all their henchmen hadn’t vanished into thin air.

  5. shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

    Those days when getting drunk in politics is a ‘MUST’ for them as drug is the other Option like heroin, Amphetamines, Barbiturates, Benzodiazepines, Cannabis. Cocaine, Designer Drugs, Ecstasy, LSD, Methadone. Methamphetamine … LED Light, Glue, Asteroid, stalactites and stalagmites, etc … Ok, the last few words are jokes! LOL

    Now, October Fest is coming soon and so politicians are on the way to Drunken Land!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I hear a lot of the Oktoberfest activities happen in Bavaria, Sherrie. 😉

      So you’ll be writing a lot of interesting blog posts the next few weeks.

      Posts that start, “Hic! HIc! Wow! Was that ever a large mug I downed. Hic! Hic! Now what was I going to write about? I can’t remember. Oh well, I’m tired now after drinking all those large mugs served to me by voluptuous barmaids with nice pairs of knockers. (Hm. Drinking all that beer seems to have affected my sexual orientation as well. Hic!).”

      LOL !

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