Renfield and The Brangelina Break- Up

October 7, 2016 at 2:58 pm (Celebrities, Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Movies, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield and The Brangelina Break-Up

Renfield R. Renfield had been called to 10 Downing Street for an emergency meeting with British Prime Minister Theresa May.

“What do you wish to see me about, Mrs. May?” Renfield declined an offer from the Prime Minister to be seated (having recently been kidnapped by members of Sherrielock Holmes’ Dominatrix Services).

“Have you heard of the Robur The Conquerer files?” Mrs. May asked the genetically created shapeshifting hamster/human.

“I have,” Renfield nodded.

In fact, many nights earlier, Renfield had been in possession of the Robur The Conquerer files prior to his abduction.

Now the Robur the Conquerer files were being published in The Times of London in a series of articles written by George Belvedere Duhamel who wrote a column bearing the nom-de-plume The Ghost White Salamander.

“It has come to the attention of Her Majesty’s Government that the Robur files bring little known insight into the recent marital break up of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie,” Mrs. May looked quite solemn.

Renfield was astounded by the Prime Minister’s remark.

He thought to himself such was the world’s fixation with celebrity gossip and scandals in the early 21st Century that even would-be world conquerers (such as Robur) and sovereign national governments (such as that of Great Britain) were now preoccupied with celebrity break-ups.

“Really?” Renfield coughed.

“Yes, apparently one of them is a spy for the Russians and the other one isn’t,” Mrs. May explained, “this has resulted in a marital breakdown and a huge financial windfall for some lucky divorce lawyers.”

“Which one is the spy for the Russians and which one isn’t?” Renfield asked.

“The Robur files do not elaborate,” Mrs. May answered, “that’s what we want you to find out for us.”

“Okay,” Renfield agreed.

Later at home in the colossal London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, Renfield began the search to discover which one of the power couple- the Brangelina- was the Russian spy.

He began his investigation by putting in a phone call to the editor of The National Enquirer newspaper.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 26th
2016.

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6 Comments

  1. Nicholas C. Rossis said,

    I’m getting images of spy vs spy here!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Ah yes, MAD Magazine with its great strips.

      They had some great stuff- Spy vs. Spy, Dave Berg’s The Lighter Side as well as MAD’s What Me Worry? kid Alfred E. Neumann.

  2. Hyperion said,

    I was a bit worried when Angelina removed her breasts and later uterus that she might have removed everything that Brad held dear in his life. Brad needs to get a firm grip on his stiffening resolve to penetrate other avenues of feminine delights and see Angelina in a new role as the mother of their 7 children.

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