Michelangelo Calls U.S. Election

October 11, 2016 at 5:13 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield decided to ask Michelangelo the genetically created Psychic Lobster who would win the U.S. Presidential election.

As Amadeus ate potato chips, Renfield communicated through computer to Michelangelo, “Who will win the U.S. Presidential election?”.

Michelangelo swam down to the bottom of the aquarium and picked up a plastic trumpet out of the sand.

He then used his lobster claws to hold the trumpet and put it to his mouth and pretend to blow it.

“Is this your way of telling me that Donald Trump will win the U.S. Presidential election?” Renfield asked.

Michelangelo nodded yes.

And then went back to sleep.

A little moon came down over Michelangelo’s head.

And a cow jumped over it.

Candied sugar plums and gingerbread men also came and danced around Michelangelo.

“Michelangelo seems to have very vivid dreams,” Amadeus remarked as he ate the Bavarian Wild Mushroom Flavoured Potato Chips.

“Yes,” Renfield nodded, “so Michelangelo is calling on Donald Trump to win the U.S. Presidential Election.’

“And that,” Amadeus concluded, “is Michelangelo’s Last Judgement.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 11th


  1. Hyperion said,

    So the trumpster, the trumpulator, The trump meister is the next commander in chief. I’m sure when he stands on his podium at his first Joint Chiefs of Staff meeting and bellows, “Thar she blows, treasonous wench off the starboard bow!” Those that read Moby Dick will get it. And those that didn’t read Moby Dick will arrest the Hildebeast for crimes against humanity. Of course, since his own party has abandoned him in favor of corruption, greed, subterfuge, and crimes against humanity anything could happen.

  2. anaatcalin said,

    While the piece is to die for, I hope Michelangelor is wrong.. Or right… I don’t know anymore. It’s like choosing to die either by impalement or by poison, and thinking maybe poison doesn’t hurt so much… But maybe they’re not so bad after all, and the media is exaggerating and Michelangelo went back to sleep because he saw peaceful times ahead 🙂 Just saying.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, it’s hard to say.

      I based Michelangelo’s prediction on what I’ve observed in the homeless shelter and what I’ve observed in other conversations in general.

      Nobody likes Trump but they all hate Hillary more.

      And I discovered the more economically disadvantaged a person was, the more likely they were to hate Hillary with a passion.

      So looking at the vast number of unemployed and underemployed workers in the U.S., I’ve deduced they probably hate Hillary more than they do Trump.

  3. Post-Election Aftermath: A Renfieldian Analysis | Dracul Van Helsing said,

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: