October 13th, Vampiric Knights-Templar and Russia

October 13, 2016 at 3:40 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Russian President Vladimir Putin gazed down at the document in front of him.

As he did so, the Russian leader was gripped with a profound metaphysical question.

Where he wondered, did God’s work end and the Devil’s work begin?

Well, he was about to find out.

He took a pen and signed the document.

. . .

Vatican Cardinal Walter Kasper was about to impart his apostolic blessing on a same sex marriage ceremony.

The happy couple were a pair of vampiric Knights-Templar who managed to escape French King Philip !V’s onslaught against the Knights-Templar and their grandmaster Jacques de Molay on Friday, October 13th 1307.

The pair fleeing the king’s guard were able to get themselves turned into vampires through a bite on the neck from vampiress Marguerite de Fleur de Bel.

11 other Knights-Templar were likewise bitten on the same day by the same vampiress and became vampires.

Now after centuries of living together, the romantically inclined Knights-Templar vampiric couple were about to get their union sanctioned by the Church.

Cardinal Kasper used a footnote in Pope Francis’ document Amoris Laetitia to perform the ceremony.

Bill Clinton acted as Best Man via teleconferencing and Hillary Clinton served as Maid of Honour.

Sir Elton John via teleconferencing performed his own piano melody for the occasion Smile On Jacques de Molay (to the tune of Goodbye Norma Jean and Goodbye England’s Rose).

. . .

The demon Asmodeus was smoking his 1307th cigarette of the day while sitting atop the Temple Mount and drinking bottles of Polonium-210 laced Scotch whisky just to show everyone he could do it.

“What a boastful wag,” the demon Azazel thought to himself as he planted Hell’s flag atop the Temple Mount.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday October 13th


  1. anaatcalin said,

    So beautiful! Oh, Chris, how I missed you :*

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks, Ana. 🙂

      It’s nice to be missed.

      It seems to me that the only way I can make an impact on the world is through my writing.

      And when I can’t write, it just adds to my depression.

      I’m happy when I’m able to write.

  2. Hyperion said,

    Vampiric gay Knights Templar blessed by the Pope. I think the zombie apocalypse is gong to have a shocking plot twist soon. Entertaining without end, Chris.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks very much, Daniel. 🙂

      And when you hear on CNN about vampiric gay Knights-Templar being married by the Pope, remember you heard it here first. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        It’s a new world, it’s a new way, so why not. I’m sure the Pope feels bad for selling the Templars out.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Pope Francis is always apologizing for everything the Church has done in the past- including converting people to Christianity- so I’m sure he wants to kiss and make up to the Templars.

      • Hyperion said,

        He took his clue from the great apologist and Noble Peace Prize usurper, OhBummer.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I see OhBummer’s VP Joe Biden has announced in some interview that the OhBummer Administration may take covert cyber action against Putin’s Russia for hacking the Hillarybeast’s emails.

        Some commentator wondered given the public announcement if the VP knows what the word “Covert” means.

      • Hyperion said,

        I’m sure we will send our Special Forces to New York to uncover the Russian immigrants that hacked Hellery’s private server looking for the Billion dollars of taxpayers money she misplaced. It was meant as a public service but crooked politicians loathe public service and prefer self aggrandizement instead. Thus, the good citizens were misunderstood.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Hell hath no fury like a crooked female politician scorned.

      • Hyperion said,

        and Hellery isn’t called the Hildebeast for no reason.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, the Arab Spring sprung from the breasts of Hell.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, where Hellery Kintoon was born and raised by Cerberus. Trumpet the strumpet is simply a buffoon in a red spider monkey wig. He can always get a job at McDonalds as Ronald McDonald if this presidential thang doesn’t work out.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, he probably could or get a job as a Mel Gibson style Mad Max fighter style hero in a post-apocalyptic world when Vladimir Putin decides to nuke America before the Hillarybeast is inaugurated President.

      • Hyperion said,

        Another best seller there, Chris. It has an extremely authentic ring to it. I’m sure many would resonate with that story.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, they’d prefer to resonate with Donald Mad Max than radiate with Hillary Klingon.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think many would like to see Mad Max eradicate the carbuncle on the arse of humanity by banishing Madame Klingon back to whence she came.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        As Mr. Spock would say, “A most logical decision, Captain.”

      • Hyperion said,

        All phasers on obliterate, Mr. Spock.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Mr. Spock: Phasers on obliterate, Captain.

        Doc McCoy (rushing into bridge room): Jim, you just can’t do this.

        Captain Kirk: You’re not yourself, Bones. You’re under a Klingon spell. Knock him out, Spock.

        Spock (doing just that): Dr. McCoy is knocked out, Captain.

        Mr. Sulu: Captain, the Hillarybeast has disintegrated into an ugly looking green blob.

        Captain Kirk: Looks the same as she did before. Full speed ahead, Mr. Sulu.

        Sulu: Aye, aye, Captain.

      • Hyperion said,

        Bwaa haaa haaa! Perfect :D. Now to go after the Trumpster, the Trumpulator, the Trump Meister. 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Captain Kirk: Full speed ahead, Mr. Sulu. We’ll get Lt. Uhuru to run her fingers through Mr. Trump’s hair and see what she can discover. Whether his hair is real or not.

      • Hyperion said,

        Hopefully, Uhuru wears examination gloves in case there is trouble with tribbles.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

        Yes because they’ll keep multiplying.

      • Hyperion said,

        Thus the trouble with Tribbles.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Indeed. 😀

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: