Haiku About Sir Laurence Olivier

November 30, 2016 at 5:33 pm (Film, Movies, Poetry) (, , , , )

Haiku About Sir Laurence Olivier

Knight of stage and film
a giant among actors
The greatest Hamlet

Advertisements

Permalink 3 Comments

Seeing An Old Friend Jack O’ Hare: A Poem

November 29, 2016 at 5:05 pm (Life, Literature, Nature, Poetry) (, , , , )

Seeing An Old Friend Jack O’ Hare:
A Poem

When my dad was still alive and I lived in his house,
there was a wild hare jack rabbit that lived in our back yard
that we called Jack O’ Hare.

He used to observe me when I worked on my computer downstairs
and my dad would occasionally look through the kitchen window watching Jack
as Jack watched me.

I was always fascinated how Jack’s fur changed colour throughout the seasons
In summer, he was gray
In winter, he was white, pure white in colour.

There was a neighbourhood pub I’d sometimes go to at night
And Jack would follow me there and then follow me home
I discovered this in the winter time when Jack’s footprints showed up in the snow
His footprints would lead up to the pub
and then lead back to my house

On one occasion in the winter when walking home,
I decided to turn around and look,
Sure enough there was Jack who quickly skirted behind a tree
when he noticed me turn around

My dad’s explanation for Jack following me
was that Jack was probably worried I’d end up drinking too much
and wouldn’t be able to find my way back home
so he was there as my guardian angel.

When my dad died and his most recent will and testament wasn’t found
and the house was sold by orders of my dad’s Estate
and I was forced to move,
I always wondered what became of Jack.

When I moved to Vancouver, in my writer’s imagination, I imagined Jack crossing the Rockies and coming to the West Coast to look for me
I imagined him living in Vancouver’s Stanley Park
waiting for me to show up
But we never connected.

This past July, I was evicted out of my Vancouver apartment when the rents got sky high
as Mayor Gregor Robertson slept while navel gazing in a yoga lotus position.

I moved back to Alberta
this time to Calgary
where I had to live 3 months in a homeless shelter

Eventually I did get into a place of my own this past autumn
Way on the northern outskirts of Calgary
Almost in the country and farmland areas

And today when I left my place to walk to the bus
There in an area of parkland I suddenly noticed a huge snow white coloured jack rabbit
about the same size that Jack O’ Hare was

We seemed shocked to see one another
I stood there staring at him
And he stood there staring at me with his ears perked up
After a few minutes of staring at one another
we went our respective ways
I- my bus to catch
And Jack O’ Hare- carrots to eat and female bunny rabbits to woo.

Of course in reality I know it’s not the same wild hare jack rabbit
Not the same Jack O’ Hare who used to live in my back yard and who used to follow me to the neighbourhood pub and back home again

But in my writer’s imagination, I’d like to think so
That it is the same Jack O’ Hare
a Jack O’ Hare who followed me across the Rockies to Vancouver
And then followed me back across the Rockies to Calgary
and at last, we’ve found one another again.

And who knows?
A very wise man once wrote these words,
“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
Perhaps Jack O’ Hare and I have found one another again. 🙂

-A Jack O’ Hare poem
written by Christopher
Sunday November 27th
2016

Permalink 6 Comments

Qonzilqointec In Post-Fidel Havana

November 28, 2016 at 5:27 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Obituaries, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec In Post-Fidel Havana

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec walked the streets of Havana in the wake of the death of Fidel Castro- leader of the Cuban Revolution, Prime Minister of Cuba for 17 years and President of Cuba for 30.

He had landed in Cuba with 80 rebels in 1956, was only 32 when he toppled Cuban dictator Fulgencio Batista in 1959 and he had survived 638 assassination attempts.

His decision to allow the Soviet Union to put nuclear missiles in Cuba in 1962 had brought the world to the brink of nuclear war in October of that year.

Khrushchev blinked and backed down and John F. Kennedy breathed a sigh of relief.

Castro had proclaimed his revolution a Marxist-Leninist one and as a result Cuba had suffered a U.S. led economic embargo that had lasted 56 years.

As a result of course, the great classic American cars of the 1950s and early 1960s still are seen on the streets of Havana.

Castro to his credit had built one of the best health care and education systems in the world.

Thousands of medical practitioners graduate in Cuba every year and Cuba sends them to more than 60 countries across the globe to provide aid and assistance.

The Cuban nation also enjoys a world class biotech industry that is saving millions of lives through dispensing vaccines and drugs to needy countries at a fraction of the cost that large multinationals would charge.

No doubt the money grubbing U.S. pharmaceutical giants were not sorry to see Castro go.

Cuban soldiers had defeated South African troops in Angola in 1988 at Cuito Canivale.

That defeat not only led to South Africa withdrawing from Namibia and Namibian independence but Nelson Mandela himself attributed South Africa’s defeat by Cuban troops to his release from jail and the ultimate defeat of apartheid.

Although Castro had officially proclaimed Cuba an atheistic state, he gave a hero’s welcome to Pope John Paul II when that pontiff visited in 1998, he met with Pope Benedict XVI in 2012 and asked him whatever became of the Latin Tridentine Mass during their talks, and later had a 30-minute meeting with Pope Francis in September of 2015.

And now, thought Qonzilqointec, who would continue Castro’s Revolution now that he was gone?

She walked the streets of Havana in her lavender coloured evening dress and looked up at the stars and pondered the question.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 26th
2016.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Haiku About Rita Hayworth

November 26, 2016 at 6:02 pm (Film, Movies, Poetry) (, , , , , )

Haiku About Rita Hayworth

Put the blame on Mame
Gilda? Lady From Shanghai?
Cinematic queen

Permalink Leave a Comment

Osiris and The Lost Nag Hammadi Scroll

November 25, 2016 at 6:24 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Osiris and The Lost Nag Hammadi Scroll

The ancient Egyptian vampire Osiris was in his Rome apartment enjoying a spaghetti omelette along with a bowl of Kellog’s Rice Crispies.

He had had an eventful four years since his return to Earth from the star system of Sirius back in 2012.

His returning space ship had disintegrated (with him aboard) when a Russian nuclear sub had fired a laser death ray at it.

Fortunately for him, the famous Swiss scientist Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius had been present in a nearby row boat with a working replica model of the CERN Large Hadron Collider that was able to gather up all the disintegrated atomic and sub-atomic particles.

At Halloween 2014, he Osiris had been resurrected again after his particles were put back together again by Dr. Cadbury Rocher (Normally Dr. Rocher worked for Osiris’ evil brother and brother-in-law Set but the two had had a falling out that month over financial funding for Dr. Rocher’s beloved Pegasus Project).

When Osiris had been re-assembled that Halloween but with a certain part of his anatomy missing (the same part of his anatomy that had gone missing millennia ago when Isis had put him back together after Set had dismembered him), that led to marital problems with his wife and sister Isis.

So Isis continued to live in Paris and he Osiris moved to Rome.

Since that time, Osiris had become interested in the matter of a lost Nag Hammadi scroll.

It had apparently become separated from the other scrolls in the 12 leather bound papyrus codices that were found near the Upper Egyptian town of Nag Hammadi in 1945.

The scroll was believed to be the Gnostic Gospel of The Wedding said to recount the marriage ceremony between Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene that certain Gnostic groups believed had taken place.

Osiris had gotten in touch with a Russian Jesuit priest Father Augustus Adonais who worked in the Vatican Archives.

Father Adonais believed that the Gospel of The Wedding had wound up in the Vatican Archives shortly after Carl Jung’s death in 1961 (The Carl Gustav Jung Institute in Zurich had purchased the Gnostic Gospels of the Nag Hammadi Scrolls in 1951).

The phone rang.

Osiris wiped the spaghetti and scrambled eggs off his chin and walked over to pick up the receiver.

It was Father Augustus Adonai phoning to tell him that he had found the Gospel of The Wedding.

He had found it underneath an envelope marked Pope Pius X’s Vision of What The Future Antichrist and Future False Prophet Will Look Like.

“Anyways, your Most Exalted Ancient Egyptian Majesty,” Father Augustus Adonais spoke, “I found a passage in the Gospel of The Wedding that might interest you.”

Father Adonais read him the passage.

Apparently Simon Peter objected most vigourously to the upcoming marriage between Jesus and Mary Magdalene.

Said Peter in the Gospel, “Be it far from thee, O Lord. Verily, verily, I say unto you that if you go through with this, one of your descendants will be wearing red spider monkey fur on his head for a hairpiece.”

Osiris looked at the TV screen where Donald Trump was giving an interview and hair was falling off of his head during the interview.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 25th
2016.

Permalink 1 Comment

Belvedere, Mitt Romney and The Mormon Archives

November 24, 2016 at 6:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Belvedere, Mitt Romney and The Mormon Archives

Belvedere the Ghost White Salamander and reporter for the Times of London was once again meeting with the London parking lot, office building and apartment building owning millionaire Ryan Rider.

Ryan Rider (through methods he didn’t elaborate on) had access to the files of the mysterious individual who called himself Robur The Conquerer (Robur was, as it turns out, a genetic clone of U.S. Civil War Confederate General Albert Pike who had been cloned from Pike’s DNA back in 1966 by Nazi scientist Eckhart Fromm who had been brought into the U.S. through Operation Paperclip).

“You have something for me, Mr. Rider?” Belvedere asked as he approached Rider’s office (a 4-door rusty gold coloured GMC truck) that was parked in the middle of the Not So Standard Parking Lot.

“Damn,” Rider swore, “someone just text messaged me asking me what my postal code is.”

The eccentric and postal code phobic millionaire started hyperventilating.

“Please get ahold of yourself, Mr. Rider,” Belvedere spoke exasperatedly, “On the phone, you said you discovered the reason why Donald Trump is making a rapprochement with his old Republican Party enemy Mitt Romney. There’s even talk that the President-elect may name Mitt Romney as his Secretary of State.”

“That’s right,” Ryan Rider grinned, “I’ve discovered the reason why Donald Trump is making a rapprochement with Mitt Romney.”

There was silence in the Not So Standard Parking Lot.

“Well would you mind telling me before Hell freezes over?” Belvedere stated as it started to snow in the Not So Standard Parking Lot.

Ryan Rider blew his nose and gazed at Belvedere, “Have you ever heard of the Mormon Archives, Mr. Belvdere?”.

“You mean the archives the Mormon Church keeps that have reams of genealogical research on families from all around the world?” Belvedere asked.

“That is correct, Mr. Belvedere,” Ryan Rider smiled with both a twinkle and a snowflake in his eye, “and do you know what is to be found in those Mormon Archives that is the direct cause of the rapprochement between Trump and Romney? What Romney discovered about the Trump family’s ancestry in those files that led Romney to reconcile with Trump?”.

“No,” Belvedere shook his head, “if I knew what was to be found in those Mormon Archives genealogical files that led to the rapprochement between Trump and Romney, I wouldn’t be standing here in this parking lot freezing my ghostly white salamander nuts off talking to you.”

“What Romney found,” Rider approached Belvedere and conspiratorially whispered in his ghostly white salamander ears, “is that Donald Trump is a direct descendant of the marriage between Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene.”

“Holy shit!” Belvedere exclaimed.

“Well I believe it was Holy Blood, Holy Grail that was the name of the book that first publicly postulated that there was a blood line in the world today that was directly descended from the marriage of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene,” Rider pointed out.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 22nd
2016.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Haiku About Mermaids

November 23, 2016 at 6:13 pm (Fantasy, Folklore, Mythology, Poetry) (, , , )

Haiku About Mermaids

Maidens of the sea
alluring and sensuous
beckon to unknown

Permalink 18 Comments

The Black Hand In Rome: A Poem

November 21, 2016 at 5:30 pm (Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

The Black Hand In Rome: A Poem

Around her streets, the Black Hand crawls
It stops in to look at the Colosseum walls
Hearing the screams of ancient victims past
The Black Hand thinks it quite the blast
And crawls into the Vatican’s sacred halls
seeking to spread Death’s dark palls
The Cardinal called JM welcomed him in
Saying gleefully, let the diabolical spells begin.

-A horror poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 21st
2016.

Permalink 8 Comments

Pegasus Unveiled

November 19, 2016 at 6:19 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Pegasus Unveiled

Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher had invited former British Prime Minister David Cameron on a tour of Set Enterprises’ Laboratories.

The sanity challenged scientist had run into the former British PM in a tea shop.

Mr. Cameron was looking depressed as a result of the fact he was no longer Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and as a result of the fact that the British people had voted for BREXIT even though he had personally campaigned for the United Kingdom to remain within the European Union.

To cheer Mr. Cameron up, Dr. Rocher invited him on a tour of his laboratories.

Rocher introduced Cameron to Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster who was wearing sunglasses and lying on the sand at the bottom of the aquarium reading a water proof copy of the magazine The Hot Looking Babes In Donald Trump’s Life.

“I think Michelangelo has been spending too much time with Renfield,” Dr. Rocher thought to himself when he noticed his genetically created psychic lobster’s choice of reading material.

David Cameron suddenly noticed a measuring gauge that said 30 trillion below zero.

“This gauge here,” David Cameron pointed to it, “that says 30 trillion below zero. What is it measuring?”.

“The collective IQ of the editors, columnists and reporters at the Washington Post newspaper,” Dr. Rocher replied.

“Really?” David Cameron was shocked, “how long has the gauge been showing that?”.

“Well it had hit a trillion below zero by the end of U.S. Election Night November 8th 2016,” Dr. Rocher replied, “and it’s been going down hill ever since.”

“I see they’re now saying,” Cameron stated referring to the pundits at The Washington Post, “that Trump won’t be bringing real change to Washington DC.”

“Yes,” Dr. Cameron smiled and nodded, “the same geniuses who had been saying all year that Trump would never win the Presidency.”

“You think Trump will bring real change to Washington DC?” Cameron queried.

“Yes,” Dr. Rocher answered in the affirmative, “Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster has been showing me visions of what America and the world will look like under a Trump Presidency. There’s real change a-coming.”

Cracks started to emerge in Michelangelo’s aquarium as the Psychic Lobster got a vision of well known London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes showing up on the floor of Congress during Trump’s 1st State of the Union Address.

As Dr. Cadbury Rocher led David Cameron through the maze of laboratories at Set Enterprises, they passed through the office of Renfield R. Renfield the Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises.

Renfield wasn’t in his office at the moment. He was coaching an attractive young female Drama student at the University of London. He was playing the part of President Bill Clinton to her Monica Lewinsky.

“It’s a shame we have to ruin such a beautiful blue dress,” Renfield told her, “but nevertheless the Stanislavski method calls for realism.”

As Renfield was busy producing an unpatented brand of mouthwash, Dr. Rocher used Renfield’s absence in the office to briefly watch BBC World News on Renfield’s high-definition television screen.

BBC Reporter: Hello, this is Nigel Roberts reporting for BBC News in New York City. At tonight’s impromptu anti-Trump rally in Central Park, something unusual is occurring. There are reports of a moustached man with a British accent appearing to ugly looking women at the rally and saying to them, “My God, but you’re ugly.” The ugly looking women are then beheaded by another man who is wearing Bermuda shorts here on this cold mid-November night in New York City and who is reported to have hairy goats’ legs as well as hooves for feet.

BBC News Anchorwoman Geeta Guru-Murthy (interjecting from BBC Central Studios in London):

Nigel, we’re getting reports that the entire New York City membership of the Facebook group Pantsuit Nation has been wiped out. Is that correct?

Nigel Roberts: That is correct, Geeta. The entire membership was decapitated just within the past hour by the said individual with Bermuda shorts and hairy goats’ legs. Wait a minute, I think I can see that machete wielding individual now. Yes… it’s… I do believe it’s Pan Goatee the famous serial killer whose specialty is killing ugly looking women in what he has called his “one man crusade to make the world a more beautiful place in which to live.”

Geeta Guru-Murthy: Nigel, can you get an interview with him?

Nigel Roberts: Pan Goatee is within range of the camera now. Pan, Pan, Pan, can you say a word to our audience here on BBC World News?

Pan Goatee (grinning): Sure, Nigel, I’ve always got plenty of time to talk to the media.

Nigel Roberts: Now, Pan, one mystery has been solved at this anti-Trump rally in Central Park tonight. You’re obviously the individual who’s been seen beheading ugly looking women at this rally…

Pan Goatee: That’s correct, Nigel. As Seinfeld’s Cosmo Kramer might well put it, “There aren’t as many Hillary Clinton supporters as there used to be.”

Nigel Roberts: And Pantsuit Nation is gone?

Pan Goatee (grinning): Pantsuit Nation is gone. Only headless corpses in pantsuits will be seen walking the fashion runways and catwalks in New York this autumn.

Nigel Roberts: But the one question I do have is, if you’re the one doing the beheadings, then who is the moustached gentleman with the British accent saying to these ugly women, “My God, but you’re ugly” just before you decapitate them?

Pan Goatee: Well, as you know, Nigel, I’ve been working on developing my psychic abilities. As you know, I can astral project and I can also create an astral laser beam machete with my mind. I’ve also been working on producing holographic images with my mind.

Nigel Roberts: Really?

Pan Goatee: Yes and Donald Trump’s lovely daughters, particularly the lovely Ivanka, have been helping me with my cultural development. And part of that cultural development has been watching the popular 1970s British comedy Fawlty Towers with John Cleese as Basil Fawlty.

Nigel Roberts: I loved that show.

Pan Goatee: Anyways you may recall that episode where John Cleese as Basil Fawlty is in an hospital room and he says to some nurse, “My God, but you’re ugly”.

Nigel Roberts: Oh yes, I remember that episode very well.

Pan Goatee: I laughed for hours when I heard that line. That’s what gave me the inspiration to produce with my mind a holographic image of John Cleese as Basil Fawlty saying to these ugly women, “My God, but you’re ugly” just before I behead them. It’s sort of a unique comedic dramatic way of adding insult to injury.

Nigel Roberts (smiling at the camera): Well mystery solved, Geeta.
It’s Pan Goatee beheading the ugly looking women at these anti-Trump rallies. And it’s a holographic image of John Cleese as Basil Fawlty saying to these ugly women, “My God, but you’re ugly” just before they’re beheaded.

Geeta Guru-Murthy: So your report there from the anti-Trump rally in Central Park, Nigel, is ugly women are dead and Pantsuit Nation is gone.

Nigel Roberts (grinning): That’s correct, Geeta.

Geeta Guru-Murthy (smiling at the camera) : Well with that in mind, it makes me glad that I’m beautiful and glad that I’m wearing a skirt this evening.

Former British Prime Minister David Cameron looked at the TV screen in total shock.

Said Cameron, “It’s like a combination of a slasher horror film and one of those futuristic science-fiction movies. A satyr serial killer beheading ugly women. And a holographic image of John Cleese as Basil Fawlty saying to them, “My God, but you’re ugly” just before they’re beheaded. It’s incredible.”

“It is and of course being female,” Dr. Rocher pointed out, “they’re probably more upset by the words thrown at them in the last moment of their mortal life than they are about being beheaded.”

“Undoubtedly,” David Cameron wholeheartedly agreed.

Dr. Rocher then led Cameron to his next laboratory where there was a screen in front of a large glass enclosure.

“And now, Mr. Cameron, I present to you my greatest creation, the creature I’ve spent the past dozen years trying to genetically re-create,” the scientist pushed a button.

“Good God,” David Cameron gasped, “It’s Pegasus the winged horse of Greek mythology.”

Meanwhile in his aquarium, Michelangelo was ripping off a piece of waterproof masking tape trying to repair the crack on his aquarium glass.

As he did so, the psychic lobster recalled a comment that an American pundit had made earlier this year, “There’s about as much chance of Donald Trump being elected President as there is of the winged horse Pegasus being re-created.”

Meanwhile Renfield R. Renfield was returning to his office after finally collecting and picking up his recently won baseball winnings from a British bookie. He was recalling a statement that another pundit had made at the start of the year, “There’s about much chance of Donald Trump winning the Presidency as there is of the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series after 108 years.”

It was as Dr. Cadbury Rocher had said (and as the folk songs of the 1960s had said 50 years previously), “The times, they are a-changing.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday November 17th
2016.

Permalink 28 Comments

Haiku About Leonard Cohen R.I.P.

November 18, 2016 at 5:25 pm (Literature, News, Poetry) (, , , )

Haiku About Leonard Cohen R.I.P.

Poet of pathos
Words rise from depth of being
sing “Hallelujah”

Permalink 4 Comments

Next page »