Post-Election Aftermath: A Renfieldian Analysis

November 9, 2016 at 6:03 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Post-Election Aftermath: A Renfieldian Analysis

In the editorial boardrooms of The Washington Post, The New York Times, CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC and the United Kingdom’s own The Economist newsmagazine, they sat there with totally stupefied and totally stupid looks on their faces.

Not one of these self-proclaimed geniuses had seen this coming.

Many of them began to think that Josef Stalin had it right after all, when every few years, he had slaughtered millions of the common people.

Perhaps if they, the western world’s global elite, had been doing the same thing the past several decades, yesterday’s election debacle might have been prevented.

Even BREXIT might have been stillborn.

Representing the members of the film, music and entertainment industry’s chattering classes, a female blonde moron wearing a t-shirt that said I USED TO BE HANNAH MONTANA sobbed, “Now everybody is going to think that we in the film, music and entertainment industries are a bunch of airheads” (totally oblivious to the fact that most American citizens and indeed most people across the world already thought so).

To confirm the former Miss Montana’s idiotic fears, most of those in the film, music and entertainment industries who had jumped on the losing side’s bandwagon were already using the hoses off bicycle tire air pumps to try to pump their heads up to what should be their proper cranial and cerebral size.

A defeated Presidential candidate in her campaign headquarters who had been forced to write a concession speech at the last moment (a speech she had never written throughout her entire election campaign) was now reflecting how the vast right-wing conspiracy was even more vast than she had originally thought in that TV interview she gave 20 years ago.

In the city of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada,that metropolis’ vast conglomerate of pot-smoking potheads were trying desperately to get off the One Hell of A Nightmare stoner trip they were currently on about what had occurred south of the border.

. . .

As Amadeus Emanon watched Renfield R. Renfield type up his analysis of the U.S. Presidential election, he remarked, “So Michelangelo was right and the experts were wrong?”.

(Michelangelo the genetically created psychic lobster for Set Enterprises had correctly called the U.S. Election almost a month ago

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2016/10/11/michelangelo-calls-u-s-election/

)

“That should come as no surprise, should it?” Renfield asked as he took a large swig from a bottle of Tennessee bourbon and struck his best Ernest Hemingway pose.

“No, I suppose not,” Amadeus reflected.

“After all, you know what an expert is, don’t you?” Renfield grinned as he lit a cigar before proceeding to bang away on his old antique Underwood typewriter.

“No, what is an expert?” Amadeus almost dreaded to ask Renfield.

“Well,” Renfield grinned as he chewed his cigar, “an ex is a has-been and a spurt is a drip of water under pressure.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 9th
2016.

20 Comments

  1. Hyperion said,

    Bwaaa haaa haaaa! The only group in the world to have any real sense left is the group down at Set Enterprises led by that randy rascal, Renfield. The only person MOST Americans hated more than Trump was Hillery and thus we are setting the stage for a comeback of red haired spider monkey toupees. Perhaps that will unite us.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes the new red in red, white and blue will be red spider monkey toupees- a symbol of unity.

      As Lincoln might well put it, a hairpiece divided against itself will fall.

      • Hyperion said,

        I’ve read several Canadian comments about the mad dash of Americans leaving the country for Canada to avoid Trump. Canada doesn’t need another million or two foreigners that will refuse to adapt and demand free social welfare then complain if it isn’t up to their self imposed standard of shallow self-centered perversion. Canada should get busy building a Trump Refugee wall. The honest hard working moral and ethical people are staying put. We bled for this country, we’re keeping it but, I certainly don’t wish ill will on our lovely neighbors north of the border by throwing our trash out in your back yard.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, my friend Jack Morrow in Edmonton has sent the Minister of Immigration an email (which he sent me a copy of) saying not to accept in the country a bunch of refugees whose only reason for entering is because they’re a bunch of sore losers.

        My landlady (who is herself an immigrant from the Philippines) says she hopes they won’t accept liberal American refugees because she says, “We’ve got enough idiotic liberals of our own in Canada. We don’t need America’s as well.”

      • Hyperion said,

        Those voices need to be heard. These chuckleheads here think Canada owes them entry because they are Americans. Everyone owes them whatever they want and when they don’t get it, they threaten, riot, and cause general mayhem. And people talk about the Syrian refugees. . .

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

        Very true.

        I was reading an opinion piece by one of the self-absorbed Washington Post columnists who proudly proclaims himself a “liberal elitist” and was looking his nose down at the rest of the country for not voting the way he wanted them to.

        He wished these people would go stick their heads in some water.

        I was wishing Renfield R. Renfield would drop by and use his firearm to shoot this guy’s balls off (that is if he has any).

      • Hyperion said,

        If only Pan Goatee had an interest in eliminating elitist libertine idiots. The world would be a nicer place. I’m sure Renfield and Pan could do far more for the world than Batman and Robin AKA Buttskin and Rubbers.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Indeed.

        Yes and as for Buttskin and Rubbers, what can you say about a couple of guys who are always hanging out together and wearing masks and dressing in skimpy shorts and white silk tights all the time?

        Yes, as they said on the old Batman TV show, “Millionaire Bruce Wayne and his youthful ward Dick Grayson…”

        If that shouldn’t raise a red flag about sexual perversions in Gotham City, nothing will…

      • Hyperion said,

        Bwaa haaa haaa! And they thought the Joker was half a bubble off plumb πŸ˜‰

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, they did.

        LOL !

      • Hyperion said,

        πŸ˜€ eh eh ehhhh

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        As the Joker put it when he opened up a bank in Gotham City, “perhaps you’d like a Batcave Improvement Loan, Batman”.

      • Hyperion said,

        Ha ha ha haaaa! Complete with bat eradication thrown in for free.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

      • Hyperion said,

        πŸ˜€

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        πŸ˜€

  2. Natasha Pea said,

    She won the popular vote actually, but because we have electoral vote system Trump wone the presidency. I dislike both of them, but this morning I couldn’t help but being in total shock and disbelief. Urgh

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