Michelangelo Peeks Into The Clintons’ Future

December 6, 2016 at 5:41 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Michelangelo Peeks Into The Clintons’ Future

Renfield R. Renfield asked Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster to peer into the future of Bill and Hillary Clinton to see what they’re up to.

Michelangelo’s vision would be transferred via his lobster antennae to a computer screen that Renfield was watching.

“It looks like the Clintons are having a wee bit of a tiff,” Renfield remarked as he gazed at the computer screen.

Hillary (screaming): Bill, anything you can do, I can do better.

Bill (answering back): Oh yeah. Well I got to be President of the United States and you didn’t. (sticks his tongue out) Nyaaah, nyaah, nyaah, nyaah! Ha! Ha!

(Hillary grabs a frying pan and hits Bill over the head with it)

Sound of Frying Pan (hitting Bill’s head): Clang!

(Bill falls to the floor unconscious)

(Hillary bangs a gong to call the Secret Service)

Sound of gong being struck by Hillary: Clang!

(A group of terrified Secret Service agents arrive in the room)

Hillary (pointing to her unconscious husband on the floor): Will you please pick Bill up and drag him out to the dog house in the back yard again and leave him there!

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 6th


  1. Hyperion said,

    Bwaaa haaa haaa! Everyone knows Hillary doesn’t like to be reminded that Bill was Prez and she wasn’t. I’ll bet Bill stashed some scotch and a naughty mag in his dog house where he spends most of his days.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Undoubtedly he has done so. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        While Hellery Von Teufelrin was out screaming at her security detail to fetch her laundry, Bill was excavating an underground pleasure palace under his dog house. When she looked out over the grounds at night and saw the ghostly pall of the flood lights illuminate the dark entrance to Bill’s dog house, Hilderbeast was smug in the knowledge she had kowtowed her Billery. Little did she know, Bill was in the basement with a Japanese made silicone doll smoking a cheap cigar and contemplating his next fetish. On the wall was a painting of Sherrielock Holmes by the famous Sherrielock admirer Modigliani. Bill surely puffed his cheap cigar and rubbed his flaming red fanny.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Bill Clinton (smoking his cigar): This reminds me of that episode of Night Gallery where the oil paintings came to life.

        Ghost of Rod Serling: Indeed as Mr. Clinton so astutely observed, an oil painting has come to life like in that episode of my Night Gallery. And the reason for this is… unknowingly Mr. Clinton has paid a visit to the Twilight Zone. Coming up next on this station is… Night Gallery where I present to you for your viewing pleasure a tale where a hair toupee of red spider monkey fur comes alive in the Oval Office…

      • Hyperion said,

        LOL! Do you keep up with all the Buffoonery of the red spider monkey toupee that is going on these days. Our White House has become a British comedy even Monte Python could never have imagined.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, one would think that the American public had just elected a Reality TV star to be its President. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        We had an actor try it once. Reagan wasn’t so bad and there was a lot of fear that came with his election. I’m not so sure Trumpet butt-tweet has the skill but we’ll have to give him his chance.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I don’t think Trump will start World War III.

        Personally I think it will be Erdogan of Turkey.

        He’ll do something stupid.

        Putin will put him in his place.

        And then because Turkey is a NATO ally (even though its head of state is a ruthless despot), it will be the same situation as the start of World War I- a bunch of crazy alliances and a bunch of stupid miscalculations by world leaders, the world will finally find itself in the midst of a world war.

      • Hyperion said,

        I certainly agree that despots and stupidity is an excellent catalyst for conflict. Never underestimate the power of stupid.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Hillary is no doubt regretting the fact that she underestimated the power of stupid.

      • Hyperion said,

        She had Nancy Pelosi, Obama, and Harry Reid on her side. She surely thought she had stupidity well in her grasp.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Oops, I thought you were replying to a comment I had made on another post.

        It turns out you weren’t.

        So the above comment may not make much sense.

        But if you read my comment on that other post and thought I was elaborating on it, you now know how Michelangelo and I will think World War III will begin,.

      • Hyperion said,

        LoL 😂 WordPress connects our thoughts in mysterious ways. And of course, we outlawed napalm without much thought of the future and how replicating Hell for our enemies was useful. Now all we can due is drop pamphlets with invitations to the White House for coffee and Honey Buns after the Liberals drained all the defense dollars to pay for subsidized marijuana and condoms for clowns. There were so many clowns we couldn’t condom them all and so little clowns litter the countryside.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

        That’s very true.

        I sent you an email asking you what Sherrie’s email address is again.

        I’m unable to access my iPhone (for reasons I explain in that email) and the library computer I’m using must have been hacked by DARPA (or Hillary Clinton) for it seems to have erased all trace of any email I received from Sherrie. Otherwise I could check that email to see what Sherrie’s email address is.

      • Hyperion said,

        I will venture forth into my cluttered inbox immediately. But first, I shall don the proper data spelunking gear.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That’s always a wise thing to do. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        Reply sent, my friend.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thanks, Daniel. 🙂

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