Much Ado About The Orient Express

April 17, 2017 at 4:38 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

As Pan Goatee was about to board the train, he noticed a fat ugly looking blimp of a woman getting off in front of him.

She resembled a fat cow having a bad bovine face day.

Pan Goatee promptly took out his laser machete and cut her head off.

As he kicked the head off into the gutter and boarded the train, he thought about a movie he had watched a few nights earlier- Murder On The Orient Express set in the early 1930s.

Why Pan Goatee wondered, would anyone want to commit a murder on the Orient Express in those days?

They had no ugly women or very little at any rate back in the 1930s.

Not like this horrendous second decade of the 21st Century where ugly women were everywhere- at least in the Western world- trains, planes and automobiles.

Meanwhile in Istanbul, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan was celebrating his referendum win yesterday which gave greater powers to his Presidency paving the way to his becoming the new Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire.

Erdogan was so happy that he thought the original Orient Express railway route between Paris and Istanbul should be revived again.

Meanwhile in London, dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes was taking a British Conservative MP Agathor Christie a great nephew of Agatha Christie (author of Murder On The Orient Express) grocery shopping with her.

Sherrielock Holmes Grocery Shopping With Agathor Christie

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 17th


  1. Aquileana said,

    “She resembled a fat cow having a bad bovine face day”: that sentence is brilliant .. 😀 well, I don´t like ugly people either… But I guess I wouldn´t dare to act as Pan Goatee did…. Ha!. Even if one could argue we could be doing something in name of Mankind or Higher ideals … 😉
    Times are hectic, aren´t they… we seem to be entering a phase in which the old and the new converge… Politically speaking, there are signals in this sense. Would the next “war” be ideological or cultural…. We´d better ask Samuel Huntington // // Great share, dear Dracul… Love & best wishes! ⭐

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks for the share on Huntington. I remember his book The Clash of Civilizations from the 1990s which correctly foresaw the clash between the former Christendom and the Muslim world. So he was born 90 years ago today? That is interesting. Of course Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI just turned 90 this past Easter Sunday. I remember his Regensburg Address back in 2006 where he quoted what a medieval Byzantine emperor had to say about Islam didn’t go over so well.

      That’s right, Pan Goatee is operating in the name of Higher Ideals for mankind. 😀 I always thought Oscar Wilde’s and Friedrich Nietzsche’s ideas and concepts of beauty and aesthetics should be given a lot more credence and acceptance in today’s contemporary worlds. Instead society has been allowed to go to the dogs (and I’m talking the ugly two-legged variety as opposed to the cute adorable looking four-legged variety). 😉

      Thanks again for your kind comments. 🙂

      Love and best wishes to you as well.

  2. Michelangelo Foresees Pope Francis At Regensburg | Dracul Van Helsing said,

    […] grocery store accompanying Renfield’s own personal dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes (please read […]

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