The Duck Called Samuel Puddlington: A Poem

May 3, 2017 at 4:21 pm (Humour, Nature, Poetry) (, , , , , )

Samuel Puddlington The Duck looking very dapper

The duck called Samuel Puddlington was going to the grand ball
wearing a spiffy bow tie made him look 6 feet tall
It was going to be a grand event
attended by the Duchess of Kent

And so the duck waddled his way into the limousine
and sat next to a froggy green
“Ribbit! Ribbit!” said the frog
as he sat on a bump on a log.
“Rabbit! Rabbit!” said the big-eared hare
as he munched on a carrot orange and fair.

The limo pulled into the grounds of Mossdale Hall
packed with limos, the cars were at a crawl
Samuel Puddlington got out of the car
and inquired, “Good man, do they have a bar?”.
“Of course, you ninny,” said the chauffeur
while the rabbit stopped to wash his fur.

To the house the three went,
rabbit, frog and ducky gent
They knocked on the big front door
on which hung the head of Thomas More
“Too bad King Henry didn’t get around to burying him,” Sam remarked
while the estate’s Saint Bernard dog laughed and barked.

The butler arrived and opened the door
behind him was a luxurious floor
The three animals entered and wiped their feet
if a rug had been there, the floor would still look neat.

Samuel Puddlington headed straight for the bar
waddling faster than a Daytona race car
Said he, “I like my martinis shaken not stirred.”
The bartender replied, “Don’t be a James Bond nerd”.

Puddlington delivered him a karate kick with one of his orange webbed feet
The bartender hit the ground like the dust bowl on Texas’ Pecos Pete
Said the duck, “I’m Double-O Seven, you half-brained twit
to tangle with me, you must show true grit.”

“Now that you’ve tangled, how about the tango?”
said a voice as melodious and sweet as a mango.
It was a lovely Latina senorita
who got goose bumps looking
at this fowl male Nikita.

So the duck and the senorita held hands
(or should I say feet?)
And they did dance to an Argentinian beat
The duck and the Latina lass
they really did show such class
a dip here
and a raised skirt there
they soon became the talk of this county fair.

And so now you’ve met Samuel Puddlington the Duck
whose bill gives a greater bang for one’s buck.

Samuel Puddlington The Duck with bill

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday May 3rd 2017.

15 Comments

  1. Dracul Van Helsing said,

    Reblogged this on Dracul Van Helsing and commented:

    A poem about a duck called Samuel Puddlington that I wrote over a year ago.

  2. Tanya said,

    Amazing , wit and sarcasm at its best! Samuel Puddlington the best!

  3. David Redpath said,

    That was very nice, Chris.
    A happy ending for once.
    The lovely Latina Senorita,
    in the end, got her duck.
    Was that so hard?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Well after several drinks, if I get up the nerve, I’ll ask the lovely Latina Senorita, “Was it hard?”.

      • David Redpath said,

        If she replies,
        “Sí, for a small fee, Señor”,
        you’ll know she ain’t building
        no big beautiful wall.
        As Santa yells out his traditional warning to
        all sailors in from the sea,
        “Ho! Ho! Ho!”.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        😂

  4. A Delightful Duck Called Samuel Puddlington | Dracul Van Helsing said,

  5. thelonelyauthorblog said,

    LOL
    Loved it

  6. annieasksyou said,

    The bow-tied duck reminds me of my nephew’s dog, a white ball of fluff I deeply covet who marched down the aisle at my nephew and now-niece’s wedding wearing a similar black bow tie.

    I like the couplet that ends “Don’t be a James Bond nerd!”

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks, Annie.🙂

      That would have been quite the wedding photo to see of the white ball of fluff dog wearing a black bow tie. 😂

      Yes, it was coming across that photo of the duck wearing a bow tie on the Net one day that inspired me to write this poem.

  7. The Bubbly,Tipsy Mermaid (TIB) said,

    Quacky and flashy!

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